Page 20

NINETEEN

Alexia

Who knew that getting a tattoo would be such a turn-on? Maybe it wouldn’t be if it weren’t Xander doing the tattooing, but there was just something about the way he wielded that machine that just had me all kinds of hot and bothered. Which is fine when we’re holed up here in this tattoo parlor. But we’re about to be on the street again. And even though Xander says it’s fine and we’re safe... I still worry.

“There we go, all bandaged up. With your speedy healing, you should only have to keep this on for a day,” Xander says, breaking me from my inappropriate thoughts.

“Okay, sounds good. Are we going back to your place now?”

He grins at me as he gets to his feet and holds his hand out to me. “Someone’s ready to get back on the bike.”

I grip his fingers and stand. “Well, I don’t know about that, but?—”

“Oh, come on, little wolf. I know how much riding behind me turned you on.”

Heat courses through my body, pooling at my center. I fire right back saying, “Then you won’t be surprised to know that you tattooing me has soaked these leggings.”

I internally cringe. Goddamnit. My impulse control really sucks. I’m going to need to work on that if somehow, I actually do become queen.

He smiles as he cleans his station, and if I'm not mistaken, that is a blush reddening his cheeks. If someone would have asked me a week ago if I thought Xander was capable of being embarrassed, I would have answered with a resounding no. Despite the fact that I should not be flirting with him, I can’t help but be proud that I have that effect on him.

“I don’t think you understand just how difficult it is to drive a motorcycle with a hard-on,” he says, tossing the last of his used supplies in the trash.

I smirk as I follow him toward the door. “You’re adorable when you’re all flustered and embarrassed. I had no idea I had that effect on you, Xander Slade.”

He switches off the light and locks the door as we exit the parlor. “You have many effects on me as I clearly have on you, Miss Rush. Hence, your ruined leggings.”

“True,” I say, swaying my hips as I walk to his bike.

We climb on, and the motorcycle roars to life as I wrap my arms around his waist. We speed down the empty streets, the amber lights racing by like bolts of lightning. I love the way the wind whips against my skin, my hair fluttering against the back of my helmet as the salty air invades my senses. This is the closest I will ever come to flying.

It all ends too quickly when Xander stops at the entrance to an underground parking garage. He enters a keycode and the barrier arm lifts. We don’t have to drive far for him to find a small space to park his motorcycle. I slip out from behind him, pulling the helmet off. He remains sitting as he reveals his face, scoots back on the seat, and grabs me by the waist.

He slides his hand along the back of my leg, running his fingers mindlessly up and down my thigh. “The things I want to do to you on this bike. It drives me crazy to have your hands on me and not be able to touch you back.”

Before he can lift my leg and pick me up so I’m straddling the bike and facing him, I place my hand on his shoulder to stop him. Even though it’s the last thing I want to do. “I don’t know if this is such a great idea. Aren’t there cameras down here?”

“I always thought the idea of someone watching was sexy,” he says, patting the gas tank in front of him.

Shit, so do I. But it also seems really dangerous for you and me.

“Me too, but?—”

“But...”

“Xander, we—we really shouldn’t.”

All playfulness drains from his face. He sits up straight and crosses his arms. “Talk to me. What has you freaked out all of a sudden?”

I shift from foot to foot and busy myself by placing the helmet I had been wearing on the back of the bike. I hate this so much, telling him no. It’s the kind of rejection that would break my fucking heart in a moment like this.

It’s breaking it now.

“Nothing, I just don’t think we need to keep being so careless. It’s dangerous.”

“Dangerous for who?”

“What do you mean? It’s dangerous for you! ”

He tilts his head side to side like he’s cracking his neck and gets off the bike. He looms over me as he asks, “We’re back to this?”

I look up at him and press my lips together, trying like hell not to let his proximity affect me. “I don’t know that it’s ever really left my mind. But yeah, I guess so. It’s just not safe, and I can’t let it happen.”

“So you’re going to deny what you and I feel? You’re just going to roll over for Clayton and let him take that from us?”

I cross my arms, a little offended by his insinuation. “I’m not rolling over for anyone. And I’m not denying what’s going on between us. I couldn’t do that if I tried. But are you going to stick your head in the sand and pretend that you and I messing around couldn’t get you killed ?”

His face becomes emotionless as he shrugs one shoulder. “I suppose you’re going to make that call for me.”

“Don’t turn this on me!”

“Then don’t make a choice that impacts my life, Alexia!”

My entire body trembles and my face heats up. “That’s kind of the point. You’re not going to do the safe thing, so someone has to do it. And frankly, it’s pissing me off that you would put it all on the line over something so stupid.” I regret the words as soon as they leave my lips. I know that what I said did not come out right, and I can tell by the look on his face that I hurt his feelings.

“Stupid? You think this is stupid?” he asks, pointing his finger back and forth between us.

“You know what I mean, Xander! This isn’t a game.”

“No, it’s not. It's my fucking life!”

“And it’s my choice not to endanger it.” I spin on my heels and stalk back toward the barrier arm. “You’re being so unreasonable.”

I don’t know where I’m going, but I can’t stand staying in here and hearing our heated words bounce off the concrete walls.

“Alexia!”

I ignore his call and continue to march out to the nearly empty boardwalk. It’s a chilly night, and most tourists are tucked inside for the evening. I pick up my pace and keep going toward the sand, the salty night air hitting my lungs. The stars and moon dance on the waves in the distance, luring me toward them. My feet hit the sand, and I keep going toward the water, only stopping just before the tide hits my shoes.

I hate what I’m doing—running away from this instead of facing it. But if I stay, let Xander hold me and touch me and treat me the way he wants to... the way I desperately want to be treated, then I’ll lose control. And if I lose control, we could be found out by the wrong person. For the past almost two weeks, we have been far too impetuous. Fucking around like we have right underneath Clayton’s nose. It has to stop, even if it hurts like hell.

Just when I think he’s given up and is going to let it go, I hear footsteps on the tightly packed sand behind me. I know without even looking that it’s him. “Alexia, please,” he calls. “Don’t do this.”

I whirl around and tears spring to my eyes. “Xander, you’re making this so hard for me. I am trying to protect you! I don’t want to watch them slice your head from your neck, knowing it was my fault!” My voice cracks, and I roll my lips together, looking down at my feet.

“What?” he breathlessly asks, stopping directly in front of me, our toes practically touching.

I raise my voice so he can hear me over the waves. “I heard what Clayton said to you. It doesn’t matter if Kai left or not, he will use this against you. And I refuse to give him the power to take you from this world.”

He cups my cheeks in his hands and lifts my face until our eyes meet. “Don’t you get it? You are worth that risk for me.”

“No,” I say, trying to wiggle away, but he holds me firm.

“Yes. For the first time in years, I feel a sense of peace and happiness. The moment you’re gone—the second Kai comes to his senses—I have to let you go. I would rather know that when that day happens, I got to call you mine for this short span of time.”

Tears stream down my face as I say, “We’ve only been back in each other’s lives for less than two weeks. You can’t believe that I’m worth all that.” That scientific and logical part of my brain that has always been strongest is telling me that this isn’t possible. But ever since Xander came back into my life—since I learned who he really is, I’ve come to realize that logic and what I thought was the truth sometimes doesn’t quite add up.

He sweeps his thumbs through the wet trails on my cheeks, the ocean breeze whipping his hair around his face. “For decades, there has been a deep dark hole inside of me. Nothing I’ve done has filled it. In fact, it’s started eating away at me as I’ve gotten older. It hurt so fucking much. Then the night of your ceremony, you...” He shakes his head, and his chest expands as he takes in a deep breath. “Just seeing you changed all that. And when I found you on the porch after that first night, I realized that something about you soothed that ache in my soul. Every day with you, I’ve felt that chasm inside me getting smaller and smaller. I know you’re not my mate, but you are the perfect fit for that missing piece of me.”

“Xander.” My voice cracks on his name.

“Understand when I tell you that I would rather have this minuscule moment in time with you and meet my end, than live a lifetime without knowing what it’s like to make you mine.”

This. This is what it’s supposed to feel like. This is what I’d always imagined ever since I was a little girl. This declaration of adoration, of... well, he didn’t say the word love , but to be honest, the emotion he just showed, the laying bare of his soul... that felt like more than love. It felt like everything I’ve ever wanted.

I’ve been feeling something for Xander since that first time he stood up for me when no one else did. First, I tried to push it away because I’m mated to his brother, then I tried to convince myself it was only physical, and now I’m trying to deny it because of the precarious situation we’re in.

But I can’t. I can’t deny the way I feel about him any more than I can stop the shift when the beams of a full moon hit the earth. And Kai is not coming back for me; I don’t want him to.

I want Xander. I want everything with him, even if it’s only for one night.

“Alexia, say something,” he pleads, sliding one hand to the back of my neck and gripping it tightly as the other slides down to my waist.

“I give up,” I whisper, moving closer to him so there’s barely an inch between us. “You win. But you have to promise he won’t find out. Because I cannot lose you. You mean too much to me, Xander Slade.” I slide one hand up his chest and the other around his waist. “Promise me.”

“I will fight for you until you tell me to stop. And even then, I will kill anyone who means you harm, even if you are not mine. Because I will always be yours.”

Without another word, I rise to my tiptoes and wrap my arms around his neck, pressing my lips to his. Immediately, he parts my lips with his tongue, both of us releasing low growls from deep within us. He slides his hands under my ass and lifts me off the ground as if I’m weightless and I wrap my legs around his waist.

When we pull back for a breath, chests heaving, I press my forehead to his. “Take me home, Xander,” I murmur against his mouth.

"Yes, little wolf.”

Xander puts me on my feet but holds tightly to my hand as we make our way to the back entrance of his building. His grip on me is like an anchor. It is the only thing that keeps me from losing control, and by the look on his face, I’m doing the same for him. We weave through the back walkways until we reach the elevator. The floors slowly tick by as we travel all the way to the top where the doors open to a spacious hallway with a door at each end. We turn to the right and Xander presses his finger to a digital lock. It clicks open and we are greeted by a dimly lit living room. Everything is black—the floors, the furniture, the walls. The only pops of color come from the panoramic window overlooking the Atlantic and the brightly painted art hanging on the walls.

I don’t get a chance to admire the pieces. Xander wraps his arms around me, pulling my back to his front. His hand slips into my pants and I squeal, making him chuckle low against my ear. “I know you aren’t surprised I can’t keep my hands off you another second,” he whispers, sliding two fingers inside me as his thumb works my clit.

“No, but I—” I gasp when he thrusts a third finger inside. “I thought you were going to fuck me.”

He spins me around and hoists me up onto his front like I weigh nothing, and my legs wrap around his waist. Hooking my ankles behind him, I lean back so I can see his face as he says, “You are so impatient.”

“You’re the one who couldn’t keep your hand out of my pants,” I tease with a raised eyebrow.

“I still can’t.” He walks to the window, the cold glass biting into my back as he presses me against it. “All I want is to be buried deep inside of you.” He does some magical move where he holds me up while pulling off my shirt. His head drops and he licks across my collarbone. I stretch my neck back to give him more room to work and he takes advantage of the space, pulling down the black lace cups of my bra. The sensation of his tongue dragging over my nipple has me squeezing his waist with my thighs. This is what I’ve been craving, the raw need that resonates between us finally unleashed.

Xander slips one hand behind my back and unfastens my bra, letting it fall to the floor. “These tits are so fucking perfect,” he groans, palming one while he sucks on the other.

My head thumps back against the glass as I moan his name. “That feels so good,” I whisper, tangling my fingers in his hair and pulling it free from its ever-present hair tie.

“I need to feel every inch of your skin against mine,” he says, turning and taking me toward the back of the penthouse where I assume his bedroom is.

“Yes, please,” I say as he kicks his door open and gently tosses me on the bed. Looking up at him, I prop myself on my elbows and watch as he reaches behind him and pulls his shirt off over his head by the collar.

His body is just as perfect as I remember, all the swirling tattoos coming together to make the most beautiful piece of art. He unsnaps the button on his jeans and kicks them off as I pull my leggings down, leaving me completely naked on his bed, my hair loose around me.

He’s still wearing his underwear, but the proof of his desire is obvious behind the thin material. I drag my eyes back to his face and a smile turns up my lips. “Fuck, your body is incredible,” I say, unable to hold back the praise.

His lips quirk in an almost shy smile and he shakes his head as he crawls onto the mattress, sliding his palms all the way up my legs, the curve of my waist, until he’s eye level with me.

“Everything about you is incredible,” he murmurs. “This body, your eyes, your hair... fuck .” He holds himself over me, his biceps flexing beneath the ink. “You’re all I think about.”

He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear and something primal flashes in his eyes. I know that need like it’s my own. It is my own. We are done playing sweet.

“I’m going to make it hurt,” he says, his voice gruff with desire.

“Good. I want you to make me scream.” I lean up and nip his earlobe. “I want you to lose control and fuck me hard. No holding back, Xander.”

He grips the back of my thigh and hooks my leg around his lower back. The soft material of his boxer briefs brushes against the sensitive skin between my thighs as he presses his hard cock against me.

“Take these off,” I murmur, tugging at the waistband of his underwear. “I want to feel you everywhere.”

He looks down at me and swallows. “Are you on birth control?”

I nod. “Yeah. I’ve been on it for years. And I just got tested not that long ago, and all’s good there, so if you want to?—”

“Fuck you without a condom?” he rasps. “Yeah, little wolf. I’m negative as well, and I absolutely want to fuck you without a condom.”

The way he can barely hold back his need for me is almost too much. The raw desire and pure desperation is everything I’ve been feeling for him ever since that night on the porch. I want to devour this man.

I free his cock from its restraints, and I nearly implode. I know I’ve seen it, had it down my throat, for fuck’s sake, but to know he’s about to rail me with it?

He reaches down and takes it into his hand. My mouth waters as he smoothly strokes himself. “You’re so hungry for my cock, aren’t you?”

Like I’m hypnotized, I continue to stare at him as I nod.

“Not an hour goes by that I don’t think about how good it felt to fuck your mouth. Do you think your tight pussy will handle me just as well?”

I swallow and draw my bottom lip between my teeth before saying, “I want to. But I’m scared. I’ve never been with someone like you before. But I want to be your good girl, Xander.”

He runs his tip through my slit, making me bow from the mattress and spread my legs wider. “You will be. You’re going to open up for me and take me deep.”

I moan as he nudges my entrance, feeding me the head of his cock. The stretch is blissful pain, but I need more.

I grab his ass and try to pull him deeper, but he takes my hands and pins them above my head. “Let me savor the way this perfect body grips me as I work my way inside you,” he says as he lowers his face to mine, giving me a sweet kiss that is such a contrast to his words, and for some reason, it nearly brings me to tears.

The kiss is over too soon, and all I want is more. “God. Damn ,” I breathe, clenching my fists so that my nails dig into my palms. “This is torture, Xander. Please. I need to touch you.” I struggle to keep the whine out of my voice because I don’t want to be a brat right now, but I need to feel his skin.

He keeps inching into me and a satisfied grumble vibrates through him. “All you have to do is say the word and I’ll let go and give you control again.”

I’m torn. I’m dying to touch him but submitting to his will has my body responding in ways it never has before. The sensation alone won’t have me stopping him. I want him to pin me to the bed, to take my body, and fuck me until he is imprinted on my soul.

“No,” I groan. “Don’t. I want you in control. Give me everything; I’m ready to take it all.”

Something dark and wanton flashes in his eyes as he leans down to kiss me, sinking into me a little deeper. “You have no idea what you just gave me free rein to do to you, little wolf.”

“I think I do,” I say against his lips. “But go ahead and show me, daddy.”

He releases my hands, but I don’t get the chance to wrap my arms around him. Lifting my legs, he presses them back, laying my thighs on my chest. Every thick, long, inch of him slides inside of me. The fullness takes my breath away. I’m stretched to my breaking point, and it feels so good.

Xander gives me a few long, hard thrusts before releasing my legs. He hits that spot deep within me that has me thrashing beneath him. Every bump against my g-spot drives me wild and the warm, tight tension of my release begins to coil low in my stomach.

“Harder,” I breathe, desperate for him to stake his claim.

He doesn’t disappoint, pounding into me with swift thrusts. With each downward motion, he grinds his pelvis against my clit. Never have I come from mere penetration. I’ve always needed to give the guy an assist to find my release. It seems that tonight, for the first time, that won’t be the case.

Finally, I bring my hands to his back and drag my nails down his spine. He hisses and before I can ask him if it was too much, he says, “Do that again, but harder.”

I smile and do as he says, and the sexiest sound—something between a whimper and a moan—escapes his throat as he slams into me. I’m thankful for the plush pillows behind me because if not for them, my head would be bumping into the headboard right about now. But honestly, I wouldn’t give a damn. This feels too good.

The sounds of him sliding in and out of me are obscene, and I love it. It turns me on even more to know how wet he’s made me, and I know for a fact that no one has ever turned me on like this before. No one has ever made me feel like this before.

“Xander,” I gasp, tangling my fingers in his hair and pulling as the pressure builds higher and higher, threatening to detonate at any second. “I am so close. I don’t want to come without you.”

“You won’t. As soon as you squeeze around me, I’m done for. Come for me, baby.”

As if he is the puppet master and I’m under his control, the pressure building deep inside of me releases. I careen over the edge and soar in ecstasy. He holds true to his word. My body milks his cock until he is filling me with his cum. He spills every last drop into me, and I bask in the sensation of him filling me with his release. Being dirty has never felt so good.

“Fuck, Alexia,” he murmurs, pressing his forehead to mine before meeting my gaze. “I’ve never felt anything like that in my life.”

“Me either, I—” I pull back so I can clearly see his face. I blink several times, startled by the image before me.

“Alexia, your eyes. They’re—you’re shifting.” In all the time I’ve known him, I’ve never seen Xander so confused, but at the same time, so awestruck.

“Yours too. Xander, what’s—what’s happening right now?”

His blue eyes flare and sparkle like sapphires bathed in neon light as he growls, “You’re mine.”