Page 103 of Under the Table

“So I’m not the perfect daughter. When I look at Sydney and Lisa, they did everything right with Kayla. They loved her to a fault. They protected her when she could so easily have landed herself in deeper problems and trouble. She had what I never had.”

Hope again swiped her thumb across Angelica’s cheek, keeping her touch soft and tender.

“That’s what made this week hard, wasn’t it? Being faced with the fact that your childhood wasn’t what it should have been, that your dad, who also happened to be here, just doesn’t love you like he should.”

Angelica’s lips parted, as if she was going to object to what Hope had said, but then she finally nodded. “Yeah.”

Hope sighed lightly, leaning in and kissing her quickly. “You are loved, Angel. And you deserve to be loved.”

Angelica didn’t say anything, but she accepted the kisses this time. Hope leaned into them a little more, sliding a handto Angelica’s shoulder and then down her back to hold her in tightly. She was taking a risk doing this in the street where anyone could pass them and see, but she felt they both needed it. She parted her lips and slid her tongue lightly against Angelica’s before pulling back.

“What do you say we go down to the kitchen, steal a few beers, and take them back to your room?” Hope curled her fingers around Angelica’s hair and tugged lightly.

Angelica smiled at her. “That sounds lovely.”

“Good.” Hope reluctantly let go of Angelica’s hand and started back toward the hotel. “You get to meet Rachel next week.”

“Rachel?”

“My oldest sister.” Hope dragged her foot against the sidewalk. “Josef convinced her to come for filming.”

“He didn’t ask you either?”

“He apparently talked to Rex.” Though Hope still wasn’t very pleased about that. While they were married, it was her family that they were bringing in.

“Filming was better without him here, and I hate saying that. It shouldn’t be like that.” Angelica crossed her arms as they walked.

“No, it shouldn’t.” Hope resisted the urge to reach out and touch her again. This wasn’t Angelica closing off. It was her keeping her hands to herself, which was a lesson that Hope was still having to learn. She loved touching Angelica, mostly because she loved just how much Angelica seemed to love it. As if she was touch-deprived and Hope was the only way to fulfill that need. “I had a producer on my show who seriously messed with the vibe. She left after the first season, and it was like everything got easier after that.”

Angelica hummed, but she didn’t say anything.

“What would it take to move Josef out?”

“He’s the showrunner,” Angelica added. “He came up with the concept, and I doubt he’s going to let it go that easily.”

“True.” Hope stayed close to Angelica as they made their way into the kitchen. The beer options in there were slim, but at least they’d be able to take the bottles upstairs and they wouldn’t have to go to the bar to order. Hope snagged four bottles, two for each of them, and then started back toward the lobby. “Still, it’s nice to dream about it.”

Angelica laughed a little, which was music to Hope’s ears. Even the small amount of vulnerability and conversation they’d had was enough to lighten the mood. They rode up the elevator in silence, but Hope couldn’t stop staring at Angelica, looking her over from head to toe.

Something about the way they were together now made it easy to believe that this could work. But then she was smacked with the reality of the rest of this week. Of the harsh way Angelica had handled Kayla, the coldness she’d brought to that conversation and the rest of her dealings with the staff and owners. Angelica hadn’t been kind or caring, not in the way Hope knew she could be.

She rubbed her lips together as the elevator dinged on their floor. She followed Angelica out, carrying the long-necked bottles of beer between her fingers. Angelica opened the door to the room and immediately turned around to smile at Hope.

“When do you have to go back to your room?”

Cold rushed over Hope. That’s what this was going to be, wasn’t it? Never fully them, and never fully open. Not unless she changed and did something different. Not unless one of them made a decision that would bring them closer together and give them more time.

“For tonight, I do need to go back before Eva wakes up.”

Angelica kept her lips curled up in a smile, but Hope caught the way her eyes dimmed as the reality set in. Once they wereinside, she twisted off the caps of the beer bottles and handed one over. She sipped hers and sat against the edge of the desk as she carefully observed all the small changes in Angelica since they’d gotten back.

“But maybe we should plan something, just the two of us.”

“What do you mean?” Angelica lifted the beer to her lips and drank.

“Quality time.” Hope shrugged and then moved to sit next to Angelica on the edge of the bed. “I mean, that’s what people do in relationships, right? Spend quality time together that doesn’t involve work?”

“Yes?” Angelica said it like it was a question.