Page 121 of Under the Table

“I don’t agree with her methods, but I can’t disagree with what she said,” Rex said, his tenor tones rumbling through the room.

That same devastation she’d experienced before came raining down on top of her again. Hope bit back her retort this time, though. Because this was Rex. And they hadn’t gone into this arrangement without eyes wide open. At least, she’d thought they had.

“I don’t think this is working, Hope.” Rex looked up at her, sadness reflected in the browns of his eyes. “And if you really sit down and think about it, you’ll see that.”

She shook her head before she could stop herself, but she wasn’t entirely sure that she disagreed with him either. She was about to respond, when Rex spoke.

“I went on a few dates, you know. When you were in LA with Ange, and a few times this week.”

“Did you?” Hope swallowed hard. Why didn’t that sit well with her? It did, and it didn’t all at the same time. She just wished she’d known about it. They were supposed to talk about these things, weren’t they?

“I did.” Rex flared his fingers, palms up in front of to him. “They weren’t great.”

“Oh.” Hope frowned. She didn’t want that for him. If he was going to go on a date, then she wanted him to enjoy himself. She wanted him to have fun and explore just like she was doing. That’s what they’d agreed to. But then again, happiness couldn’t be manufactured.

“I don’t want to go on dates,” he whispered.

Hope’s chest tightened.

“I don’t want you to go on dates,” he said more firmly this time. “I don’t think we made the right decision, and I don’t hold that against you, but I’m not sure that this is what I want anymore.”

Tears sprung into her eyes, stinging them. They barely had time to themselves lately, but it wasn’t just because of Angelica. They were at the tail end of filming, and they knew that was always the worst time in their relationship, when they never saw each other. They’d both been so busy that they could barely keep up or know which way was up and which way was down.

“What do you want?” she whispered, not sure that she wanted to hear the answer to that question.

“You,” he said simply. “It’s always been you.”

Hope sniffled. She leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms as she shook her head. She was in a no-win situation. Someone was going to end up hurt. Someone was going to end up devastated.

“Eva’s struggling, Hope. She really is. She barely sleeps anymore, as you know, but when you’re not here, she doesn’t want to go to bed. And tonight—” He stilled and then sighedheavily. “Tonight was hard. She saw the cracks that have been there full force and she didn’t know what to do with them.”

“That’s Rachel’s fault,” Hope said.

“Maybe.” Rex shrugged. “Maybe not. She’s certainly the one who brought it up. And again, I don’t agree with her methods, but I can’t disagree with her point.Thisisn’t working.”

“So what do we do?” Hope whispered.

“I don’t know.” Rex’s face fell, though.

She could see that a mile away. She knew exactly what he was asking, but she wasn’t ready to make that leap. Not yet anyway. She needed a minute to absorb everything. Well, more than a minute. She was going to have to take at least tonight. Because she hadn’t lied to Rachel when she said she wasn’t willing to be anyone other than herself.

She just had to figure out what that meant when she was fully in love with two people.

Two people who were seriously trying her nerves.

Hope bit her lip and rocked back into the chair, staring at the tabletop. She was lost in her thoughts. She had no idea if Rachel would ever speak to her again, or if they’d ever manage to repair the friendship they’d cultivated. She didn’t know if Angelica even loved her, and they hadn’t even had a chance to talk that through.

“I need you to choose, Hope.” Rex scrunched up his face. She knew those words were so hard from him to say. That he’d tried so damn hard to make this work. “Because I can’t keep going on like this. I feel so neglected, and it’s not because you mean to neglect me, it’s because we’re not taking the time to work on our relationship together. And if Ange is still in the picture…” he trailed off, reaching over and clasping her hand with his, “…I don’t think that’ll change.”

“Rex…” Hope’s heart thudded. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Don’t say anything.” He squeezed her hand and then pulled away. And she was so afraid that this would be the last of it, that he’d never touch her again. They’d never kiss. They’d never share their deepest secrets and fears and joys together again. “Just think about it.”

Rex got up and went into the bedroom, shutting the door behind him.

Hope stayed at the dining room table, her heart shattering into a million pieces. The choice should be obvious, should it?

But she couldn’t deny what she felt for Angelica.