Page 29

The last few days with Vegas have been amazing. He’s such a tough nut on the outside but a marshmallow on the inside. Where I’m concerned, he’s all squishy and protective. I love living with him, and all my stuff is moved in. There’s evidence of me in his house and our lives, which makes me crazy happy.

I’m not going back to work until after the rally next week. Carl seems to be doing better and sounds more upbeat. He’s had the first chemo session, and his pain is better controlled now. Overall, everything is great.

I’m in town today to get some groceries since I want to cook Vegas a special meal tonight. I’m just driving into the parking lot as my phone rings, and I let it go to voicemail. Once I’m parked, I grab it and see it was Vegas. My voicemail icon is blinking, so I dial in.

“You have two new messages,” the voicemail announces. I listen to the first message. It’s from Vegas, telling me he’s going on a club run but will be back later tonight. “Love you, princess” finishes his message, making me feel all fuzzy, warm, and loved. Then, I move to the second message.

The date and time stamp are from the night Karen put me in the hospital. My blood turns to ice instantly as I hear the voice.

“Well, well, well, princess, I hear you’re going to the hospital. Gotta be careful with who you piss off. You never know what might happen.”

I can actually hear Rusty sneering. I feel sick and open the door to vomit in the parking lot. All thoughts of grocery shopping forgotten, I turn around and drive straight to the clubhouse, shaking like a leaf in a stiff breeze as I walk inside. Not knowing what to do, I go to Vegas’s old room, lie on the bed, which still smells of him, and call Ally.

Within half an hour, Ally is sitting on the bed next to me, listening to the message.

“That rat bastard,” she fumes. “Ashley, you have to tell Raven. This is going too far. And who would tattle to him? As far as I know, he’s visiting Ellie?”

“I can’t tell my brother, Ally.” I let out a deep sigh. “He’d kill him. I can’t lose another member of my family,” I howl, nearly hysterical.

Ally rolls her eyes hard but wraps me in a hug, comforting me. God, I must seem like an emotional wreck, but my fear of losing Raven is just too substantial. “I promise, I’ll tell Vegas though, as soon as he gets back.”

I try to convince Ally to let go of me coming clean to Jamie. She looks at me critically and demands, “Either you do it or I will. Talk to Vegas first, but you have to tell Raven. This is creepy shit, and he sounds unhinged.”

Deep down, I know she’s right, but it’s difficult to put years of fear to the side and face your demon. Even more so when your demon usually is around the corner and frequently in sight.

I drive home and nervously wait for Vegas to return, scrubbing the entire house from one end to the other to keep myself busy. Cleaning helps me stay calm.

It’s dark by the time Vegas returns. I last checked my phone—for the millionth time—around ten p.m., but that was a while ago, so I guess it’s late. I wait for him to walk in and kiss me as he usually does. But when he does, he looks at me, takes me in, and freezes in place.

“What’s going on, princess?” His voice is full of concern.

“Listen to this,” I reply and put Rusty’s message on speaker. I watch as Vegas’s face goes grim and his eyes grow colder and harder by the second. He immediately dials someone on his phone.

“Ferret, did you trace the phone call from Rusty? Right. Thanks, man. We just listened to a voicemail on Ashley’s phone. I’ll play it for you.” He picks up my phone and sets the message to play again on speaker while holding the microphone end of his phone against the speaker. He picks up his phone again, as I sit shivering. I can’t deal with listening to this again.

“Yeah, I agree, it’s time to take this to Raven. This is just too much. It sounds as if he’s threatening Ashley. That shit must stop. Yeah, I spoke to Slender and Pen before, not about this message though. I just got in. Okay, do what you do best, and I’ll see you tomorrow.” He closes his phone and looks at me.

“Ashley, you gotta tell Raven. He needs to know.” His voice is stern when he speaks to me, but I shake my head. Denial is a wonderful thing, and I’d like to keep my comfort blanket a little while longer.

“Okay, let me give you some context.” Vegas stands and starts pacing. “Rusty tried to call you while you were out cold in the hospital. I had your phone in my pocket, as you know, and didn’t answer the calls. I wish I had now. I showed the calls to Ferret on Sunday, and he traced the number. Rusty was still with Ellie. His phone pinged from a cell tower near her house.” He runs his hand through his hair, showing how agitated he is.

“He obviously knows you were in the hospital and why. The question is, how? The only people who knew were Karen and Neil. How would he know even before we knew? There’s only one plausible answer. Karen. She must be in cahoots with him.” Vegas stops pacing as he sees me blanch.

“That bitch,” I blurt out. I don’t think I’ve ever been this angry before. Anger is good. It trumps being an emotional wreck.

“Okay, let’s call Jamie,” I agree. Vegas lets out the relieved breath he was holding as he dials Raven and puts the phone on speaker.

“Vegas, what can I do for you?” My brother’s growly voice comes through the speaker, and I can hear female giggling in the background. Oops, looks like we’ve disturbed him.

“Raven, I need you to come over to the house. Ashley has something important she needs to tell you. Before you ask, no, it can’t wait. Bring Slender and Ferret with you,” Vegas tells him.

“Shit, is Ash okay?” Jamie asks. “Ebony, get dressed and get out,” he orders, and the giggles stop. Vegas cringes.

“Physically, she’s fine. Emotionally, not so much. Just get over here.” The phone goes dead as Jamie disconnects. Vegas disarms the alarm and opens the gate.

Before long, the growl of several Harleys reaches us way before we can see the headlights. Vegas stands in the doorway, greeting his brothers and showing them into the lounge, where I sit with a glass of whiskey in my trembling hands.

“Go on, sweetheart, it’ll be okay,” Vegas encourages me, his inquisitive eyes never leaving mine. It takes me a moment to compose myself.

Here goes nothing. “Rusty is threatening me and has done so for years.” I watch Jamie’s jaw drop, and Slender looks at his hands. He obviously knew already.

“What are you saying, Ashley?” he asks in a stunned voice.

“It all started before Mom died. I found them, Jamie. Mom and Rusty, in bed together,” I tell my brother.

Jamie jumps up and starts pacing. “What the fuck?” he roars, the fury he struggles to contain clearly evident.

Slender interjects. “Sit the fuck down, man, and let her finish.”

I carry on and tell him everything. About the constant threats, about manhandling me as a child, about the sneering . . . about everything. Once I get to the incident at the clubhouse party, Vegas takes over and fills him in on the rest.

“You!” Jamie, apoplectic with rage, grabs hold of Vegas’s cut. “You kept this from me!”

“Stop it, Jamie,” I scream at my brother. “Just stop and listen to me. It wasn’t his decision, it was mine. It’s my life. I knew how you’d react, which is exactly why I didn’t tell you.” I’m shaking with fury. “You can be such a dickhead at times. Rusty is your VP, and he was Dad’s VP. Would you have even believed me?” Shock blankets his face.

“You think I would have doubted you? Jesus, Ashley, you were a kid, my little sister to protect and care for. Of course, I would have believed you.” He lets go of Vegas and rips me from the sofa, cradling me into his arms. I can feel wetness on my cheeks and realize my brother is struggling, tears running down his face.

“Oh god, I’m so sorry, Ashley, for not noticing, for not even considering there was something wrong. I’m such a blind asshole, and a shit brother to boot. I’ll kill him.”

I sigh. “And that’s another reason I didn’t tell you. So much blood has flown in the past. I cannot lose you too. The risk of you ending up in the cell next to Dad is too high. It’s a price I’m not willing to pay.” I look at him, my eyes brimming with unshed tears.

Lots of discussions follow, which I’m only listening to with half an ear. Vegas puts some food in front of me, and I eat but I have no clue what I had. Eventually, he pulls me into his side and leads me to the bedroom.

“Get into bed, honey. You’re dead on your feet,” he murmurs against my hair as he gently places a kiss on top of my head. “I won’t be long,” he promises.

I’m restless, tossing and turning, but finally drift off to sleep. I half awaken when Vegas joins me in bed and snuggles into his warm body, putting my head on his chest and my arm over his abs before I drop back to sleep.

???

“Ashley, come on, honey, wake up. We have to go.” Vegas’s urgent voice filters through to me. I slowly open my eyes to the bedside light turning on and Vegas standing next to the bed, fully dressed, and voices are coming from the other room. I look at my phone and see it’s three-thirty a.m.

“Go where?” I ask, still half asleep.

“To the hospital,” Vegas responds. I’m suddenly wide awake as ice-cold dread washes through me. Jumping out of bed, I hurry into my clothes from last night and shove my boots on while walking into the kitchen, Vegas on my heels. Discovering Jamie sitting there, head in his hands, I know immediately. He looks up at me, devastation in his eyes.

“Chloe called half an hour ago. Flakey is bleeding again and refusing to go into surgery,” he chokes out. My jacket is in one hand and Vegas’s hand is in the other, holding tight as we pile into the truck. Vegas breaks every speed limit there is until we get to the hospital. Jamie, Mom, Pen, Vegas, and I rush up to Carl’s floor. Chloe is just leaving his room, and she looks at us with sorrow in her eyes.

“He’s had medication to keep him calm and a lot of painkillers. Carl is adamantly refusing to go into surgery. He’s asked to see you all, so go and be with him. I don’t think he’ll be long.” She turns and walks very slowly down the corridor, her shoulders shaking, feet dragging, wiping her face.

Mom opens the door to the room and the metallic scent of blood hits and nausea overwhelms me. I cling to Jamie and Vegas, who are keeping me between them. To see Carl is a shock. He’s a waxy, sallow color. His lips are white and his breathing is labored.

He turns his head toward us. Mom walks up to his bed, leans over him, and hugs and kisses his cheek. “What are you doing, Carl? I’m not ready to say goodbye to you yet,” she tells him, her voice cracking, betraying her pain.

“I’m sorry, Mom, I don’t want to either, but I have to.” He closes his eyes and tears roll down his face.

“But what about a donor? Can’t you hold on for that?” Jamie steps into Carl’s line of sight, looking down on him.

“No-go, brother. No match has been found, and the chemo has wiped my last reserves,” Carl almost whispers, interrupted by coughing. We can see he’s getting weaker by the minute. He looks around at his brothers, holds out his hands to them, and they clasp them. “It was a pleasure to ride with and know you all. I hope I’ll see you on the other side. Keep the shiny side up for me, to not make it too soon.” His voice is quieter, slowly failing him. The guys squeeze his hands and gently back slap him.

“Godspeed, brother. We’ll see you on the other side,” they murmur, their voices monotone and broken.

The men leave to get some more chairs so they can stay with us. Mom pulls up a chair to sit on his right, holding one hand, and I’m on his left, holding the other. Carl has been quiet for a few minutes. Suddenly, he turns his head toward me and murmurs, “It’s time, Ashley. You promised me no interventions. Time to let me go. I love you, little sis. Always have and always will.”

Tears stream down my face. “I know. I love you too, always and forever, big brother. I’ll let you go when I need to, but I’m staying with you. I won’t leave you alone in this.” I sob, and Carl smiles at me softly. I make out a faint nod as he closes his eyes and doesn’t open them again. He takes his last breath a few minutes later, with Mom and me holding his hands and stroking his hair, his brothers by his side.