Page 157 of Until August

He never cared that I couldn’t carry a tune. He said my enthusiasm more than made up for my bad singing voice.

But now he was gone, and we’d never get the chance to do all the things we’d planned.

We’d never eat sugar cookies and drink hot chocolate together again.

We’d never take that trip to Swedish Lapland to see the northern lights. He’d booked the trip as a Christmas surprise, planning and organizing it a year in advance.

I looked at August, so patient and stoic behind the wheel. “He’s really gone,” I said as if the thought had just occurred to me.

“Yeah, Nicola. He’s really gone.”

And as if his confirmation was all I needed to believe it was true, I broke down and sobbed so hard I couldn’t breathe.

I cried for Cruz. The tragedy of leaving this world too soon. And I cried for everything I’d lost.

My first true love. Gone. I’d never see his face again. I’d never put up another Christmas tree with him again.

Never laugh at his jokes.

Never kiss his lips or hold his hand.

I couldn’t even see the Christmas lights through my tears.

The world looked dark and bleak, and everything felt meaningless.

August pulled over and put the truck in park, and then he scooted over on the seat, pulled me into his arms, and held me. While I cried, he stroked my hair.

And I thought,What had I done to deserve either of them?

What fools we mere mortals were to fall in love.

What was crazier than giving away your heart, knowing there was a real possibility that it would get broken?

Everything felt so hopeless. The world cruel and unforgiving.

And yet, life went on.

And so did I.

CHAPTERFIFTY-SIX

August

February

“Can I help you?” a pretty brunette asked.

“Yeah.” I blew air out of my cheeks. “I want to send flowers to someone.”

She laughed. “Well, you’ve come to the right place.”

“Yeah, looks that way. I’m not really a flower kind of guy.”

“I can help with that. What’s the occasion?”

What’s the occasion? Nicola’s restaurant had been awarded a Michelin star. That was the occasion.

Like most things these days, it felt bittersweet.