Page 41 of Unmasking Love (D.C. Renegades #1)

Harper

To girlfriends and beaches and hockey!

“Can you take a couple of days off?” Aiden asks as I walk into his apartment after work.

“Maybe, it depends on when.”

“It’s a four day trip to Florida. We’ve got a game in Tampa and then Ft. Lauderdale and Johnny said the girls are planning to go. And then, I figured since we were down there you and I could visit your mom, too.”

I slowly navigate to my calendar app because there is a lot to unpack there. Everything he said sends alarms off in my head.

Visit my mom?

Hangout with the girls?

Take four days off work?

“Umm, when would this be?” Maybe if I focus on the logistics I can process this.

“The team flies to Tampa late on the 31st and then we play on the 1st, fly to Ft. Lauderdale the next morning. Then we have a night off and then we play the Sharks on the 3rd. The team flies back that night but I could stay and fly back the next night with you.”

I thumb through the dates. It’s a week out so I don’t have showings set up yet, there was one tentative client dinner but I could move it. Honestly things have been slower than usual lately so I only have one active client.

In a way, not being insanely busy has been nice. I’ve been able to focus more on Aiden. I moved in a few weeks ago and we've fallen into a comfortable routine.

When the team is home, he wakes up early and rides, I start breakfast. Then some days we shower together, other days I have to run to work.

He spends his day at practice or meetings or with different charity appearances for the team and I take clients to homes, coordinate photoshoots, and try to drum up new leads.

At night we reconnect, talk about our days, and fall into bed together.

The team plays three or four nights a week.

I made it to one of the games and since Aiden wasn’t playing I sat up in the family suite.

Danielle, Ivanna, and Caroline were there.

They’re nice, welcoming, and patient as I learn the game.

We’ve become friendly when we see each other but we’re not making plans outside of the games.

Do they really want to take a trip with me?

Am I ready to take a trip with them?

I look up from my phone and the hopeful look on Aiden’s face answers my questions for me. He wants me to do this. So as a supportive girlfriend, I want to do it for my manfriend . I smile at the nickname and then deliver the good news.

“I think I can make it work.” He jumps up and wraps me in a hug.

“I’m sorry our first trip together is around the hockey schedule but we’ll have lots of fun.”

“I’m sure we will.”

Aiden kisses me on the temple and walks to the kitchen. I unpack my bag and set up my laptop on the counter. “Should I book the flights?”

“No, I’ll text Johnny. He said Caroline is going to take care of everything. Do you want to call your mom and make some plans?”

No.

No, I do not.

I w ant to find a way not to see her at all. She’ll ruin what I have with Aiden. I don’t know how, but she will find a way.

“I’ll wait to see what Caroline plans, then I’ll call her.”

“Sounds good,” Aiden says none the wiser to my internal hesitations as he prepares dinner. We have sweet potato and black bean burrito bowls planned but I’m not sure I can stomach it.

***

“I’ll obviously follow Johnny anywhere but it being 85 degrees in January just isn’t right.” Caroline says as she fans herself under a giant sunhat. “I hope he never gets traded to Florida or L.A.”

“Don’t forget Arizona,” Ivanna adds.

Caroline chartered a plane for us and flying private is definitely worth the hype. We all changed into summer clothes before deplaning and our bags were whisked to the hotel while we took a different car to the beach.

“I grew up here so this is normal for me but I do love the change of seasons in D.C.” I share and then look desperately at the girls behind my sunglasses, waiting for one of them to pounce on my admission.

Somehow finding fault or issue with where I grew up.

Anything that sets me apart from them is a threat to our blooming friendship.

“I agree, I love the change of seasons. Surprisingly, my favorite place was when Vlad played in Sweden before coming over here. There are so many forests and the trees would change colors in the fall and then in the spring they’d burst back to life.

” Ivanna shares and I continue to watch as the conversation continues.

I blink a few times. No one was concerned about where I grew up?

I figured they’d pounce on the new information.

Ask questions about living here which would lead to asking me about high school.

I don’t want to lie bu t I don’t know how to tell these girls that I’ve never had a group of girlfriends and I don’t know how to trust them.

Instead they’re talking about leaf peeping and are planning a trip for us together next fall. I’m hardly listening. Is friendship really this easy?

Two champagne buckets get delivered to our cabana and the server pops them open for us. Caroline pours all around and even gives a half glass to Ivanna who has been oiling her pregnant belly since we arrived.

“A toast,” Caroline says. “To girlfriends and beaches and hockey!”

With a giggle we clink our glasses and I take a sip. The bubbles float down my throat and bounce around in my stomach. It turns into a churn when Caroline asks me a question and the spotlight is on me.

“When will the house renovations be done Harper?”

“Oh, um I’m not sure. Probably by April.

” I tell her and then try another sip of champagne.

I know I’m being silly. I know worrying about everything that comes out of my mouth is a waste of energy.

I inhale as deeply as I can without making a scene and focus on the conversation, not the intrusive thoughts rattling around in my head.

“Ah good, so you’ll be moved in before the playoffs.” Ivanna says. Am I a bad girlfriend? I hadn’t thought of that before. How Aiden will want his space back so he can focus on hockey and that I should plan to be living back at home or somewhere else.

“Yep,” I offer and then sit back while Ivanna turns the conversation to Caroline’s wedding.

“We picked July because that gives us enough time to finish a Stanley cup final and not have to walk down the aisle a day later.” She shares.

“And will you still teach in the fall?” Danielle asks.

“I plan to, but hopefully for only one more school year. Once I’m pregnant I’m going to quit. The hockey schedule is so much to manage just for us as a couple. I know once kids are in the picture I want to focus completely on our family.”

“ So you’re not going to keep working?” I ask.

“No, do you plan to?” Caroline asks me.

“I’ve never thought about it.” I admit and Caroline raises her eyebrows.

“Oh, knock it off.” Ivanna scolds. “Harper and Aiden have been dating for a few months. Plus who knows if he’s going to be on the team next year."

“He only has a one year deal?” Caroline asks.

“And there’s a waiver clause.” Ivanna tells her and Caroline’s eyes widen.

“What does that mean?” I ask. I didn’t know he was only signed for a year. We haven’t talked about his hockey contract. But maybe we should.

“It means that the team can trade him before the deadline if they need to make changes to the roster before the playoffs.”

“When’s the deadline?” I ask as a sinking feeling starts in my stomach.

“Early March, I’m not sure the exact date. Ivan negotiated the waiver out of his contract last year so he’s locked in for two more seasons here.”

“Johnny has a four year deal.” Caroline adds.

“Coaches can get fired anytime so things could change for us really quickly.” Danielle adds. She seems to have accepted it.

“I see,” I mutter and then I stare off at the waves crashing the shore. Questions swirl through my head.

Does Aiden expect me to follow him to a new city if he gets traded?

What about my job?

Wes?

My new house?

The trade deadline sounds like it’s a month away. Could he really be traded anywhere in just a few weeks?

Is this on his mind?

Why haven’t we talked about it?

Is Aiden not as serious about me as I am about him?

“ Oh, Johnny just texted.” Caroline’s announcement pulls me from my thoughts. “They’re headed back to their rooms for naps.”

“Time to go ladies! I love afternoon naps!” Ivanna claps as she stands.

“I wonder if I can convince Coach to take a 'nap'?” Danielle says, pausing to use the air quotes. The girls giggle.

I pack up my bag and follow them to the car. The hotel the team is staying at isn’t on the water, it’s inland, closer to the arena. The ride isn’t too long but it’s long enough for me to feel the key differences between me and these women.

First, they all understand the game in a way I don’t.

Secondly, they don’t work. Well, I guess Caroline is still teaching but she said she was going to leave as soon as she got pregnant.

Third, it seems their significant others open up to them. They all seem to know the stakes and the pressure the players face.

Aiden has shared a little more about hockey now that he’s helping with strategy. He’s excited about his work and he tells me about those discussions. But I don’t know his training regime or have his game schedule memorized. I don’t know any of his stats.

Am I supposed to look them up myself? Or is he supposed to share them with me?

I hate that one afternoon with the girls has rattled me so much. I feel like I haven’t gotten anything right.

I want to be a supportive partner for Aiden. I want to understand the game so he can talk with me about it.

We all go our separate ways when we get to the hotel and I head upstairs to meet Aiden. I knock on the door and moments later he swings it open wide.

His smile shines and just seeing him erases some of the worry I’m carrying.

“ What’s going on?” He asks as he pulls me into the room. I guess I didn’t mask my unease fast enough.

“Nothing, hi.” I force a smile. Maybe too hard because he levels me with an expectant look. “What? I’m fine.”

“You’re fine?”

“Yep, totally and completely fine.” I set my bag down on the chair in the corner.

“So something is wrong.” Aiden says as he places his hands on his hips. I can tell he’s trying to ease the tension that is undoubtedly rolling off my shoulders but I wasn’t ready to have this heart-to-heart with him.

Our eyes connect and I watch as his morph from playful, to questioning, to gentle and that’s the look that breaks my resolve.

“Is it true you could be traded any day?”

“Where is this coming from?”

“I want to know. Are you leaving? You’ve been traded before, a lot.”

“I have,” I see a shadow cross over his face and I hate that I’m responsible for putting it there. He sticks his hands in his pockets and looks away for a moment before turning back to me. “Honestly? Yes, it’s possible I get traded any day."

I sink down to the arm of the chair because my legs aren’t as steady as they were. Aiden could go. He could leave. And this relationship we’re building would return to dust. And the friendships I’m just starting to build would be ripped away too.

Maybe I really am my mother. It seems everything in my life is revolving around a man at the moment.

That man walks over and kneels in front of me. He gently places his hands on my hips and his warm palms are soothing but gut wrenching.

“What’s going on Harper?” He asks quietly.

I fixate on my fingers in my lap but eventually lift my chin and meet his cerulean eyes.

“ I really like you.” I start with.

“I really like you too,” he says immediately.

“And, I’m making girlfriends.”

“You sound sad about that.”

“I have a history with girls.”

“What do you mean?”

How do I explain this without telling him absolutely every dark thing about me and my past? I don’t want him to see me any differently because of how I was raised. And there’s a chance he’ll be meeting my mom in a few days and the less everyone knows about the other, the better.

But when Aiden reaches up and thumbs away a tear that’s leaked from my eye, I remember that he’s already seen some of my uglier life events. That he has never passed judgement on me. That he has secrets, too.

And if I want him to open up and trust me, maybe I’ll have to go first.

“My mom slept with my friend’s dad.”

“When?” Aiden asks as his posture stiffens.

“We were in seventh grade. My friend found out and then when her parents got divorced she blamed it on my mom. On me.”

I let out a sigh and Aiden stands. He moves my beach bag off the chair, takes a seat, and then pulls me down into his lap. I tuck my legs up and he wraps his warm, strong arms around me.

When he presses a kiss to my temple I continue. “She convinced everyone in school I was a whore, like my mother, and I was ostracized. No one would talk to me. And I didn’t get to change schools for another four years.”

“I’m sorry that happened to you.” Aiden whispers. “What brought all this up today?”

I inhale. “I’m not sure exactly. Probably just hanging out with girls. I am always waiting for someone to make a sly comment or for me to mess up and lose their friendship.”

Aid en nods and brushes a piece of hair behind my ear.

“I’ve always worried about the way my teammates see me.” He says and I shift to look into his eyes. “I don’t want them to see me as weak or a liability.”

Aiden breaks his eye contact and glances down at his chest. Carefully I place my hand over his scar and he piles his hand on top of mine. When he looks back up at me I don’t see the sadness, fear, or anxiety that I am expecting. Instead I see happiness, joy, and hope.

“This group has been different. This locker room is special. I’m not sure what Felix has the staff put in the water bottles but everyone is friendly and puts the team above the individual.

Now, I don’t know their wives and girlfriends all that well, but I have to imagine these guys are only dating the highest caliber of women. ”

I think back to how the girls have welcomed me and included me whenever I allow them to and I think he’s right.

“Now, that includes you. But, it’s okay to admit you’d rather sit along the glass near me than up in the cushy family suite with all of them.”

I laugh gently and he captures my chin in his palm. Aiden presses a featherlight kiss to my lips and I feel its effects all the way to my toes. He carries me to the bed and we settle in for a pregame nap.