Page 137 of Until August

My shoulders sagged. “I know. You’re right. I’m sorry. I’m sorry about everything.” I let out a ragged breath. “I ruined our date.”

“Fuck the date. Let’s get out of here.”

CHAPTERFORTY-EIGHT

Nicola

It was onlywhen I slid into the passenger seat that everything hit me.

August telling me he loved me and not saying it back.

Frankie’s words. Her accusations. The look on her face… shehatedme.

I started shaking so badly that I couldn’t fasten my seat belt. Finally, I gave up and collapsed against the bench seat.

August looked over at me, and I heard him inhale a sharp breath.

“Nicola,” he said softly. “Come here.”

I don’t know if I moved or if he did, but he was holding me in his arms, once again trying to put all my broken pieces back together.

I leaned my head on his shoulder and pressed my palm against his chest right over his heart.What will I do without you?

“She was right,” I whispered. “Frankie was right.”

“Look at me. Look at me, Nicola.” I lifted my head, and he grasped my jaw. “You can’t honestly believe that anything she said was true. It was all bullshit. Don’t give her that kind of power. She was coming at you from a place of anger. Those are her issues, not yours. Don’t let her guilt-trip you.”

I squeezed my eyes shut and blew out a breath, replaying the conversation in my head. When I opened my eyes, August was studying my face, waiting for my response. “I don’t believe all of it. I know I’m not a whore and the whole money thing is untrue. I’ve never cared about how much money someone has.” Those words were as much for August as they were about Frankie’s accusations. I pulled away and took his hand, brushing my thumb over his busted knuckles. “But the part about being happy with you when Cruz is….”

I left the sentence hanging. August knew exactly what state Cruz was in. I shifted in my seat, angling my body toward him. “You and I are so much more than just friends, August. I didn’t mean that. I’m sorry. I just…”

“Panicked.”

“Yeah. I panicked.” I tried to think of what I could say to make this better, but I was botching everything tonight, so it didn’t surprise me when I failed to say the right words. “It’s not that I think our love is wrong….”

“You just don’t think it’s right.”

“Maybe we’re right, but our timing is wrong?” Not sure why it had come out as a question or why I’d started with a maybe. I knew we were right for each other and that our timing was shitty. But I felt emotionally drained. Completely wrung out. And had run out of the right words to make an impossible situation feel hopeful.

He nodded slowly, then let go of me, slid behind the wheel, and put the key in the ignition. “Buckle up.”

I stared at his profile. At the set of his jaw as he stared out the windshield. “What?”

“Fasten your seat belt so I can drive you home before you turn into a pumpkin.”

It would have been funny if there had been any indication that he was joking. But he still had that clenched jaw and a face that gave nothing away.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered once we were on the road headed back to my house.

I wasn’t only talking about tonight. I was talking about us. The future we didn’t have. The future wecouldn’thave until I’d found a way to resolve my past.

Running into Frankie was the wake-up call I’d needed.

I had to let August go before making any decisions for Cruz. Hanging on to August wasn’t fair to him or to Cruz.

But August understood without my having to say the words.

We were so attuned to each other.