Page 45 of What Did I Miss?

‘I think I see …’ Cece darts off. Who can blame her? For most, the mere sight of Agnes brings primary school bullying trauma to the surface.

Beau and Rongo stand at the bar, having a good old chinwag.

There are lots of back pats and fits of laughter.

They’re sporting neat twin haircuts for next week’s wedding.

Beau raises his beer at Makayla, and she’s not sure if it means ‘come over and join us’ or ‘hi, lady I used to occasionally bang but don’t want to anymore’.

The movement was too brief to decipher. Makayla stays put, just in case.

‘It’s a shame, isn’t it?’ Agnes begins. ‘That today’s his last day. He blew the interview. We were forced to employ someone else.’

Makayla’s heart feels like it drops out of her underwear. Agnes was on the hiring panel, but so were Jeffrey and some other council members who Beau could have easily charmed. He should have been safe.

‘Excuse me.’ Makayla pushes Agnes aside. The desire to be there for Beau as a friend overpowers her need to run and hide.

Rongo pulls her in for one of his bear hugs, bumping a few patrons. He’s like an excitable labrador with no self-awareness.

‘Can you give us a sec?’ Makayla asks Rongo.

‘Anything for you lovebirds.’ Rongo leaves them in the wake of an awkward shrug.

The reason she came over in the first place vanishes from her mind; something more important pushes its way to the front.

‘I have so much to say and if I don’t do it now, I’m not sure I ever will.’ Since Makayla started being honest with Beau and Cece, this whole talking thing has become easier. ‘You were right.’

Beau raises his eyebrows triumphantly.

‘I told Cece,’ she says.

‘And?’

‘She bought me a feelings journal,’ Makayla says, deadpan.

They try not to laugh. It’s the thought that counts.

‘I feel better, though. Lighter. Like I’m no longer carrying this around on my own. Thanks for the nudge.’

‘Happy to hear.’ He opens his mouth to say more.

‘I’m not finished. I’m also mad at you.’

‘For what?’ Laughter bounces out, like he finds her annoyance adorable.

‘Because you’ve been chasing me this whole term and since I opened up, it’s like you’re no longer interested in our’ – she looks over her shoulder – ‘casual arrangement.’

‘That’s correct. I’m done with that.’

She suspected so, but hearing it doesn’t make it any easier. The exit is only a few metres away. If she runs now, she’ll make it before she crumples in front of him.

Beau sticks a cool glass of cider into her hand, foiling her escape plan.

‘How do you feel about going to Rongo’s wedding together?’ he asks.

‘Yeah, sure. There are six of us staying at the villa, so I imagine we’ll get one of those maxi-vans. Cece said she knows a guy.’ Can’t he give her a minute to reconcile it’s over before bringing up transport?

‘I don’t mean logistically.’ He shakes his head like she’s a bit daft. ‘I mean you and me. Together , together.’

Confusion circles inside her mind. ‘I thought you said you’re done with all this?’

An influx of teachers elbow their way to the bar to take advantage of happy hour. Makayla and Beau get caught in the swell and they’re thrust into one another, chest to chest. They’re standing so close, his cool breath tickles her lips. She’d give anything to press her mouth against his.

‘Aren’t you exhausted from this dance we keep doing?’ He holds his drink in one hand and her waist with the other. ‘The uncertainty is killing me. I want to wake up every day knowing I can have more of you. More time. More everything.’

Makayla’s stunned into silence. No one has ever said anything like that to her before. Also, she’s clearly not experienced at this whole dating thing. She was sure this was a goodbye speech.

The thirsty crowd disperses, laden with house specials. Alcohol slops over the sides of their glasses, creating a sticky trail. No longer shielded by bodies, Makayla reluctantly steps back to avoid setting off the rumour mill.

‘What I need is for you to admit there’s something real here that you’re willing to go the distance for.

If you can’t do that, we go our separate ways and agree to give each other room to move on.

No more sneaking into bathrooms at school or getting hot and heavy at camp.

It all stops.’ Beau’s serious tone mirrors his face.

‘That won’t happen anyway, because you won’t be here. I’m sorry you didn’t get the job, I just heard.’ The change of topic should buy her some extra time to digest his proposal.

‘What are you talking about? I signed the contract today. I have a permanent position at Goldbrooke. Jeffrey informed the staff in his Friday wrap-up email.’

‘You open those?’ The last thing Makayla wants to do at the end of the week is read Jeffrey’s self-indulgent essays.

How could she fall for another one of Agnes’s cruel pranks? Then again, if she hadn’t, Makayla would have avoided Beau and this conversation would never have taken place.

‘You don’t have to answer now,’ Beau says, veering back to their relationship status. ‘I know you’ve got a lot going on. Why don’t you have a think about it and let me know when we’re in Bali?’

Rongo’s wedding is a week before her birthday. Doesn’t sound like much, but in a place like Goldbrooke, word gets around pretty fast. She’s come too far to let Warren have Gertie. Especially after that crap he pulled at Trish’s event.

While her aunt’s ultimatum is something Makayla will keep to herself, she takes a sip of Dutch courage to bring up the other elephant in the room.

‘I’m not the only one who needs to decide. If we’re going to get together, I need to be upfront about some things first. I know it’s ridiculous to have this conversation before even starting a potential relationship, but it’s too important not to.’

Beau’s face gives nothing away, but his deep swallow shows he knows where this is going.

‘I don’t want to get married ever again, and that’s not something I’m going to change my mind about.’

Beau’s steely gaze is hard to read. Is he mad? Sad? Both? Neither? It could very well be his resting thinking face.

‘Also’ – they inhale simultaneously, preparing for part two – ‘you’re probably wondering what my stance is about having kids.’

Beau dips his head, acknowledging both the question and her pain.

‘I’m not ready to put myself through that again. I might feel differently one day, but what if I don’t? To err on the side of caution, I want you to assume it’s a no. If that’s the case, can you be with someone who doesn’t want to have a family?’

Beau’s chest rises and falls several times before he responds. ‘It looks like we’ve both got a lot of thinking to do.’ He sighs, raising his schooner. ‘To Bali.’

‘To Bali.’