Page 150 of Until August

“Ready?” Dylan asked.

I nodded. There was nothing left to do except go home and try to figure out how to live without the man I’d loved so dearly.

Ultimately, all it took for Cruz to leave this world was for me to release my grip and let him go.

Scarlett and I were quiet on the drive to my house, both lost in our thoughts. The scenery passed by in a blur, and I was almost shocked when I saw that we were parked in my driveway.

“I should have been with him,” I whispered into the darkness.

“You were. You were with him for all the things that mattered most. And he knows. He knows how fucking much you loved him. He knows.” Her voice cracked on the words.

It was a good thing we were parked in my driveway because my best friend broke down and sobbed. It was the first time I’d seen her do it since Cruz’s attack. Maybe she’d done it privately. I don’t know. But never in front of me.

I circled the hood and pulled her out of the driver’s seat and into my arms.

She fell apart in my driveway two weeks before Christmas. It was like a dam broke, and her tears flowed like a river. I wondered if I still had any tears left to shed.

I held her until she stopped shaking and her tears dried, then stepped aside when Dylan wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close to his side. He wiped her tears away and kissed the top of her head. “You okay, Starlet?”

She nodded, her smile watery. “I’m sorry,” she told me, her voice shaky. “I’m supposed to be comforting you.”

“You did, and you have been. Don’t be sorry. I’m not the only one who lost Cruz.”

I knew that I wasn’t done grieving. Maybe I hadn’t even started yet.

But I was ready to sit with my pain. To really feel it, to live and breathe it, and hopefully, the day would come when I could let it all go.

“Let’s go inside, and I can make us some tea or… hot chocolate, maybe? Whatever you want, Nic,” Scarlett said.

I shook my head. “Go home and give those gorgeous girls a hug.”

“We’re not going to leave you alone.” She looked horrified at the thought.

“Whatever you want,” Dylan told me. “We’ll do whatever you need.”

“I just need to be alone.”

Scarlett’s brow furrowed. “But… are you sure? No. No way. I can’t just leave you like this. I don’t want you to be alone. We’re staying. Or I’ll stay. Dylan, you can pick up the girls from Remy’s—”

“No,” I said firmly, then softened my voice. “Really. I want you to go. I want to be alone.”

She hesitated, not wanting to leave me, and looked to Dylan for backup. He studied my face. “You’re sure this is what you want?”

“Positive.”

“Okay.” He nodded. “But if you need us, call. For anything. No matter what time it is, you can always call.”

“We’re here for you,” Scarlett said. “So please… just reach out. And I’ll check on you tomorrow, okay?”

I nodded as I turned and walked away.

All I wanted was to be alone.

CHAPTERFIFTY-THREE

August

Today’s forecast:cloudy with a chance of rain and a double dose of heartache.