Page 45 of What He Never Knew

“Okay.”

My head popped up again at his response, eyes wide and hopeful. “Really?”

“Let’s go get a dog.”

I squealed, jumping up and down before I threw myself at him in a hug of joy. I didn’t even think twice about it, about touching him, aboutbeingtouched. All I could think in that moment was that I had won. He was going to get a dog, and it was going to make him happy whether he realized it yet or not.

I’d help him find joy, just the way he had for me.

He laughed when I launched at him, catching me with anoomphthat faded into a heavy silence once we both realized I was in his arms, his hands at my waist, mine around his neck.

My traitorous eyes fell to his lips again, and my already hot neck nearly caught fire before I managed to slip out of his arms and put a few feet between us. I toyed with the crystal around my neck, heart beating in such an unfamiliar rhythm that I wondered if it was still my own.

“You want to go now?” Reese asked. “Before our lesson?”

I nodded, teeth bared in an unsure grimace. “Can we?”

A smile touched the creases of Reese’s eyes as he watched me, like I was too adorable for him to say no to. If there was even a chance that was what he wasactuallythinking, I was going to hold that face for as long as it took to convince him.

“Alright, alright, stop looking at me like it’syouwho’s getting the damn dog,” he grumped, taking another long drink of water before conceding. “I’ll drive.”

“Yay!” I jumped in the air again, fist high before I skittered off to grab my bag, following Reese toward the front door. “This is going to be great. You’ll see.”

Reese shook his head with a smirk, but my smile only grew wider as I bounded out the door and into the passenger seat of his car.

He was going to get a dog. He was going to get a dog becauseIsuggested it. He was going to get a dog, and all I’d really had to do to convince him was assure him I’d help him with it. And at the bottom of all that, I only saw one truth.

Reese Walker trusted me.

And I wouldn’t take that for granted.

Reese

I needed a cigarette.

Every cell in my body ached for one as I stood rooted to the spot at the end of the first hallway of dogs, their barks ringing in my ears. Sarah must have sensed that I’d stopped, because she looked back over her shoulder once she was a few rows down. When she saw my face, she laughed, rolling her eyes and making her way back to me.

“Come on,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest. The movement framed her beloved crystal in such a way that it was all I could stare at, like somehow it’d bringmepeace the same way it did her. “They won’t bite.” Her face screwed up then. “Well, actually, I can’t really promise that. Maybe don’t go sticking your fingers in cages until we talk to someone.”

That got a little laugh out of me, and I blew out a breath, scratching the back of my neck as my eyes wandered the hall behind her. “There are so many of them.”

“I know,” she said, voice softer this time. “Kind of sad, huh?”

I nodded.

Sarah watched me as I took in our scenery, the gray walls and black wire that made up the dog cages not doing anything to bring me comfort. It felt like we were in a prison, and being that I already felt that way by living in my fucked-up mind, I found I really didn’t need a physical representation.

“Hey,” she said after a moment, stepping toward me. She moved her head to the side until my eyes met hers, and then she smiled, the curl of her lips comforting and sure. “If you want to leave, we can go. I didn’t mean to push you into anything. I just… I just thought this might be a good thing, to get a dog, to have a friend at home. And, you know, to get one lucky guy or girl out of here.”

She looked around then, a shade of sadness passing over her.

My chest tightened as I watched the hope in her eyes slowly die at my refusal to move. There was something holding me back, and I hated that I couldn’t place it. I wanted to let Sarah in, to tell her that I didn’t mean to be the grumpy old man that I’d become — though saying I wasoldwas a stretch at just thirty-seven.

Still, I was acting like an eighty-nine-year-old stuck in his ways.

The truth was I was scared.

But I didn’t know how to tell her that, so instead, I blew out a long breath, shaking the doubts from my mind. I would have plenty of time to decipher them later. For now, the only mission I had was replacing that look of despondence on Sarah’s face with one of excitement, like the one she’d wore when we’d left my house.