Page 32 of Waters that Drown Us

“Youbeggedfor this assignment, Emily, and I allowed it because I thought you might discover an innovative way to bringKonstantin to his knees. I believed you would see reason, that you would eventually understand that, if she was not working for her father and therefore complicit in his crimes and deserving of equal punishment, the best role that Alisa Zakharov can play is drawing her cretin of a father into the light so we can snuff him out.”

“So we sentence her to death, then?” I demand, watching even Bea’s eyes widen at my outburst. I can’t help it, the hypocrisy is too much. “These are the options you’ve come up with? We abandon this mission now and leave her to whatever sadistic fate Ilya and her father have in store for her. We torture her for information, and have to kill her or dump her, barely alive, on Konstantin’s doorstep. Or we use her as bait, and she ends up in his clutches anyway. She is hisvictimand we’re willing to sacrifice her for our own vengeance?"

“She could live,” Bea says, her voice a near whisper, crackling like she has poor reception. “We could use her as bait and successfully take down Konstantin and Ilya, and she could have a relatively normal life after.”

“That’s particularly rich, coming from you,” I seethe, turning my uncontrollable ire on Bea. “You spend your entire life maintaining the reputation of The Syndicate of Fate as protectors of victims, but Alice is the exception? She’s not a victim worth protecting?”

“I don’t want to hear another word from you about the reputation of The Syndicate,” Clara snaps, her tone cruel and final, more like her mother’s than it’s ever been. “We areweak, Emily. While you isolate yourself and try to save this one woman, every monster we’ve ever kept from gaining traction sees that we are no longer a threat. They believe that one of the few families willing to match their viciousness to balance the scales of justice can be attacked and nearly destroyed, and there won’t be consequences. That we cannot even protect our own,and so why should they fear us? A mission that should have been completely eventless nearly got Guinevere killed, because those who used to cower before us now think they too can light us on fire and we will burn without complaint.”

I glance at Gwen and Charlie’s screen again and realize there’s a bandage on Gwen’s shoulder, right where her husband’s hand is lying. She doesn’t show it on her face, but she must have been terrified. She’s capable, and Charlie is an excellent teacher who never would have let her go in unprepared, but she didn’t grow up in this life.

“If we forgo our moral compass, the one we will soon pledge our lives and the lives of our future children to uphold, then there is no Syndicate to fear. We are nothing if we sacrifice victims of violence for ourselves,” I say, knowing I’ve stepped far over the line. But this is about more than Alice. Clara is letting fear overcome her sense of duty.

“Enough,” she says, her eyes raging like she would kill me if I stood in front of her. She has the right, by Syndicate bylaws, for my insubordination. Treason is not taken lightly in this family. “You will abandon this mission and return home to Bari immediately. We will meet you there to handle this in person.”

“I have my research…” I start, ice running through my veins like it’s been injected straight into my heart. I cannot abandon Alice. I would rather abdicate here and now.

“If you think your PhD research is a priority for me right now, you have severely miscalculated my disposition,” Clara barks, and Deniz finally places his hand on her elbow. It’s subtle, and she’ll probably eviscerate him for it later, but it does calm the fire in her eyes by a degree.

“And what about Alice?” I ask, feeling bile rise in my throat, working through a thousand options of where we can run in the back of my mind. Trying to remember who owes me favors thatthey’d be willing to betray Clara for, and knowing that list is very, very short.

“Bea will bring her to Tokyo,” she directs. “And from there we’ll decide how to dangle her in front of Kons…”

“Wait,” I cut in, earning the harshest glare yet. “I’ll do it. I’ll get Alice to Japan.”

The tension between Clara and I feels like standing on the edge of a blade, cutting through us both at the same time.

I know why Clara is doing this. And I hate to admit it, but if it were anyone other than Alice, I might do the same. But sometimes people change us, and denying that is only rejecting the humanity that makes us better than the monsters we fight.

I’m playing my last card and buying myself time. She needs to believe my hysteria stems from my fear of consequences, of losing my place in our organization.

“You have been removed from this mission. You clearly cannot be trusted to independently handle this.” She’s not wrong. I can’t be trusted to do what she wants. But I need to buy myself time to figure out what to do, and if she calls me back to Bari, I’d have to leave now.

“Send someone else to monitor me. Send Bea,” I offer, hoping that my shot in the dark is correct. Bea cares about the unintended consequences of The Syndicate’s actions. She proved as much at Gwen and Charlie’s wedding, when we found out she’s been following up with the children of our eliminated enemies for over a decade. I might be able to convince her of my side of this. “I understand I need to prove my loyalty to you, to The Syndicate. We have been confidants since we were girls, and I’m asking you to allow me to finish what I’ve started. I disagree with your method of handling this, but I’m not the Matriarch, and my fealty is and will always be to our mission. Please, Clara. Let me prove it.”

One day I will feel bad for manipulating her like this, for using our relationship as a bargaining chip. But right now, I don’t have time for that kind of moral quandary. Hopefully I can convince Bea that Alice is better used as an ally than bait, and I’ll have an opportunity to redeem myself with my closest cousin. But until then, I have to do this.

The family is silent, not a single person breathing as Clara stares me down through the screen. I allow the desperation I feel to bleed through every pore, hoping she reads it as fear of defying her and our family, and not that for Alice’s life.

Deniz’s fingers squeeze her elbow, so subtly one could mistake it for a glitch in the screen.

“Let me make something perfectly clear,” Clara says, her voice measured and more terrifying than it’s ever sounded. I’ve never been on the receiving end of Lucia’s wrath, but I know from stories about Gia’s stumbles that it isn’t a pleasant place to be. I see the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. “If you defy us, if you betray our trust, if you prioritizeanythingover the safety of this family and the continuation of our mission, you will become an enemy of The Syndicate of Fate. Do not delude yourself into believing any of us will show you mercy because of our love for you. Compromising our ability to destroy Konstantin, in any way, shape, or form, will result in your swift and just execution.”

She doesn’t wait for me to respond. The screen goes black, and the chill that crawls through me solidifies, one blood vessel freezing over at a time.

A few heartbeats later, a text from Bea lights up on my screen. Her flight information. She’ll land in Portland in two days, and I imagine she’ll drive straight here.

I have two days to figure out how the hell to fix this. And I’m not sure if a thousand days would be enough time.

Chapter 15

Alice

Ididn’t see Emily today.

She wasn’t waiting for me when I got off my whale watching tour. Her car was gone from the motel parking lot when I biked there, and no one answered the door to her room when I knocked.

Which is fine.