Page 52 of Unmasking Love (D.C. Renegades #1)

Aiden

A Purple Nurple Saves The Day

I blink open my eyes and freeze.

Just inches away is the most realistic vision of Harper I’ve conjured up yet.

This hallucination is bittersweet.

The moment I come to my senses and realize she hasn’t returned to me I’ll be crushed even further.

My body aches without her.

Fuck, I’m even imagining the way her body rises and falls with her breath in her sleep.

There’s only one way to confirm that I’m imagining her.

Slowly I move my fingers to my chest and twist my nipple.

Ouch!

Holy shit.

I’m not dreaming?

Thank fuck.

Harper really is lying in my bed. I wasn’t sure if I dreamt of her soft hands on my waist last night. Her gentle breaths on my neck. But with one purple nurple I’ve confirmed she’s really here.

Her hair has fallen into her face and I gently reach up to brush it back. She inhales deeply as she wakes and I smile so widely I can feel it pull at my ears.

“Good morn ing, sweetheart." I whisper as she blinks her truffle brown eyes open.

“Morning. How are you feeling?” She asks as she presses the back of her hand to my forehead. I give her a minute to check, mostly because the concerned look on her face is adorable. Hello nurse.

I pluck her wrist off my skin and press a kiss to her pulse. “I’m feeling so much better.”

“Good.” She sits up and moves to get out of bed. “I’ll start on breakfast for you. Or, wait, are you hungry?”

I’m starved for her but I don’t think that’s what she means.

I remember my head feeling a little fuzzy before taking the ice last night. Then the intense onslaught of offense that kept me forward and alert for a long stretch of time. Then standing up and feeling all the blood rush out of my head.

I came around pretty quickly but Felix was standing over me commanding that I don’t move.

Then the training staff was there and got me off the ice.

I asked for Harper, and my parents in those first moments.

My parents were rushed down to the training room but I had no idea Harper was in the building.

That surprise could have sent me into another fainting attack.

The worry on her face was etched with longing.

With love.

And I know this is my chance to clear the air and figure out why she left.

“I’m not hungry.” I tell her. “I want to talk.”

“Oh, okay.” She mutters then points over her shoulder. “Let me wash up quickly.”

“Of course.”

She steps into the bathroom and I slowly sit up. There’s water on my bedside table so I take a long drink. I stand slowly, not feeling great but feeling steadi er on my feet than after my ill fated snorkeling trip, and walk out to the living room.

Moments later, Harper joins me. She’s in my t-shirt and it looks perfect. She’s perfect. She slides into the far corner of the sofa and our eyes connect. She can only hold my eye contact for a split second before she turns away. I start to reach for her but stop myself.

"Harper, talk to me, what's going on?"

"I," she starts and she exhales in frustration. "Aiden, you hurt my feelings."

"How? When? What did I do?" My brain reels with the fact that I caused this rift between us but I have no earthly idea how.

"It feels so silly now.” She huffs playing with the cuff of the shirt.

“But it wasn’t. Tell me Harper. I want to know what I did and I will make sure I never do it again.” The desperation is clear in my tone.

“You didn't tell me about the record."

"The assist record?" Why would she care about that?

"Yes, I had no idea you were working towards it."

"I wasn't," I say defensively. "It isn't even a stat that gets tracked for goalies. Someone in the marketing department did the math after I'd had a few."

"But the team was into it, cheering you on, supporting you, and you didn't want me to do that too."

"What?" I hate to argue with her but she's wrong.

"No, Harper, I couldn't care less about it.

I didn't tell you because I didn't think to tell you.

And," I lean forward and rest my arm on the back of the couch.

"You're the thing in my life that isn't hockey.

I like coming home to you and letting some of it go. "

"But you didn't want to come home to me." She accuses.

"Again, what? Harper I feel like we're talking about different things!" Now the desperation is turning to anger. We spent two full weeks apart, not speaking, because she interpreted things in such an isolated way.

"After the assist celebration, you texted that you weren't coming home."

"Not because I didn't want to!" I almost yell, this conversation is frustrating me to no end. "Felix had the starting line over for movies. We slept over because by the time we got through two it was the middle of the night. Then when I came home the next morning you were gone."

"Because I didn't think you wanted me there."

"That couldn't be further from the truth." I tell her quietly as I move closer to her on the sofa. "Harper, I want you all the time."

She blinks her brown eyes at me and I reach forward and finally cradle her cheek in my palm. She leans into the touch and warmth travels from our connection through my entire body. "Why did you run?"

Her eyes flutter closed and she sighs. I wait as she gathers herself, watching the twitch of her eyelashes, the slight tremble in her fingers.

"I wanted to be the one to leave for once." Her eyes open to mine and I see a deep well of sadness in them. This girl has been hurt. By past boyfriends for sure, but this feels like something more.

"How did it feel to leave?" I ask.

"Terrible," she laughs sadly and I smile. "But I think that's because you're different."

"We've established that I'm better than any other boy you've dated."

“Wes calls you my manfriend. ”

I laugh. “I like that.”

"I do too.” She smiles down at her lap. “But I mean, my mom too.

" She looks at me for a beat, trying to decide if this is a safe place to talk about her mother.

I keep my face as neutral as possible. Encouraging her to continue by not rattling her.

"Everything she’s done in her life has been in pursuit of security. "

"Security?"

"Ye ah, she scammed men into relationships.

They'd buy her things and give her a home and then she'd squirrel away money and find a new mark.

Sometimes I was a part of the process but other times she'd go after married men who would get her an apartment and then she'd basically hide me in a spare bedroom. "

"Harper, that's horrible."

She shrugs, "I've had a lot of time to process it. She did the best she could. But it made me set on providing for myself. She went from man to man in a transactional way. I never wanted that. I wanted a true partnership. So I've spent the last decade going from man to man to try and find the one."

"I get that, but I still don't understand why you left."

"Well, every other guy has left me. So when I thought that you didn't want to celebrate your achievements with me I decided that I wasn't going to wait around for you to leave me."

"I could never leave you." I tell her as I drag my knuckles up her shin. I need the contact.

"You say that now, but,"

"No. Harper.” I cut her off sternly. “I have been away from home since I was a teen. I've been passed off from one team to the next. And while I can say I didn't take it personally because it was for work, for a game, it still stung. It hurt. The difference is that I shut down.

"I didn't want to let anyone in. I wanted to do the job and leave. I didn't make friends, I didn't connect with the team or anyone outside of it. I isolated myself.

"But here, with you, it's different. With this team it's different. I care about you so deeply. I'm not totally sure what to do with all this feeling."

Now it's her turn to reach for me. She presses her palm over my scar and I pile my hand on top of it. My eyes close as her palm measures the rapid drum of my heartbeat. I breathe in through my nose and when the air has filled my lungs I let it out slowly and look at Harper.

"I love you." I repeat the words I confessed to her voicemail yesterday. The urge to scream them at her nearly takes over.

I watch her throat work through a swallow. She doesn't try to pull her hand back. She keeps eye contact with me. Her breathing increases and I watch her jaw clench and release.

"I love you, too."

We both let our admissions sit between us for a beat. Then she launches herself into my arms and I crush her body against mine.

I want to kiss her desperately but I won’t put her at risk for catching the virus I’m battling. Instead I hold her head against my chest and press kisses to her shoulder. Her fingers grip into me and I whisper “I love you so much” into her hair.

She lifts her head and wipes away the tears on her cheek. “I’m sorry,” she says quietly and I decide not to fight her on it. I don’t think she has anything to apologize for but I can see in her face she feels responsible.

“Me too.” I agree instead, shouldering some of the blame for this collection of miscommunications. Learning that Harper needs to hear what I’m thinking before her mind has the chance to, incorrectly, fill in the blanks.

“When can we get your stuff?” I ask her and she swallows and looks away. “Do you have a really busy day?” I ask and then I catch the time on the stovetop clock. It’s almost 9:30am and she usually would have been at the office already. "Late start today or something?" I ask.

"Or something."

"Harper," I pull her shoulders square to me, she takes her sweet time turning her head to face me too and then another second before she brings her eyes to mine. "What happened?"

"I quit."

"What?" It's only bee n two weeks since she was living with me and leaving for work every morning.

Loving her job in a way that kept her working long into the night.

She was frustrated with me for not sharing the assists tracking with her but this is major life news that she's only telling me because I caught her out. "When?"

"Three days ago."

"Why?" I ask as calmly as possible. She’s been through so much and I wasn’t there to help her. I didn’t even know about it. Did Wes? He never said a word.

"I found out that they had taken me down from the website so I wasn't getting new inquiries. And they'd taken me out of the lead rotation for cold calls that come in. So I quit."

I can tell there is more to this story. There is something she's not telling me. My gut isn't wrong about these things very often, if ever. But we've shared a lot in the last hour and I'm going to let it go in favor of rebuilding the relationship we let get off track.

Deciding to ease up on the intensity of the conversation I ask her questions about how she’s stayed busy as I brush my teeth. Then I text my parents and tell them to come by whenever.

An hour later, Harper is chatting with my parents as she makes savory oatmeal with smoked tofu and avocado. She insisted I stay on the sofa and rest. The team doctor calls and tells me that I can’t play or practice for five days. They’ll see where things go after that.

The morning continues with the woman I love and my parents getting to know each other. The guys all check-in via text or phone calls and I assure them I’ll be back to health soon.

My parents head out for another sightseeing tour and Harper and I crawl back into bed. We drift off together and when I wake with her in my arms I know it’s real. I don’t need to twist my nipple to confirm anything.