Page 14

How did I think that double rum and cokes were a good idea? Ever? My head is pounding as though a road crew is using a pneumatic drill right between my eyes. God, I hate hangovers. That’s why I rarely drink. Must have had about three pints of water and two Ibuprofen, but it is not letting up. At least the queasiness lessened after breakfast. I hope my shift’s gonna be a quiet one, or else I might not survive. I sigh as I park outside the hospital. On my Carl supply trip, I got him his toothpaste, some sweets, fruit, and the newest American Iron mag. That should entertain him for a while.

I make my way to his room, and as I open the door, I spot Elijah and Greg slouching on chairs in the corner, playing games on their phones. Carl is sleeping. I tiptoe over to him, give the other two a small finger wave, and lean over Carl to kiss his cheek. He opens his eyes slowly.

“Hey princess, how are you?” he sounds tired.

“I’m fine, lazy bum. What are you up to? Other than annoying the staff and lazing about in bed?” I ask with a lighthearted wink I don’t really feel.

“Oh, you know, keeping everyone on their toes.” His smile does not reach his eyes. I turn to Elijah and Greg.

“Hey boys, I have an hour to spare, so why don’t you go get some food and coffee? Bring me one back while you’re at it. I’ll keep an eye on this one.” I put my sunniest smile on, winking at them.

“Thanks Ashley, that would be great. We’ve been here since six am, so we could do with a break.” groans Eli, as he stretches his long legs. They both nod at us as they make their way out the door.

“So,” I say to Carl, looking him in the eye, “how are you really? Don’t even try to fool me.” I haven’t asked about his tests.

“I feel like I have been run over by a dumper truck, honey. Had my tests this morning, fuck that hurt, and afterwards I felt just so tired, like I’d gone ten rounds with Ali.” I grip his hand and give it a squeeze, just letting him know I’m here for him, sending him a bit of strength.

“When will you get the result?” I quietly ask.

“Should be sometime today or tomorrow, so the doctor said.” He sighs. “Ashley, please, I don’t want anyone to know just yet. Even if it is bad news, there is nothing anyone can do to make me better. Not the brothers, anyway. I don’t want to cause worry and upset unless it is absolutely necessary,” he pleads with me. This whole keeping secrets doesn’t sit well with me. But I nod, as I feel I must respect his wishes. It is his story to tell, not mine.

“So, come on, give me the dirt. Greg mentioned you went to Stormy’s and got drunk?” Carl smirks at me. Oh my god, news travels fast. Have they got nothing else to gossip about?

“Just a little, Carl. I was only tipsy, not full out blind drunk. I had a falling out with Sarah and got frustrated. So, I went to Stormy’s. Karen was her usual pleasant self, not . Just sat with Penny, Dougal, and Vegas, and Vegas saw me home.” He looks at me and starts grinning.

“Ash, your flush is equal to Pinocchio’s nose. There’s more to this, isn’t there?” He smirks.

Oh, what the hell, I might as well tell him the whole sorry saga. He’s too astute to be happy with half-truths. I pull up a chair and spill my guts, telling him about my fight with Sarah, my night out, and yes, about the kiss, the ride home, the messages, everything.

When I’m finished, I lay my head on the side of his bed and wait. I can’t look him in the eye. I’m so embarrassed. The whole gravity of the situation with Vegas just hit me. Not being able to shake his image out of my head since last night hasn’t helped the situation. And that scares me. I don’t usually feel a connection with anyone from the male species. Carl being the exception, as he feels more like my brother from another mother. I don’t look at him in that way.

Carl is quiet and just listens. I’m anxiously waiting for a reaction and shuffle nervously in my seat.

“Well, shit, you got yourself in a right old mess there,” he says, looking at me with something akin to sympathy. I’d hate to think of it as pity. “Where Sarah is concerned—” He stops mid-sentence as the door opens and a nurse comes in with a blood pressure monitor and other paraphernalia. She smiles at me and introduces herself.

“Hi, I’m Chloe, this misery guts’s nurse.” I return the smile.

“I’m Ashley, his sister, not by blood but by choice. Is he giving you trouble, Chloe?” I wink at her.

“Nothing I can’t handle,” she grins, “but his pickup lines are the worst.” She laughs at him. I cover my mouth with my hand to suppress a laugh. Suddenly, Carl looks very grumpy.

“She’s immune to my charms, Ash. I don’t even get an extra pudding out of that woman. She’s as mean as they come,” he whines.

“Do I need to call the orderly? Or are you going to let me take your temperature this time around?” Chloe asks him with an innocent smile.

“You tried four hours ago, and the answer is still no,” he grumps.

“Carl, stop being so stubborn, or I’ll get the orderly myself to hold you down.” I mock growl at him, trying hard to hide my amusement. He sighs, defeatedly.

“Okay, okay, just get on with it.” His mood has improved none, and his petulant stares are not making it easier to contain my laughter.

“Okay then,” Chloe says with a wink in my direction, “roll over and pull your pants down. I’ll just get the K-Y jelly.” She waves an under-the-tongue thermometer at him.

At that point, I have to turn and look out of the window. My shoulders are shaking with muffled laughter that I try to disguise with a cough.

“I’ll give you two some privacy.” I can’t help the small snort that escapes.

“No way, no how are you getting anywhere near my perky ass with that thing.” Carl is almost screeching. “If you think you’re coming anywhere near me with that, you can fuck right off.”

“Aw, but dear, you offered to show me your enormous balls yesterday. Now that I want to see them, you’re clenching. I’m so disappointed,” Chloe mocks him mercilessly.

“Oh, Carl, you didn’t. I’m so disappointed with you. I thought we’d agreed you’d stop exposing yourself. We’ve been on about this since you were fourteen. I’d thought you’d gotten over it.” I put my best acting skills to use, turn to face Carl and Chloe and shake my head at him with sad doggy eyes.

“What the hell?” Carl shouts. Chloe, by this time, is bent over laughing, hardly able to breathe, and I finally collapse, roaring with laughter.

“Relax,” Chloe chuckles, “your pert little hiney is all safe. Now, open your mouth and let me take your damn temperature.” She winks at him. He points his finger first at me, giving me an evil look that tells me, you just wait, I’ll get you back for that, then at Chloe and like the petulant child we drove him to be, he opens his mouth, then closes it around the thermometer.

“Not fair,” he yammers, which does nothing to stop us giggling. Chloe completes the rest of her tasks, takes his blood pressure and charts everything. She turns to me.

“If he wasn’t such a big baby, he’d be quite a nice guy, I reckon.” She smirks.

“Yup, that’s Carl for you. Why do you think he’s called Flakey?” I chuckle.

“They couldn’t get away with ‘baby’?” Chloe asks with mischief in her eyes. I choke down my giggles.

“Something like that.” She finally takes the thermometer.

“A little elevated, but you’ll live. I’ll bring your meds in a minute and get your antibiotic drip going.” She nods at Carl seriously.

“Did they tell you the results can take twenty-four to forty-eight hours to come through?” Carl nods. “On that note, can you please roll onto your side so I can check the dressing and wound?” Carl turns over, huffing. “Now, look, I know you’re nervous, and this is a shitty situation for you,” Chloe says as she inspects his back with gentle hands and changes the dressing, “but all joking aside, if there’s anything on your mind and you need to talk, I’ve got broad shoulders, Carl, and I’m always here to listen. I might not be able to change the situation, but I can be here for you as a listening ear. Sometimes offloading is the best medicine.” Chloe’s tone has been as gentle and empathetic as her hands have been. I can’t see Carl’s face, but I notice him taking a deep breath.

“Thanks, Chloe, I appreciate it, but I’m okay for now.”

His voice sounds hoarse and rough, so we know he’s not fine at all.

“Okay, I’m finished. I’ll see you again in four hours then.” Chloe winks as she steps back and waits for Carl to turn back over.

“Don’t hurry on my account,” he scoffs at her. His tone is sarcastic, but his eyes show a gratefulness to Chloe that I can appreciate, and I’m sure she does too. She turns toward me.

“I like you Ashley, you’re funny,” she grins at me.

“Do you fancy meeting up for coffee? Carl told me you work in care for disabled children?” I nod.

“Yes, I do indeed. I’m a care worker and yes, I would love to meet for coffee if we are both off,” I reply. She scribbles something onto the pad she produced out of her uniform pocket.

“Here’s my number. Give me a call or text later and we can arrange something.”

“Sure.” I nod. Carl looks from one to the other, slaps his own forehead, and groans.

“God help us.” We both giggle and Chloe leaves, closing the door quietly.

“She’s nice,” I tell Carl.

“I’m not sure whether I’d agree,” he grumbles. “She has it out for me.” I shake my head at him.

“And your grumpy moods and inappropriate flirting have nothing to do with that, I guess?” I roll my eyes so hard, I’m sure they’ll get stuck at the top of my head and get an inside look at my brain. Honestly, I love Carl with all my heart, but sometimes he can be a real ass, and a childish one at that. Just then, there is a knock on the door. Greg and Elijah are back. Looking at my watch, I jump up. Damn it, I have to hurry so I won’t be late. Placing a kiss on Carl’s cheek, I mumble a hasty goodbye and make a run for my car.

???

Racing into handover like a bat out of hell, I throw myself on a chair. Sarah giving me the stink eye doesn’t make me feel any better. I’ll have to deal with that later. Being thoroughly filled in about all the weekends dramas with the youngsters, I’m about to get up when the manager walks in.

“We have a problem. A big one!” I look at him, stunned. What on earth can be so wrong that he comes in this early on a Monday morning? “We just had an inspection and not only has one of our bathrooms been condemned, but they revoked our transport permit as the minibus lift failed inspection. We have enough money to fix either the shower or the minibus. So, for now, I’ll have to put the shower first. Until we manage to save the money to either fix or replace the Minibus, there will be only taxi or public transport travel to urgent appointments. I’m sorry, guys.” We all stare at him in shock, and murmurs break out across the room as he walks out the door.

“That is just not possible!” Sarah throws into the room. “Can you imagine what would happen if we got to use the bus with the kids? Imagine Franklin, he wouldn’t be able to, neither would be most of the others!” She’s het up now, and on a roll. “Something has to be done!” she fumes.

“But what? Unless you have a hundred k, to spare, lying around in your underwear drawer, that you could donate, it ain’t gonna happen, Sarah!” James throws at her. He works shifts on the other floor.

“Bake sale?” Gina’s sarcasm has no bounds today.

“We should all have a think about it. Maybe we could do something community orientated with the kids that are not as bad? Raise our profile?” I throw in quietly.

“Not a bad,” Gina pipes up.

“We should all come up with some names of kids that could do something like that and what they’d do for their community. I volunteer to coordinate. I’ll leave a box on each floor, put your ideas on paper, I’ll collect at the end of the week, and James can help me sort through. That okay, James?”

“Sure, I’m on board with this. Why not? We have never done anything like this, and as we are not fully state funded, I think it’s about time we did some fundraising.”

That seems settled then. It appears we have all been volunteered to fundraise by the self-appointed committee. I grin to myself. It’s great to see that everyone is so invested in this place and the children under our care. Pride for the place I work for and all of us working here floods me. We really try to do our best.

“I’m still pissed at you!” Sarah hisses at me as we walk out of the staff room and onto the floor.

“I know, Sarah, I know. I’m so sorry.” Tears are burning in my eyes, and I know she can see it. “Please Sarah, let me explain. You are my best friend and I love you. I would never intentionally do anything to upset or hurt you and Leo, and I cannot tell you enough how sorry I am.” She looks at me, doubt in her eyes.

“Let’s get on with the job and we’ll talk during afternoon break.”

Sarah’s face clearly conveys how conflicted she is, her anger warring with her loyalty and curiosity. She knows I would never do anything dangerous or anything that would affect her and Leo.

The afternoon drags. I’ve had a thought, so I text Jamie.

Me: Hey, bro, can I pick your brains on something?

Jamie: I hate it when you call me bro.

Me: Rather I’d call you stink face? ??

Jamie: You’re evil. That only happened the once, and I was a kid! Stop going on about it! ?

Me: Okay, Jamie, brother dear. I’ll let bygones be bygones (for now) ??

Jamie: What do you want, anyway? I thought you were at work.

Me: I’m just taking a quick five-minute break. Are you still wanting to raise the club profile? Like to doing stuff for charity?

Jamie: Haven’t had time to really think about it for the last week or two, club business, but yes, of course we are. Why are you asking?

Me: The home has a problem raising money for minibus repairs. I wonder if the club could help with fundraising.

Jamie: Not a bad idea, I’ll bring it to the table at church this week. Let you know after.

Me: KK, no problem, STYL xxx

Jamie: Laters, sis xxx

As I shove my cell in my pocket, Sarah comes in with two cups of coffee. I breathe a sigh of relief. At least she seems to be willing to listen. She places a cup in front of me and sits opposite at the small table.

“Go on then, let’s hear your pathetic excuses.” Sarcasm is an art form for Sarah. She has been fighting for herself and Leo for so long, she becomes a lioness where Leo is concerned and has no qualms about fighting like one for him. She shows no mercy where he’s concerned, and I have often pitied those who went up against that amazing duo. Now I’m the one on the receiving end of her ire.

I take a deep breath, collecting my thoughts, not sure where to start.

“Sarah, look, I’m so sorry,” I repeat myself. “It was a bad day. I went to Ally’s and had a panic attack. It took some time to settle, then I went to see Carl and overheard things I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry, I cannot tell you the details. Carl made me promise to keep it to myself. But I can tell you he’s in trouble. He’s like my brother from another mother. I was shocked and unsettled, ran out on him screaming. Then went back and made up with him. Unfortunately, I took my time with it. That’s what made me late. I’m so sorry. I’ll tell you exactly what happened when Carl is ready to tell, but it is his story to tell, not mine. Please understand that I can’t tell you any more now. You’re my best girlfriend, Sarah. I love you, and I love Leo, you know that. I look at Leo as my nephew. I’d never do anything to put him in a difficult position, nor would I knowingly upset or hurt you. I’m so grateful that you’re my friend!” I blubber, tears running freely down my face. Her and Ally are the only people I can trust. I cannot lose Sarah. I just can’t! I know I’m getting too emotional and can feel panic rising. Grounding myself, I look around the room and concentrate on five items I can see, taking deep breaths, then five things I can hear, taking deep breaths and when I’ve calmed a little, Sarah speaks. She knows the signs of my panic attacks only too well and helped me learn grounding techniques in the first place. So, she knows what I’m doing.

“Okay, it sounds a bit strange that you can’t give me details, but I know how close you are to Carl, and I know how you get with your temper, so I believe you had to go back and make up with him. I will accept that you cannot give me details for now, and I know you’d never hurt either of us. But I have to ask, do you have the faintest idea how much trouble you being late caused? My mother was furious. Leo was in a corner rocking when I got there and was beside himself. It took over an hour to get him out of his catatonic state.

“My mother’s language left nothing to the imagination, and I doubt very much that she will ever look after Leo again. Nor would I let her. Leo apparently used her living room as a toilet, pooping on the floor. He’s not done anything like that in years, so it shows how distressed he was at the time. I don’t know what went on while he was there, but I wouldn’t want to put him through that again.

“So, you owe me, sister. You will be on babysitting duty until you’re old and gray, and you better move into a bigger place, or convert Nathan’s bedroom into one for Leo, because you will be his caregiver overnight. Do you get me?” Her serious eyes hold mine.

“I get you, Sarah. I’m so sorry. I feel awful that Leo had to go through all that.” Tears continue to burn at the back of my eyes.

“Now then, wipe your snotty nose and, for God’s sake, and stop blubbering. You look a mess.” Grinning, Sarah hands me some tissues. They’re crumpled and have probably spit washed Leo’s face, but at this precise moment, I don’t care. I take the tissues, stand up and hug my best friend tight. I know I’m forgiven. “Love you, Ash, even though you’re a pain in my ass.”

“Love you too, Sarah, and Leo,” I return, squeezing her hard.

“You can start showing that by not squeezing me to death,” Sarah coughs out, and I immediately let her go. I’m so relieved. “Back to work now, bitch,” Sarah orders, pointing her finger at me. “Your break was over thirty minutes ago, and I almost missed mine. Now, go away and do something productive, snotty nose.” She laughs and wags her finger at me.

The next few hours fly by, and all is good in the land of Sarah and Ashley. As we walk out of the building after our shifts, I grab her arm. I almost forgot!

“Sarah, Dougal asked me for your phone number. I told him I wouldn’t give it out unless you okay it. He mentioned something about club business, so I have no idea what he wants. Club business means it’s something he can’t tell me anything about and will only speak to club members and people it directly concerns. The club likes to keep nonmembers out of their business. It gives plausible deniability,” I explain. Sarah looks at me with eyes as big as saucers.

“What the heck can he want? I don’t know about any club business, nor do I want to. Though I have to say, he’s hot.” She winks at me. “So, yes, by all means, give him my number. He’s quite a dish. I could see myself having Dougal therapy while you spend the night with Leo.” I gasp in mock outrage.

“You wouldn’t.” Sarah laughs at my performance and giggles.

“Oh, but yes, I so would. He’s hot, and I need fun and lubrication of my shriveled and dried up lady parts.” I shudder in mock disgust.

“Stop! Stop! Hell to the no, I don’t want to hear this! Lalalalalalala!” I stick my fingers in my ears, walking away from her. I can hear her laughter ringing through the parking lot. That’s way too much information. Just no . . . way, way too much information was definitely overshared. I quickly unlock my car while Sarah is still bent over laughing, hands on her thighs. Is that a tear she has in her eye? Time to get out of here and go home. I open my phone and send Dougal the number. Let them get on with it.