Page 51 of What Did I Miss?

The Jessicas convulse along to the mechanical beats of the ‘Harlem Shake’. They used to look cool when they did it at the school disco. Now they look like toddlers having a tantrum.

Some club members are here too. Danny bops out of time with the music and Priscilla sways her arms in the air. Makayla wants to chat, but continues on her Beau-finding mission. Every second she can’t locate him, her thoughts darken.

What if Garry’s giving him the third degree?

What if Sharon showed him her moles and asked if they were cancerous?

Caught in a scuffle with Warren?

Bumped into Quinn?

The panic rises in her throat until Beau hooks his arm around her waist and draws her in. Nose to nose, her breathing slows.

‘There’s the birthday dodger. I thought I’d never find you.

I’m sorry this has blown out of proportion.

You know what Cece’s like – the excitement got the better of her.

The only thing she let me be in charge of was that.

’ Beau points to a birthday banner that has red letters painted like dripping blood.

‘It’s gruesome. I love it. Thank you.’

‘And I love you.’ He pulls her in closer, raising his eyebrows as he patiently waits for her to say it back.

With her thumb, she brushes his bicep, saying it in her own way. Surely he knows what it means.

Beside the bar, which is staffed with one frazzled twenty-something-year-old, Quinn waves both arms at Makayla. She untangles herself from Beau.

‘Who’s that?’ he asks with an I’m-ready-to-meet-your-family spark.

‘My aunt. I wouldn’t go near her if I were you. She’s not vaccinated.’ That’s false. ‘And has nits.’ Total lie. ‘Don’t even get me started on the horrendous breath.’ Why can’t I stop? ‘Go-go-go.’ Makayla shoos him away before Quinn makes her way over.

Quinn’s chopped off her locks and gone short with an undercut. She gets cooler by the day.

‘Who’s the guy?’ Quinn leans in for an awkward back pat.

‘Hm?’ Makayla squeaks. ‘No one special.’ She coughs to dislodge a lump expanding in her throat.

‘I didn’t realise you had so many friends.’

‘Neither did I.’ The freeloaders are multiplying.

‘I can’t believe Warren and your dad are in the same room and no one has thrown a punch yet.’

‘Give it time.’ Having them tossed out by security wouldn’t be the worst thing to happen.

Over the hive of activity, Quinn goes into detail about her overseas plans, which kick off in two weeks.

Even if Makayla could hear, she’s not listening.

All her attention is on Beau. He works the room, speaking to people he doesn’t know.

No doubt introducing himself as her boyfriend.

Her insides churn. She’s so close to beating Warren.

Even better, he’s here to witness the moment.

She’ll dangle the keys in his face and watch him break.

‘Guess who’s waiting for you in the car park?’ Quinn removes a key from her pocket. It’s secured to a Mustang Owners Club of New South Wales gold keyring. ‘Did you keep up your end of the bargain? Give yourself some time to be alone instead of being someone’s wife or girlfriend ?’

The way she spits out those labels makes Makayla feel dirty. Lying, even more so. Quinn is the only blood relative she likes.

‘Look me in the eye and tell me the truth, MK.’

Even if she confesses about Beau and explains what Warren did, Quinn will probably just give Gertie to her dad. That tyrant is just as bad, if not worse, than Warren. She can’t let that happen either.

‘I’m as single as they come.’ Makayla holds out her palm. She massages the key in her hand, waiting for a buzz of satisfaction. Instead, a wall of pressure builds higher.

Cece taps Makayla’s shoulder like a woodpecker. ‘Sorry to interrupt. Can I steal you for a minute?’ They step off to the side. ‘Your mum’s feeling lightheaded. Probably from her tumour. Poor thing. We’re going to start the speeches so she can go lie down at the motel soon.’

‘Speeches? Absolutely not! I need you to shut this event down now. Get everybody out or find yourself a new best friend.’

‘I can’t. Imogen made a cake and you should see it. Four tiers, not pink and—’

‘Stop, hostzilla! I don’t want a cake, or speeches, or my hypochondriac mother here. I didn’t ask for any of this.’ Makayla is shaking.

Cece’s face crumples, and Makayla feels a prickle of regret. The stress of the situation is getting to her.

‘You’ve had a couple of rough years.’ Cece’s tone is cautious. ‘I wanted to do something nice for you. I’m so sorry. Tell me what you want me to do.’

‘No, I’m sorry for yelling. I appreciate the gesture, but this isn’t how I imagined my birthday. Why don’t you cut the cake and hand out a slice to everyone as they’re leaving? The South Wing crew can stay back for dinner. Just my nearest and dearest, like you said outside. That’s what I want.’

Cece dashes away and a sliver of tension melts from Makayla’s body. This will be over soon.

Diamond appears before her with a noticeable bump on display. White dress, long and flowy. Add a flower crown and she’d be one of those goddesses on Instagram who do their maternity shoots in a lavender field.

‘I’d like to apologise for our insensitive pregnancy announcement.’ Diamond puts a gentle hand on top of Makayla’s. Smart move, she can’t pull away from a pregnant woman.

‘I didn’t know about what had happened between you and Warren. He didn’t tell me until after Trish’s anniversary night. I’m deeply sorry. I can’t even imagine …’ She clutches her belly and winces.

‘Are you okay?’ Makayla asks.

Diamond nods, clenching her lips into a perfect straight line.

‘Move back.’ Makayla thrusts the Jessicas out of the way.

The music cuts out mid-song. Lights dim.

Guests part like the sea, making way for Rongo and Imogen, carrying an enormous cake.

Candles flicker and sparklers crackle. The guy who’s spent most of the night with his hand down his pants takes the lead to sing ‘Happy Birthday’.

Makayla reaches for Diamond, but the crowd swallows her.

Where’s Cece? What happened to the plan?

The pressure to blow out the candles gets the better of her. She does it in one breath, and everyone claps like she’s a three-year-old.

‘Speech, speech, speech!’ Rongo chants.

Others join in.

‘Nooo.’ Makayla flounders backwards.

‘I’d like to say a few words.’ Beau slides up beside her.

‘Please don’t. I’m begging you.’ Fear bubbles in her chest.

‘Let your boyfriend speak,’ Cece says, unaware she’s let off a bomb.

‘Boyfriend?’ ripples through the crowd.

The Jessicas oooh . Jeffrey aaah s. Quinn pops up out of nowhere, Terminator style.

‘She means boy that’s a friend.’ Makayla forces a laugh, shrugging Beau’s arm off.

Silence ensues.

Her pulse thrums in her ears.

Beau’s proud smile disappears, seconds before he does.

Makayla pushes through the human barrier to follow him into an empty kitchen. The stench of cigarette smoke wafts in through the back door, where the staff are taking a smoko – literally.

‘What was that?’ Beau uses his Mr Shepherd voice.

‘It’s a long story.’ Makayla can’t lie to him anymore.

She sucks in air to get it out in one go.

‘My aunty is moving overseas, and she was going to give her Mustang to Warren unless I stayed single until my thirtieth. She thought it was for my own good – Quinn’s a little bitter about relationships, bad break-ups and stuff – and I know it’s a lot to ask, but I need you to pretend we’re not together until she leaves, then the car is mine, ours , for road trips. ’ She exhales.

Beau blinks slowly. ‘I’m sorry, what?’

‘M-y a-u-n-t—’

‘Not that part,’ he snaps. ‘Is this why you’ve been holding me at arm’s length? Because, last time I checked, you’re not into cars.’

‘I wasn’t, but there’s this club I joined and the members have kind of adopted me.

They’re nice, you’ll like them. My gran started the whole thing, so it’s only fair that I get the car, not Warren.

You know what he did to me. Why should he get a baby and a Mustang while I get nothing? That’s not fair.’

Beau drags his hands through his hair. ‘Fair? You get me. Aren’t I enough? This whole time I thought you were holding back because of grief, not revenge.’

‘Am I not allowed to be angry?’ Hot tears spill out.

‘Yes, but at some point, you need to work through it, otherwise it’ll consume you.

Can’t you see it’s hurting you? Hurting us?

’ He pinches his lips together, holding back tears.

When he opens his mouth, it trembles, along with his words.

‘On the beach, you promised you were really in this with me. It doesn’t feel like it. Do you even love me?’

Makayla swallows her surprise. ‘What’s that got to do with anything?’

He steps forward, forcing eye contact. ‘Do you?’

She puffs her chest. ‘I did that big speech at Rongo’s wedding.’

‘That’s not an answer, and you didn’t explicitly say it. You danced around it like you always do. I’ve said it to you every day since Bali and you haven’t said it back once. I need to hear you say it.’

‘I … I …’ Her tongue balloons. The words hang in the back of her throat. Why won’t they come out?

Beau’s posture gets floppy, as though his limbs are loose and there’s nothing left in the tank.

He stumbles, turns to escape, and bumps into a tower of pots soaking by the sink.

They crash to the ground, creating a soapy river that runs between them.

Right now, it might as well be an ocean. They’re more disconnected than ever.

‘Beau!’ Makayla stretches her fingers and grabs his shirt. ‘What about all that stuff you said about staying? That was a lie, wasn’t it? You know what? Go. You’re just like Warren.’

He stops, one foot through the back exit, face deflated like an old tyre.

‘Warren didn’t leave you, you just wouldn’t let him in.

Just like you won’t let me in. I’ve tried to help, but the only thing left to do is to get out of your way.

Enjoy your car. I hope it’s worth it.’ The door bangs a goodbye.

Makayla feels like her heart leaps out of her body and leaves with him. His words cut deep inside her wounds, and the sting is unbearable. She steps forward to chase after him when Diamond tumbles in.

‘Water,’ she cries. ‘Can someone please get me some water?’ Her manners are impeccable for someone so flushed.

Warren hovers behind her, unsteady on his feet. He’s taken full advantage of the open bar.

‘Let’s go to the hospital. Just to be sure.’ He slaps his cheeks to sober up.

‘No, I’m fine. Water will do.’ She grips onto an oven handle, knuckles whitening.

Makayla assesses the situation like a triage nurse; Diamond’s situation takes priority.

‘I know you’re worried about making a fuss. I’ve been in your shoes. Warren’s right though. It’s best to get checked at the hospital.’

Makayla removes a key from her pocket. It’s for the Mustang. The thing she’s been desperately fighting for has driven a wedge between her and Beau.

‘I’ll drive.’