Page 24 of Vegas (Stormy Souls MC #1)

I’m slouched on Vegas’s sofa, considering what he asked me. If he really wants us to work, we need to talk.

About him, me, us, all the stuff that is festering away in the background. I know as his old lady, I’ll be expected to attend club functions, parties, and rallies. But I’m hesitant. Rusty isn’t going to enjoy seeing me around regularly. I think I need to come clean and explain why I’ll struggle with that. If we’re ever going to work, honesty is the only way forward. If he can’t deal with my past, he isn’t worth my efforts, or so I keep telling myself.

“Err . . . babe . . . would you mind if we just sat and talked?” I can hardly look at him.

“Sure,” he agrees, “whatever you want to do, princess, is fine by me.” He leans over and kisses me deeply. “I’ve waited all day to do that,” he groans, and I giggle. He kissed me like a starving man even though it hadn’t been that long.

At the chiming of the security system, it’s clear the pizza is arriving, so Vegas lets the delivery driver in, tips him, and plonks the pizzas on the table. I swallow hard, thinking about what I have to do, and I instantly lose most of my appetite. My anxiety is running rampant.

“Babe, do you mind re-setting the alarm?” My tone demonstrates my nerves. Vegas just looks at me with raised eyebrows but goes back and does as I ask. We spend the next ten minutes with Vegas eating and me nibbling on a slice of pizza. Until Vegas takes it out of my hand, takes the box and plates into the kitchen, and sits opposite me, leaning forward, elbows on his knees, and looking at me intensely.

“Okay, Ashley, that’s enough. You obviously have an issue or problem or whatever, so just spit it out so we can have our dinner afterwards. You clearly aren’t in the mood for food, and nervousness is just radiating off you. I’m not playing silly games here. Whatever your problem is, I promise I’ll listen and try not to interrupt. You’re important to me, Ashley. You’re as good as my old lady. Please trust that I will listen and not judge,” he states, his voice soothing, and calming me some.

I look into his eyes and see nothing but curiosity and concern.

Taking a deep breath, I know it is now or never, but I’m also painfully aware that this will have serious consequences. I’m not sure if I can stop Vegas from doing what he’ll feel he ought to. His hand is grabbing hold of my restless one and his thumb is soothingly stroking the back of my hand.

“It all started many years ago,” I begin. “It was during the worst times of the club, the most violent and heinous times. Stone was in charge, and Raven was a pretty blinded member at the time. I was the club princess and expected to toe the line at every turn, Told what to do, what to think, how to act. I was only young, and my mother was still alive but drinking heavily, so I was often left with Nathan.

“She was drunk about every night, and if there was to be warm dinner, I cooked it. I was ten years old, and Nathan was only three. I can’t remember my mom ever not drinking, but Raven said she only started this downward spiral after I was born. So, whether it was me driving her into being an alcoholic, I don’t know, but I wrestled with that guilty feeling for years.”

“Ashley—” Vegas starts to interrupt, but I hold my hand up to stop him.

If I don’t get it all out in one go, I won’t at all. It will be bad enough to see the disgusted look on his face when I’ve finished. I can’t bear to think that I could lose him through things long gone in the past, but better now than later. After a deep, shuddering breath, I continue.

“Please wait, Vince, and let me get this all out. It’s difficult enough as it is.” He nods, gets up, and walks out, returning a few seconds later with a glass of water and a glass of amber liquid.

“Here, drink this. It might help with the nerves.” I grab the glass and tip it back in one go, feeling the warmth and sweet burn of whiskey running down my throat and into my stomach. It is comforting, like a hug. I place the water on the table and continue.

“Anyway, so times were not the easiest, and I had a lot of responsibilities before I even hit puberty. I managed as well as any ten-year-old could. One afternoon, when I got back from school and picked up Nathan from Mom, who tried to help as much as she could, I walked in and heard strange noises. As any ten-year-old would, I went to investigate, and that’s when I found them. My mother and Rusty were in bed together, going at it.

“Mom saw me, shooed me away with her hand, so I turned and ran into my room, keeping Nathan close. What I saw frightened me. Even then, I knew the person my dad trusted should not be touching my mother. I knew Stone would go crazy if he knew. He’d likely shoot both of them.”

“I sat and cowered until I heard them in the hall and the front door slam. I opened my door and ran outside while Nathan ran to our mother. No sooner had I stepped foot outside did someone grab me under my arms, slap a hand over my mouth to stop me screaming, and drag me behind the trees. I kicked and struggled, but Rusty was too strong for me. It was before his hip was smashed, so no struggle for him.”

My voice is full of disgust and terror. The terror of a little girl manhandled and carried away by a grown man. I can feel the tears burning behind my eyes. The dam I’d been building for so long is about to burst. I fiercely blink away the tears and steel myself to tell the rest of my story. If he doesn’t want me anymore after that, so be it. I’m done hiding.

I look at Vegas and he’s as stiff as a board, his posture radiating anger, shock, and disgust. Well, I can’t help that. He wanted to know, so now he’s going to listen to the end, whether he likes it or not. Then I’ll pick myself up, walk away with dignity and cry the oceans of tears that are waiting to burst out at home. In my own solitude. Anger flows through me. How dare he? He told me to trust him. I did, and now, he’s disgusted and angry with me?

At least I see this side of him now, before it’s too late. I swipe the few escaping tears away with an angry arm. Let him see I’m furious with him, bitter, disillusioned. I’m strong. I will survive this as well. So what if I’ve fallen hard and fast for this beautiful man? Just goes to show that beauty is only skin deep, huh?

And, yes, I’ve known for a few days that I’m in love with Vegas . . . Vince . . . whatever he wants me to call him. I thought maybe he was the exception to the general mentality of club members. Club and brothers come first, then nothing for a long while, then themselves, sex, and a whole lot of nothing after that. That’ll teach me. I’m such an idiot.

“Don’t,” I bark at Vegas in the coldest voice I can manage as he tries to speak, a look of surprise on his face. See? I can do this! “He dragged me behind the trees. The house, then, was on club property. It no longer exists, burned to the ground in retaliation, and Nathan and I were almost burned alive. Brass, Pennywise’s dad, rescued us and got severely burned. They later killed him in the shootout that killed a lot of the original members and put more in prison, Stone on death row in Nebraska, as you know.”

I take another deep breath, thankful that the history lesson is over. “He had me clamped tightly to his front, one hand over my mouth and the other holding his gun to my temple. I was only ten, for fuck’s sake, but he made sure I understood what he expected from me.” ‘You breathe one word of what you’ve seen, and I will put a bullet in your airy-fairy head, girl! Then I’ll come for your little brother! Then for Raven, he needs a smack over his puppy nose anyway!’ The memory of Rusty’s threat comes to the front of my mind. “I’ll never forget his manic, evil laughter . . .” I shudder, lost in my memories.

“He threatened me over the years, and as I grew older, the threats became more violent. One time, he told me he’d take me to his mates and let all of them have a go at me, let them pull a train o me.”

I hear Vegas gasp before he rockets off the table where he was sitting and starts pacing.

“I never told anyone. Not Raven, not Nathan, not Mom, not anybody. If I had, I’m sure he’d eventually come for me and make good on his threats. He’s evil, a slithering snake in the grass who bad mouthed Raven at every turn. He knows I can’t tell on him because no one would believe me. He’s the VP, after all. Who would Raven believe? His sister or his VP? Club always comes before family, I know that. He used to touch me, still sometimes does when he thinks no one notices. My butt, my boobs, anything he can get away with. That’s why I stayed away. I don’t need his shit, Vegas, and I sure as shit don’t need your disgust, anger, or pity.” I look at him for the first time eye to eye and his are blazing with fury while mine are alight with disappointment in him.

“Who else knows?” Vegas grates out.

“Mom knows some, as does Ally, but no one knows the entire story, just parts of it. You’re the only one, and I’d appreciate if you would keep it to yourself and just let me go home. You’ll never have to look at this obviously so disgusting person again,” I hiss at him.

He stands stock still as though I slapped him. In fairness, it’s what I would like to do but don’t have the courage to.

“Is that what you think?” Vegas bellows at me and I flinch back from him. “That I’m disgusted and angry with you? You silly fool. Yes, of course, I’m angry and disgusted. I want to kill someone right now, so badly,” he snaps at me. “Ashley, look at me,” he commands. “I‘m not angry at you, nor am I disgusted with you. How could I be? You’re my woman. Someone has been threatening and scaring you for years, so of course, I’m pissed. At Rusty, at the club, at the world, at myself for not picking up on it or being able to help you when you needed it most.”

I look at him, utterly stunned. Why is he not pissed off with me? I kept this secret.

“Ashley, listen to me and listen to me good.” His voice is gentle as he walks over, pulls me out of my seat and wraps his arms around me, squeezing me so tight it is difficult to breathe.

“I’m sorry, baby, so sorry. Sorry this happened to you, sorry that you felt you had no one to go to, and sorry I didn’t kill the fucker. I’m sorry you’re still suffering every day, and sorry that you think you can’t trust the club or that the club would have your back. Ashley, the club is your family. You’re part of it, whether or not you want to be. We all love you. I love you. We’d do anything for you.”

My eyes shoot up to his. “What?” I look at him, eyes as big as saucers.

“Yeah, sweetheart, I did just say that I love you, and I mean it. I’ve been a fool not to admit it to myself sooner, but I’ve been in love with you since that day in Violets two years ago. I’ve never looked at anyone else the way I look at you.” He smiles down at me.

“But—”

“No, Ashley, no ifs, no buts, no coconuts. This is me telling you how I feel, so don’t try to question it. I love you. End of discussion.”

I close my eyes and finally let the tears escape. “I love you too,” I sob, “so much.” Clinging to him for dear life, he picks me up, cradles me, and sits us down on the sofa with me in his lap, blubbering and shedding all the tears that have built up through years of anxiety. He just sits with me, holds me, and lets me get all of my anguish out.

His T-shirt is thoroughly wet, my eyes swollen and all I can do is hiccup after a long while, but my soul feels a little lighter and I’m a lot less anxious.

“Hey, baby, feeling a little better now?” His gentle eyes look down at mine, and I nod at him. He sits me on the sofa beside him, disappears for a few minutes, then returns, picks me up, and carries me to the ensuite bathroom. The bright lights are off, the water in the tub is running with only the soft color-changing tub lights on. He slowly starts undressing me, showing me so much care that my eyes are filling again. Leaning against him, I let his comfort seep deep into my bones. I don’t notice that he’s undressed himself. He carries me to the tub, lowers me in gently, then gets in behind me. Cradling me close, my back to his front, there is nothing sexual about this, just close comfort, relief, and peace settling over me. I’m emotionally exhausted.

We sit there, just being with each other, for a long time. He washes my body with such gentle tenderness that I feel a little overwhelmed. When he’s done, he lifts me out of the bath, dries me and himself, and gently carries me to his bed.

“Sleep, beautiful, I’m not going anywhere,” he whispers, kisses me sweetly and as he lifts his head from mine, my eyes close, and I give in to my exhaustion.

My dreams are haunted. Rusty is coming for me. He takes me, kidnaps me, and I can feel his hands on me as well as the gun at my head. I wake up screaming, and Vegas rushes into the room.

“Baby, are you okay?” His voice is heavy with concern.

“Sorry, yeah, I’m okay, just a bad dream”

He climbs on the bed with me and cuddles me close. “Shh, it’s okay, I’m here. Nothing is going to happen to you.” I let his soothing voice wash over me.

“How long have I been asleep?” I look at him questioningly.

“Two hours, princess. You needed it.” A loud growl from my stomach interrupts him. I can feel myself flushing pink, and Vegas bursts into laughter. “Okay, okay,” he chuckles, “I can take a hint. Come on, princess, let me feed you.”

He throws me one of his T-shirts. The smell of him on his shirt is comforting and makes me smile. I follow him into the kitchen where the pizza is still sitting. He switches on the oven, places the pizza and some garlic bread from the freezer in it. I hop off my stool and open the fridge. He has all the makings of a salad. So, I get to work cleaning and chopping everything. I look around for a bowl and, as if by magic, it appears right in front of me. Vegas is smirking at me. With the salad prepared and the pizza almost ready, I wash my hands while Vegas takes out and portions the garlic bread, and then the now ready pizza. We load our plates with salad and eat in peaceful silence.

After clearing our mess, we climb back into bed. Vegas pulls me into him.

“I want you to stay with me, princess,” he murmurs in my ear. “No, let me finish,” he insists when I’m about to protest. It’s too soon for this. “I know what you’re going to say—that it’s too soon, that you don’t want to depend on me, that you want to have my own space—and you probably have a hundred more objections. Just let me tell you, you’re it for me. As far as I’m concerned, you and I are forever. So, you staying here would just shorten the process a little. I want everything with you, Ashley. I want you with me, want to build a life with you, fill your belly with our babies and watch them grow, and eventually, I want to marry you. I want to give you the world and all that’s in it, to make you feel loved and strong.”

He continues, “Unlike you, I had a good upbringing. The first few years weren’t great, fair enough, but my grandmother took me in when my mother couldn’t be bothered, and she gave me all the love and security I ever could’ve wanted for. I loved her so much. She was more my mother than my real mother ever was. My grandad fell in World War II and left her a fortune. He was from old money. Grandma always lived frugally, and I never realized her financial situation until after she died and left me everything.

“I gave my mother the house to shut her up and moved here. I bought this property, and the one hundred fifty acres it sits on, and made it my home. Very few people know where it is. It’s my sanctuary, and one I want to share with you. If you really feel you need your own space, I get that. We’ll just have some alterations done to the house, extend it, which I was thinking of anyway, and add bedrooms for at least ten kids.” I hear the laughter in his voice.

“Ten? Oh my god, I’m not a broodmare,” I object laughingly.

“Details.” He waves away my objection, easily dismissing it. I turn around to face him.

“Seriously, Vince, I can’t. What about the house? What about Nathan?” His steely gray eyes capture mine, and the love I see in them melts my heart and my resistance.

“You could keep the house, Ashley. Rent it out for now, if that would make you feel better. I can speak to Dawg. I know he and Caroline are looking for a place to settle down. Nathan can stay here when he’s home. This is a three-bedroom, two-bathroom, so there’s no problem there,” he replies seriously, a look of concern and steeliness in his eyes.

“Okay,” I answer, feeling happy for the first time in years. “Okay, yes, I’ll stay with you. Under one condition . . . well, several conditions.”

He smiles at me. “Let’s hear them.”

“No babies, not yet, and when we decide to have them, I want three, maximum. I’ll contribute half to the bills and shopping.” I can see his brows draw together in displeasure, but I soldier on. “I’ll rent my house so I have somewhere to go in case something goes wrong or you change your mind or something. And we’ll add two extra bedrooms, one for Sarah and one for Leo.” I feel a little wounded when he starts laughing.

“Oh, princess, you are precious.” He chuckles. “How about this as a counteroffer? I pay the bills, and you can pay for the shopping. Anything we need for the house comes out of an account that you’ll have a card, so don’t think you’re paying for anything to do with the house. We can add as many bedrooms as you like, and even an annex for Sarah and Leo if you want, though somehow, I don’t think they’d use it much. And how about five kids instead of ten?” He snickers.

I want to protest, but he cuts me off by placing his lips on mine, sealing them with a toe-curling, panty-wetting kiss.

A glowing red backside and four mind-melting orgasms later, I feel boneless and don’t have the strength or mental capacity to object any further. I’m sure he short circuited my brain with the last one, as I feel I’m just floating on a cloud. It wasn’t gentle, and he was in full control. I know he needed that, so I submitted to him, happily. I smile up at him as he’s half leaning over me.

“One more condition,” I get out before my eyes close. “Please, can we have a playroom?” I don’t hear his reply, just his quiet snort of amusement before I fall into a deep, dreamless sleep.