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TWELVE

Xander

The past hours have been spent calling every contact I have in both Virginia Beach and Richmond that’s worth a damn. It’s been a tightrope act putting people on the lookout for Kai while not giving away that there’s an issue. I’ve managed to get a couple of friends to watch for him under the guise of looking out for my kid brother. I’m getting frustrated because he’s left us here with nothing to go on. I’m worried. And all I know is that his mate is heartbroken, and I’ve been here to help pick up the pieces.

And that is the biggest contributor to the guilt that has been eating away at me.

I have no control when Alexia is around. My eyes wander, my thoughts wander, and now, even my hands have wandered. Shit. I wish I regretted touching her. It would make everything I feel easier. I could say I know I crossed a line, and I would never do it again. Truth be told, there’s not a chance in hell of me keeping that promise if I made it. I lose all common sense where she’s concerned.

I relax into the couch and run my hands down my face.

I should go home, let Clayton figure all this out. It’s more his problem than mine. But I can’t leave Alexia to navigate this on her own. I know what a dick my stepfather can be. He will show her no mercy. Granted, she would have Carrington to help, but my sister has always been a people pleaser when it comes to her dad. I can suck down a few miserable days with Clayton to make sure Alexia is all right.

Speaking of Alexia, I'm not exactly sure where she and Carrington went this afternoon. She said shopping but that could be a couple of different places. It’s only been a few hours since she’s been gone, but I don’t like it. Not when she’s potentially in danger. I tried to call her, but she didn’t pick up. I don’t like that either. We’ll have to have a talk about?—

The front door opens and closes, and I spring up from the couch, turning to face the sound of footsteps hurrying in through the foyer.

“You tell him,” Carrington hisses.

“But he’s going to freak out,” Alexia whispers. “He’s your brother. You tell him.”

Folding my arms over my chest, I rest my ass against the back of the couch and cross one leg over the other. “I don’t care who tells me. But someone’s going to.”

Both girls jump and Carrington tosses her handfuls of shopping bags onto the loveseat. “Alexia, go ahead.”

Alexia stares daggers at my sister, but when I wave a hand at her that says please, get on with it, she sighs and says, “Something happened while we were shopping today.”

My ears perk up and I cock my head to the side. “Something. What does that mean? ‘Something’?”

Alexia pulls her bottom lip between her teeth and all I want to do is cross the room to her, pull the flesh loose, and tell her to relax, that she’s safe now. Whatever it is, she doesn’t have to be afraid to tell me. But I can’t do that in front of my sister. So instead, I plant my feet and brace myself on the couch with both palms.

“Alexia. Please. What happened?”

She takes a deep breath and says, “When I was trying on clothes, someone was standing outside the dressing room staring in through a crack in the door... and I wasn’t wearing anything but a thong,” she finishes in a humiliated whisper.

My fingers close around the edge of the sofa, and I grip it so hard my knuckles ache. “Shit. Are you all right? Did he say anything to you?”

She shakes her head. “He just freaked me out. But I think he might be the same guy from last night.”

My jaw ticks at the thought of the asshole who scared her being the same pervert who was looking into her dressing room. “What makes you say that?”

“A Jeep with a blown-out tail light was in the parking lot.”

Something inside of me snaps. It’s one thing to freak her out by following too closely and another to demolish the boundary of her privacy. No one should lay eyes on her body unless she gives them an invitation to do so.

I stalk past her and Carrington, heading for the front door. “Where were you?”

“The shops at town center,” she says. “Where are you going?”

“To find him and gouge his eyes out with my bare hands.”

Carrington’s jaw drops. “What? Xander, you ca?—”

I hold up my hand. “I can, and I will,” I say. “Carrington, stay here and wait for your dad. And if he asks where we are, tell him anything you want. Just don’t tell him the truth. Got it?”

She must see I’m not fucking around because she doesn’t argue. “Okay, if you say so.”

“I do.” I jerk my chin toward Alexia. “Come on, you’re coming with me.”

“I am?” she asks, surprise on her face as I grab her arm and lead her out the door, waving goodbye to Carrington over her shoulder.

“Yeah, if you think I’m letting you out of my sight, you’ve lost your mind,” I say, leaning down close to her ear so that only she can hear me.

She looks up at me as we reach my truck, and I open the door for her. We’re behind it and shielded from the house, so she places her palm on my chest. “I need you to calm down, Xander,” she says, looking up at me with pleading eyes.

“This has to end before it gets out of hand.” I tip my chin, gesturing for her to get inside. She doesn’t put up a fight and slides into the passenger seat.

The truck rumbles, covering the sound of her steady breaths. I glance at her occasionally, the smooth up and down of her chest soothing my frayed nerves. The thought of someone watching her while she dressed sets my blood boiling. No one should be watching her like that, only—I stop the thought before I take it too far. Not even I should have my eyes on her naked body without her express permission.

She finally speaks a few minutes later. “Have you heard from Kai?”

“No.” I hate to be so short with her, but I feel like I’m on the verge of exploding. Every time I speak, it’s like I’m adding fuel to the fire.

“I wonder where he went,” she says, and when I glance over at her, she’s staring out the window. I can tell by the tone of her voice that she’s just talking to talk, because she needs to get it out.

I shove down my anger and be what she needs right now.

Because no one else is. I won’t fail her too. Not when all she wants is someone to talk to.

“I don’t know. I asked a few family friends if they’d seen him and they said no, and they have no reason to lie. I also had to keep it really casual so I don’t alert anyone he’s gone. Kai is normally so... chill . I’d never picture him running away from home, so I just don’t know where to even start besides just asking around.”

She nods and shifts in her seat. Without even looking, I can feel her gaze on me. “Clayton is pissed at me for not, I don’t know... constantly sobbing since Kai left. He practically yelled at me before I left to go to my parents’ house yesterday.”

I clench my jaw, forcing myself to stay focused on the road. The thought of my asshole stepdad ripping into her makes me furious. But he’s never been the type of person to think about how situations affect anyone else. “I can’t make any excuses for him. Clayton is an ass. I wish I had been there to shield you from him.”

“Me too, but it’s okay, I handled him. I basically told him I was going to do what I wanted and walked out the door.”

I smile. “Good for you. The two of us got into a yelling match about it earlier too; he stormed out of the house but not before he blamed me and my defiant example for what Kai has done. He wouldn’t have left if it weren’t for you showing him that abandoning his responsibilities is acceptable.”

She cocks a brow at my impersonation of Clayton. “You sound just like him.”

“I’d say it’s a talent, but he never shuts up and I have nightmares about him talking down to me.”

She looks at me like she’s unsure if I’m kidding or not. Unfortunately, I’m not. That man has made my life hell for more reasons than one, but one stands out in my mind that is unforgivable. The reason I’ll never have an ounce of respect for that sorry excuse for a man. She doesn’t press it though, which I appreciate. I’d rather not trauma dump right now. I want to focus on her.

“Does he have any idea of where he might have gone?” she asks.

“Nothing substantial. Really just wanted to blame me more than anything. He said he warned me the other night—” I stop short when we pull into the parking lot, next to the store they had gone into. “Do you see the Jeep?”

Alexia sits up straight and looks around, craning her neck to see out the windows. She leans over me to look and her breast brushes against my arm. My cock twitches in my jeans and I grit my teeth, willing it to calm down. This is not the time .

“It isn’t here. At least not where it was when we left.”

“No more going out without someone to watch your back. I love my sister, but we both know she gets distracted with pretty, shiny things around.”

She tries to hold in her laughter, but it escapes her as a snort. Her hand claps over her mouth, her eyes going wide. Against my better judgment, because as I’ve already said, I have none when it comes to her, I curl my tattooed fingers around her bare, perfect skin and say, “Don’t do that. I like when you smile. I wish you had a reason to do it more often.”

Alexia’s breath catches in her throat, and she slides her hand into mine, intertwining our fingers. “I do,” she whispers, not meeting my gaze. “Well, I thought I did.”

“What are you talking about?” I say, lifting her chin with my free hand so she has to look me in the eyes.

She shakes her head, her cheeks reddening with, what, embarrassment? With me? I start to press her again when she finally says, “You. You make me smile, Xander. And I—” She looks up at the ceiling of my truck and then back to me. “I’m not sure if I’m reading too much into last night or what, and I’m just—I’m confused.”

I close my eyes and gather my thoughts. Part of me wanted her to think it was a mistake. It would make everything simpler if she just wanted to walk away. But then that selfish part of me is doing some kind of backflip over the confession. She has spent time thinking about what we did.

“We shouldn’t have done it,” I say.

“I know and?—”

“But I don’t regret it.”

Her gaze locks onto mine, all attempts to save face melting from her features.

It would be wise to lie to her, tell her I hadn’t thought about it again. I should let her off the hook. Her life is tied to Kai’s, but I can’t lie to her. And goddess help me, I want to reel her in and keep her for myself.

“You don’t?”

“No, Alexia, I don’t. Not a fucking second. The only part I regret is not saying something before now.”

She chews on the inside of her cheek. “Why didn’t you?”

“I may not regret what we did, but it doesn’t mean I don’t think about my brother. I know he’s the one that left, but still. He hasn’t officially rejected you, and I...”

“Feel like you took something that wasn’t yours,” she finishes.

I nod. How can I not feel like that? It doesn’t matter that all I think about is her. She was made for another. I don’t want to step between the possibility of them having the life that our kind holds sacred. She deserves that if Kai gets his head out of his ass.

“Well, you know what? I'm not his. I’m my own person. And I gave you what I wanted to give you. Also, in case you missed it, he doesn’t want me. And to be honest, Xander? I didn’t want him either. Did I feel led to him that night? Yeah. But it felt weird. It still feels weird. I—” She pauses and leans her head back against the headrest before looking over at me. “I feel nothing at his absence. I mean, besides the normal worry over a friend.”

My heart pounds in my chest at her words. “Are you questioning the legitimacy of the bond?”

“No. Yes.” She shrugs. “I know it’s not official yet, but I always heard rejection was painful, like knock you off your feet and steal your breath painful. I don’t even feel a tinge of that pain, knowing that it’s a probability. I mostly just feel embarrassed.”

I shake my head. “I’ve never heard of someone completing the cleansing and picking the wrong person.”

It’s impossible. The cleansing is a sure-fire way to find a mate if they’re in the room. A shifter’s senses are heightened after so long without contact from someone outside of their family. Unless the process was compromised, but Alexia’s family would not go through with the ceremony if they thought for a second she could be drawn to the wrong person. If there is one thing I know about the Rushes: They love their children and would never set them up for failure.

“I don’t know. I’ve only ever heard of a bond breaking if one shifter dies. Even rejects don’t lose that ache.”

“Yeah.” I grip the steering wheel as my mind replays something Clayton said the night we fought in front of everyone. He was clear that there was only one way that my brother was getting out of this. It was extreme and I didn’t take it seriously at the time but now... “You don’t think it’s Kai following you, do you?”

Her head snaps in my direction and her jaw is hanging open. “What? No! Why would you think that?”

“Remember that night Clayton and I fought in the living room?”

“Yeah?”

“He said the only way that either one of you was getting out of this bond was if one of you was dead. What if Kai has gone off the deep end?”

Her face drains of color, and she shakes her head. “No. Kai wouldn’t do that to me. Would he?”

“I don’t know. It’s that type of thing where hindsight is 20/20. I see it now. He was struggling through all this, acting like he was trapped.” I turn the truck onto the main road, eager to leave this conversation behind, the idea of Kai hurting Alexia sitting in my stomach like a boulder. He’s Clayton’s kid, but he is also my mom’s. She would never stand for him harming someone without true cause.

My head hurts and I can’t handle trying to piece this puzzle together anymore. This mess will remain if we try to forget it for a little while.

“Let me treat you to dinner. I know a place,” I offer, hoping to calm any worry I may have stirred.

Half an hour later, we’re parked at an overlook with an incredible view of the mountains. I dig through the brown paper bag from my favorite hole-in-the-wall hamburger place and hand Alexia her order. The crinkle of paper fills the cab of the truck as we watch the twinkling lights below.

We eat in silence for a moment before she says, “Do you have a blanket in here?”

I look at her with a raised eyebrow. “Why?”

She tilts her head to the side and rolls her eyes. “So we can sit in the back of the truck and look at the stars. It’s almost the full moon, you know. The sky is really pretty tonight.”

I hum, setting my burger on the dashboard and turning around to look behind my seat. Sure enough, my emergency kit is back there, complete with a blanket. “It’s your lucky night, Alexia. I have a blanket right here.”

“Can we finish eating out there? It’s so warm out tonight. We really shouldn’t waste the opportunity,” she says, bouncing slightly in her seat, and I try to ignore how cute she is.

“Sure,” I say, grabbing our food. “Get the blanket and spread it out so I can set our dinner back up.”

“Yes sir,” she says, and it’s an innocent turn of phrase, but it instantly makes my pants a little tighter.

We sit side by side on the tailgate and dig into our food. The gentle breeze rattling the leaves above helps calm my nerves. My body relaxes but it doesn’t mean I’m not aware of every movement she makes. I especially pay attention to the way her tongue darts out to lick the corner of her mouth. I’m starting to believe that everything this woman does turns me on.

No one has ever rattled me the way she does. That’s not to say that I haven’t had my fair share of encounters with beautiful women but none of them have captivated me. I find the conversation bland and the sex just mildly satisfying. Yet Alexia has my undivided attention, and she isn’t even saying a word.

“Will this full moon be your first shift without your family around?” I ask.

She scrunches the hamburger wrapper into a ball and puts it into the empty bag. “Sort of. My brothers would take turns coming to stay with me during isolation. But it wasn’t the same. I haven’t gotten to run in three months,” she says wistfully. “It will be the first time with none of my family around, though.”

The first shift without one’s family is a big deal. It’s a rite of passage of sorts. Having family around keeps us from causing trouble when we’re in our animal form. They make sure we don’t leave a trail of carnage which leads human authorities back to us. To shift by ourselves is the ultimate show of trust. Most don’t attempt it, keeping a trusted friend from the pack nearby.

“I’m sure Carrington can watch over you.” Even as I make the suggestion, I hate it. I trust my sister, but I know I would be a better choice for Alexia.

She rolls her lips between her teeth and picks at her nails before looking up at me. “What if I want you to be with me instead? I feel like...” She takes a deep breath. “I feel like Carrington is still a little upset with me about Kai. She won’t admit it. But she feels like his running away is partially my fault.” She swallows and then, in a voice that I can barely hear, adds, “And I—I just want you to be there too. Just because.”

I finish picking up the packaging from our food, using the moment to gather my thoughts. One question plays over and over in my head. I fight to keep it at bay, but it flows out of me as if the dam of self-control bursts open. “What is happening between us?”

I flinch as soon as the question leaves my lips, lingering in the air. What kind of grown man needs clarification on what is clearly physical attraction? Apparently, I do.

She meets my gaze and shifts to her knees, inching closer to me. My heart speeds in my chest and I can’t believe how fucked up she has me. Just from her proximity alone.

“I don’t know, Xander. I was kind of hoping you could tell me that,” she murmurs, reaching out and running her palm up and down my leg, her fingertips teasing my inner thigh before skating back down to safer territory. “I know what I want to be happening between us.”

I’m hardly breathing as I say, “And what would that be?

“I like you, Xander. A lot . And I hope you like me too.”

I cup her face and run my thumb over her bottom lip. “I thought what happened between us last night was proof of how much I like you.”

What an understatement. I more than like this woman. I crave her every second of the day. I struggle to get her out of my head, but she finds her way in over and over again.

She puckers her lips and kisses the pad of my thumb, sending a shiver down my spine. “I know you like my body. But I—” She swallows and looks down at where she’s knelt in front of me, her knees brushing against my calves. “I wasn’t sure how much you like me . All of me. And not just as the person your brother is supposed to be with. Not just the girl that you’re trying to help feel better.”

“All this time you’ve never struck me as the kind of woman who didn’t know her worth. I’m not blind to it. I see how...” I tilt her head up with my thumb under her jaw. “I see how worthy you are, how you deserve the world and a man who wants to bust his ass to give it to you. And not in a hypothetical way.”

She smiles then and the brilliance of it would bring me to my knees if I weren’t already sitting in front of her. “I know my worth. I just didn’t know if you did. That's all,” she says, reaching up and threading her fingers through mine.

I lean closer and breathe her in, the scent of sweet vanilla filling my lungs. My lips brush the shell of her ear as I say, “You have no idea how hard it’s been to hold myself back around you. Only one nagging thought has kept me from spreading those soft thighs of yours and tasting just how sweet you are.”

She shivers and leans back just enough to look me in the eye as she shifts ever so slightly, spreading her knees just enough for me to notice. “If that one nagging thought is your brother, please. Do us both a favor and put him out of your head. He’s put me out of his and goddess knows when it comes to...” She clears her throat. “ That , he’s been out of mine.”

I can’t resist the blatant invitation. My palm rests on her knee, cursing the thick fabric of her jeans as I ease my fingers upward. “The last thing on my mind is my brother right now.” I grab her hip and pull her close, helping her to straddle my lap. To make my point clear, I lift my hips so she can feel just what she does to me.

A moan escapes her lips that makes me want to take her right here in the back of this truck. But I won’t. Not the first time. But I have to touch her again. I can’t resist for another second. Her hand slides down my stomach and she palms my erection over my zipper. I hiss and she nips my bottom lip with her teeth. “Good. Mine too.”

I lay her back on the blanket and brace myself over her with one hand. She stares up at me with lust-filled brown eyes. Her raven hair fans out around her, rivaling the night sky. Fuck, she is a spectacular sight underneath me. I dip my head and brush my lips against hers, needing to have one taste. It’s an innocent kiss, meant to sedate that constant need for her. But damn, just that simple touch has me starving for more. I kiss her again, my tongue tracing the seam of her mouth. She is just as needy when she opens for me.

She whimpers, and I swallow the sound, wanting to give her every bit of pleasure she’s seeking from me, because that sound alone is enough to have my cock rock-hard and weeping in my pants. I reach up with my free hand and grip her chin, keeping our mouths locked together.

But it’s unnecessary. She’s already deepened the kiss, lifted one of her legs around my waist, and pulled me down against her.

“So eager... are you wet for me already?” I ask, letting go of her chin and gripping her waist, rolling my hips over hers.

She stretches her neck back and groans. “Yes, I feel like I’ve been wet ever since you touched me last night, Xander.”

“Didn’t I take care of you? Didn’t I give your pussy what it needed?”

She moans like the memory only intensifies the throbbing between her legs. I don’t need her to answer. I saw the way her body responded, felt her grip around my fingers when I fucked her with them. I’ve since reveled in that moment, played it on repeat with the sight of her face as she came for me. I plan on seeing her do it again.

But thankfully for my ego, she does answer. “You did, but you only made me want more. All I’ve thought about since is you and the way you made me feel. How you knew exactly how to touch me to make me come apart so fast.”

Sliding my hand between us, I pop the button on her jeans and slip under the barely-there lace of her panties. “Alexia, you’re so wet. This won’t do, you laying here underneath me wanting like this.”

She shakes her head. “I told you. And ever since last night, I’ve imagined you doing one specific thing. I know that what I’m imagining isn’t even as good as what it would really feel like but...” Her sentence ends in a squeak when I push two fingers inside her.

“Oh? And what is that one thing?” I ask, biting back a grin.

“I think you know,” she says, her cheeks turning a dark shade of red.

I slide my fingers out from her jeans. She protests, but I place my other hand on her chin and open her mouth, pushing my two glistening fingers between her lips. Her words die on her tongue and a growl comes from low in her throat as she tastes her arousal.

“You taste sweet, Alexia?” She nods and I pull my fingers out. “Tell me what you want.”

“I want you to taste me,” she says, pulling me down by the collar of my shirt and smashing her lips to mine. The heady taste of her arousal and the cherry Coke left on her tongue is intoxicating, and I feel lightheaded. “I want you to eat me out, Xander. No one’s ever—” She clears her throat before looking me dead in the eyes with a confession I can hardly believe. “No one’s ever done that to me. You’d be the first.”

Something primal stirs within me. The first—a part of her that is just mine. I have no chivalry, no self-control. I want to take and claim. I lift her shirt, exposing her soft stomach and place a kiss to the center of it. Hooking my thumbs in her waistband, I pull down her jeans and the little thong panties beneath. My mouth waters at the sight of her. I want her on my tongue and glistening from my lips. I need to hear her scream my name to the stars.

I place her hand at the top of my head and curl her fingers in my hair. “Remember, you have complete control over me.”