Page 16

Shock and fury run through me when I spot Vegas. Unbelievable! Vegas’s beautiful face! I can hardly make out his eyes, and it’s a struggle to not gasp in shock. He hasn’t spotted me yet, but I can hear the guys murmuring and staring at me. As Vegas turns around fully, I nearly drop the pizza boxes. Fuck my life! Sparks is coming toward me to take the pizzas, and I lean toward him.

“Is that Raven’s handiwork? What the fuck did Karen tell him?” Sparks looks from me to Vegas, then turns to me with an apologetic look in his eyes, aware of my fake crush but not knowing that it’s become very real. He nods and has the decency to avoid my eyes. I’m furious. The anger is rushing hot through my veins and leaves me struggling to remain composed. Taking a deep breath, I look at Vegas and the others, silently seething, then I paste a smile on my face.

“Thanks for having my car fixed, guys. I know you won’t take money, so I thought I’d provide you with lunch. Three Meateaters in large, fully loaded, garlic bread, Bud and doughnuts. If you don’t want them, just say, and I’ll take it to work with me.” My voice sounds lighthearted, but my anger is vibrating through me. This is not over, by no stretch of the imagination, and Raven is not going to get away with this. And yes, it’s Raven, not Jamie, because the brother who loves me would not be such an asshole. The club President, however, that’s a different story.

I text Vegas several times. Bloody coward, he’s ignoring me, but it’s no less than I expected. He loves the club. It’s his family, and he’ll do as he’s told, which would have been to leave me alone. I know Jamie too well for his own good.

I will not let him get away with controlling who I can see, kiss, or otherwise in any way, shape, or form. If he thinks he can dictate to me, he has another thing coming. He wants to play? Bring it on! I can play with the best of the boys.

Luckily, it’s a short shift today. Sarah catches me in the linen room and shuts the door.

“What has crawled up your ass and died today?”

“Nothing,” I reply, slamming the freshly folded sheets into their place on the shelves. I pick up a towel and vigorously shake it out before folding.

“Ash, I hate to tell you this, but the towel is already dead. You don’t have to kill it before folding it,” Sarah tells me with drawn-up eyebrows. I huff and carry on accosting the towels. She leans in and takes the towel out of my hand. “Sit!” she orders, pointing to a stool. I do as I’m told but fidget. It’s impossible to sit still, I’m so enraged and resentful. “Now, spill. I cannot watch another towel get tortured,”

“So, after we fought, I may have gone to Stormy’s and may have gotten a tad drunk,” I start off. “While drunk, I may have taken a shine to Vegas,” I swallow and hunch my shoulders in embarrassment.

“Interesting,” Sarah replies with a knowing smirk. “Continue.” I shoot her a squinty glare.

“So, we may have had a moment, or several moments, ending in the hottest, most toe-curling kiss ever. It was so scorching, it made the paint on the walls melt.”

I can’t help it. Grinning from ear to ear, I relive the moment for a second or two until Sarah rips me out of my moon-eyed stare.

“What took you so long? It’s clear you have the hots for him, and the way he looks at you, and more importantly, the death stares he sends everyone else who shows the slightest interest in you, clearly, he wants you. What’s so terrible about that?” She looks at me with questions in her eyes.

I blow out a breath, my voice instantly hardening. “Raven!”

Her confused look tells me I‘ll have to elaborate.

“Raven knows about it. The bitch, Karen, who manages Stormy’s, couldn’t wait to tattle. So, he punched Vegas, and not only once. Vegas has obviously been told to stay away from the princess . Well, I’ll tell you what Raven can do with his princess, or rather what his princess will do to him. She’ll take her size six spikey-heeled boots and bury them in his ass. That’s what the princess will do. How dare he try to order who I can and can’t see, kiss, fuck, or do whatever else I want to do with? I’m a grown woman, not a child. And God help me, he will get what’s coming to him,” I rant to Sarah, who looks at me with enormous eyes. I’ve never been one to get angry, and certainly not rant. I’ve always been the quiet one, getting on with my life, but enough is enough.

“He owes me, and he owes me big. All these years, I’ve picked up the pieces for the club and brought up Nathan. I deserve better than this. I was forced to make my own decisions from an early age, and I’ll continue to do so. What a prick! It’s not as if I’m an untouched virgin, either. The time for protecting my virtue has long gone. Fair enough, so I haven’t got lots of ever-changing boyfriends, but that doesn’t mean I’m an innocent. I worked at Violets. I know what the world is about. And though I asked for my membership to be kept private, I have one, and use it from time to time.”

However, that’s no one’s business but mine. Not even Sarah knows about that. I don’t like to sit in a glasshouse for all to see, nor do I leave my laundry out for others to inspect! I like my privacy, so shoot me!” Sarah’s eyes are bulging out of her head in surprise, and for once, she’s stunned into silence. It takes her a moment to process my ravings.

She clears her throat noisily. “Oh my god, Ash, what an asshole! And you have a membership at Violets?” her eyebrows have reached her hairline, with a look of pure disbelief. “Which you kept that from me?” Well, shit, I must have said the last bits out loud. I cringe. My secret is out and despite knowing it will be safe with Sarah, I know she will want to know all, and I really don’t want to tell.

It’s my private life, which I’d like to keep very private for obvious reasons. Time to change the subject.

“Has Dougal called you? I gave him your number.” Sarah puts her hands on her hips.

“Oh no, missy, you’re not getting away that easy. You are not off the hook, not even a little!” I sigh in defeat, but tell her.

“Look, I know you have questions and lots of them. I promise I will answer, but not here. I’ll need something stronger and a comfortable seat for this.” I try to placate her. To my surprise, she replies.

”That is fair enough. I agree this is not the time or the place for more revelations about the dungeon of your life,” she snorts. She actually snorts!

“As far as your dickweed of a brother is concerned, let him have it, sister. His delusions of grandeur need to be stamped on decisively before they get out of hand. You are your own person, and one of the strongest women I’ve ever come across. Do you need back-up? Just shout and I’ll bring a baseball bat to beat some sense into him. Club Prez or not!” Sarah is ferocious with her protectiveness and her unwavering support of me. She’s the best friend any woman can have, and that realization puts a smile on my face.

“Thanks, Sarah, I’ll find him tonight after work, rip his arm off and beat him to death with the soggy end. If that doesn’t help, he’ll find himself with freshly ripped, oversized new asshole!”

“Woo-hoo! You go girl, I might just come along and cheerlead!” Sarah is chortling. “And if it goes too far, just call and I’ll help you bury the body.” I know she’s only half joking.

“The thing is, Sarah, I like Vegas. I really like him. Like a lot. It has been the hardest thing to admit to myself, and I’m still struggling with that revelation a little myself. I can’t help how I feel though, how he makes me feel. He’s not I not your ordinary relationship, I’m well aware, but I’d like to see where this could go.” Exhaustion overcomes me, as well as a healthy amount of sad. I’m starting to fall for that beautiful man and have no idea how to get him to give us a shot to start with.

???

I nod at the prospect at the gate, who lets me pass without stopping. My fury has not subsided, not even a tiny bit. I’m revved and ready to go. Watch out brother, princess is about to smack you out of your arrogance and overprotectiveness! I send Vegas another text, letting him know exactly what I think. He can fuck off. If he too much of a yellow belly to decide I’m worth standing up for, he can go fudge himself!

I take a deep breath, get out of the car, and storm straight into the clubhouse. Dougal is at the bar, chatting with Pennywise and Mom, who winces when she sees my face. My pissed off features give me away.

“Raven?” my voice is hard as steel. Dougal and Penny look up in surprise and toward the office.

“He’s in a meeting.” Penny throws in.

“Watch and see if I give a shit!” I hiss at him. He raises his hands in a placating gesture as I stomp past him, heading toward the office door.

“Ash, I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” Dougal shouts after me. I spin around, my eyes giving him the death ray.

“Mind your own fecking business, Dougal. Your opinion is neither required, nor wanted and certainly not going to stop me!” He shrugs his shoulders as if to say, ‘Have it your way, your funeral,’ and turns back to his beer. I don’t knock, but shove the door open with force. It bangs against the wall and slams closed behind me. I look at Slender and Ferret and hiss.

“Get the fuck out!” Looking at Raven and receiving his nod, they’ll get up.

“We’ll finish this later,” he tells them. I don’t even wait until they have left the room properly.

“How fucking dare you!” a few decibels above yelling. “How fucking dare you meddle with my life! You’re my brother, so you get a free pass on lots of things, but not this time. And before you start, don’t tell me to calm down. Let me tell you, I’m way beyond that.” I’m sure if my eyes would shoot any more sparks, he would catch fire and incinerate with the god damn desk he’s still sitting behind.

“Ashley, what’s the matter? Why are you so—”

“Shut up! Just shut up!” I screech at him. “Don’t pretend that you don’t know why I’m here! I’m not stupid, so don’t insult both of our intelligence. Not that I believe you have any of that left at all, you damn asshole.” My voice is glacial. His audacity amazes me, so much like our father. No more!

“Did you really think, in your misguided notion of having to protect me, that I’d appreciate your meddling? My dear brother, the time to protect me was when I was ten, not twenty-six. If I want to kiss Vegas, I damn well will. Hell, if I want to have sex with him on top of that bitch’s bar, I damn well will do so. With or without your approval.” I can see him change color, going from red to white to red, a bit like a failed traffic light. Do I care? No, I don’t. It’s time to stand up and be counted.

“Jamie, I love you, but you have gone too far this time. Have you ever thought that I might like Vegas? In all your actions, did you just once try to think about me instead of yourself? I hate to tell you this, but you’re getting more and more like our father, the older you get. When I needed you to protect me, you weren’t there. Before and after Mom died. You hid behind our father for years, and although you made a valiant effort to change things, you’re now acting just as autocratic and selfish as he did. Yes, you turned the club legit, but that’s about where it ends.

“I know you have to be strong and can’t show weakness with the men, but Jamie, let me ask you, is it worth it? Carry on the way you’re going, and I’m gone. I love you, Jamie, but this has to stop. Where were you when I needed you, Jamie? Where . . . were . . . you? I’m a grown ass woman, and I know my mind. I like Vegas, have for years, but I never acted on it. What gives you the right to use your fists on him? If you must know, I kissed him ! Not the other way around! I was a little tipsy but not inebriated. He wasn’t taking advantage of me. If anything, I took advantage of Vegas. So, what now? You gonna rearrange my face as well?”

Panting after my outburst, out of breath, I can feel tears stinging in the back of my eyes. I wipe my hand over my face, swallowing hard to keep them back. No way will I give him the satisfaction of seeing me lose it.

Jamie slumps into his chair, closing his eyes. His face looks pained, whether from the assault of my voice on his ears or whether anything I said sunk in, who knows?

“Ashley,” he groans, “you and Vegas can’t happen. Ever. He’s a great brother, and under normal circumstances, I would be happy for you two to get together. I’ve known for a while that he was looking at you differently than other women. But it can’t happen. He’s no good for you,” Jamie says calmly.

“And who makes you judge and jury about who or what is good for me or isn’t?” I shoot at him, my temper still flaring.

“Ashley, listen to me,” he starts. “I don’t know how to tell you this except straight. He’s not an easy man, and he has certain interests and tastes. He might hurt you.”

“Oh, how valiant of you,” I scoff. “I take it you’re talking about him being a Dom and his membership and visits to Violets?” Jamie looks at me, stunned by the bombshell I just dropped. See how he likes the detonation! “I have a membership to Violets and know very well what his appetites are, having seen him in action plenty of times when I worked there behind the bar.”

I can see Jamie visibly flinch as though I slapped him, hard. “See, you think you know me, brother of mine, but realistically, you only see what you want to see. You don’t really know me. You never talk to me long enough to find out anything about me and my life other than the real superficial stuff. To you I’m the club princess. But let me tell you, I’m no princess, club or otherwise. I lost my virginity when I was twenty and have been active since. I know what I want, what I like, what I need. And your interference is not it!” I pace in front of his desk, adrenalin stopping me from being still.

“Ashley, I’m sorry. Please sit down and let’s talk about this. All of this.” Raven says quietly. I don’t think I’ve ever seen my brother subdued. There’s a first for everything.

Jamie sits back and scrubs his hand through his long black hair. If it wasn’t so serious, it’d be funny. He looks as though he’s been dragged through a hedge backwards, not just once, but several times. He looks tired and much older than he is.

“Ashley, I don’t know what to say. You are my little sister. Wherever I can, I want to protect you. I’m sorry I did not see that you’ve grown up over the years. I worry about you and don’t want to see you hurt. I’d have to kill whoever hurts you and to stop the body count. I made sure the men knew you were out of bounds. Now, I see I should have spoken to you. Taken time with you. It kills me to see you so upset and to hear the bitterness in your voice. It reminds me so much of Mom.” His voice is breaking, and he clears his throat.

“I’ve been so busy with the club, I forgot you needed me too. I left you all those years to deal with Nathan on your own. It was completely unfair, and a real dick move. You had so much to deal with. I tried to make your life easier and instead that backfired in spectacular fashion. I’m so sorry. Without realizing, I let you down. He looks me in the eye for the first time.

“I hate to find out that you worked at Violets. I did not know things were that bad Ash, why didn’t you come to me and ask me for more money? You know I would have given it to you.”

“Jamie, that is exactly the point. You never bothered asking what we needed or wanted. Just for your information, I didn’t work at Violets because I was desperate for money. I did it because it paid well, and I was curious about what goes on. Turns out it is a place that suits me, a place where I fit in. No one made me take out membership. I did that on my own. And before you ask, no, I have never been involved with Vegas at Violets or any other place. I avoided him for years.” I can’t help but notice the relief on Raven’s face.

“Raven, I know you love me and want what’s best for me, but you must trust that I know best about what is best for me. I promise, if I need your protection, I’ll come and ask for it.” I try to put all the sincerity of the world into the look I give him.

Raven sighs. “Okay, Ash, understand that it’s difficult for me, and will take time to adjust, but I try to trust you. If you want to be with Vegas, I won’t stand in your way. I can’t guarantee that I won’t hate the thought, but I’ll get used to it.”

Inwardly, I high five myself and want to do a victory dance. “Thanks, Jamie.” I stand, walk around the desk, wrap my arms around him from behind, and kiss his head. “I’m not saying we’ll be an item. Let me live my own life, that’s all I’m saying. This is hard for you, I know. Just let things happen in their own way.” I can feel him nod. He turns his chair and drags me down into the chair with him. We are both exhausted and just seek comfort in each other for a moment.

“You need to get yourself a good woman” I half groan, half laugh. He hugs me tight, and a deep chuckle escapes him.

“No way, sis. The woman who’s able to put up with me hasn’t been born yet.”

“Maybe I could set you up?” I tease. He looks at me as though I lost my mind.

“No, just no, sis! That is a firm no, by the way. Or a no way in hell type of no, just to make it crystal clear.” I laugh as I get off his lap.

I look at him more seriously and tell him, “Watch your back, Jamie. When I was at the bar, I overheard Karen telling others how Rusty is talking about you.” I hold my hand up and stop him as he starts to reply. “I know he’s your VP, and I know you trust him, but just be careful. What he did to Sarah was awful, and I’d like to rip his balls off for that alone. Just be careful, okay?” He gives me a strange look and nods.

“Thanks, sis, I will. Always. Love ya, now get out of here so I can carry on with my meeting, if you haven’t scared Slender and Ferret senseless,” he grumbles. I throw a grin, finger wave over my shoulder, and make my way out the door. It is late by the time I get home and check my phone. I see Vegas’s message and anger rises anew.

I type a quick reply, throw my phone on the kitchen counter, run myself a bath, and relax before bed. My adrenalin is still running high.