Page 19

EIGHTEEN

Xander

While I prep my station, Alexia flips through my leather-bound portfolio I keep in the shop. I glance up at her whenever she makes a little approving sound. It stirs something euphoric inside of me to know she approves of my art. My mother was the only other person I cared about who encouraged me to follow my passions. Something tells me that her and Alexia’s souls are a lot alike.

I fill several ink caps with bright colors, ones that will show nicely against Alexia’s complexion. I normally don’t deal with colors, but for her, I want to do something different. She will walk around with a piece of me on her skin. Every time she catches a glimpse of the art, I want her to think of this time we’ve had together.

The last thing I wanted to do was return home when I got word of Alexia’s cleansing. I’d attended two others and not had a glance spared my way. I knew she wouldn’t be drawn to me. It’s almost unheard of for a shifter in their late thirties to find a mate. The fact that I was meant to never find the other half of my soul was a truth I accepted a long time ago. Still, something nagged at me to go.

The plan was to spend a couple of nights with my siblings and return home. Subjecting myself to my stepfather for any period of time was a special kind of torture I’d rather forego. It was only when I realized what Clayton intended to do that I decided to stay. And fuck, she made it easy. If she wanted me to, I’d stay until my final breath.

It’s an asinine thought—that I would flip my world upside down for my brother’s mate. She isn’t even destined to be mine. But I will take every moment I can with her. I want to say I belong to her, even if it’s only for a short while.

I don’t even have to look up to know she’s near when she says, “Are you almost finished setting up? I’m getting a little nervous over here, thinking maybe I might chicken out. My little butterfly only took like fifteen minutes. This is going to be different. It’s going to hurt.”

I laugh and wrap my arm around her waist, pulling her against me. Her chest presses into mine as I say, “That’s not an option, Alexia. You’re getting tattooed tonight.”

She raises an eyebrow. “Oh, really?”

“Yes, really. No one else is ever putting a needle into this gorgeous, perfect skin, so if you want another tattoo... tonight’s the night.”

“Well, when you put it like that,” she says.

I lean in and capture her lips in a kiss. “In all seriousness, if you aren’t sure, we don’t have to?—”

She shakes her head and shushes me with a finger over my lips. “No, I’m excited to see what you’ve chosen for me.”

“All right, let’s go then,” I say, tilting my chin toward the leather reclined chair. I smack her ass to urge her in that direction. “Shirt off and arm on the rest with the inside of your forearm up.”

Like the obedient little thing she is, Alexia takes my chair shirtless, and I realize this is going to be really fucking difficult, focusing on what I’m doing when the view right in front of me is so damn good. I roll my chair and tray next to her and grab my marker. She watches intently as I draw blue swoops and lines on her skin. The crinkle between her eyes tells me she’s confused by my madness. Of course she doesn’t see what I do when I look at the design.

“Trust the process,” I say. “I’m going to freehand this.”

“No stencil?”

“No stencil.”

“Okay, I trust you,” she says so easily, so wholeheartedly that it makes my chest ache.

“Good,” is all I can manage without getting all emotional, and I keep drawing while she watches.

“This is really relaxing,” she says after a few minutes, and I notice her eyelids are getting droopy.

With a grin, I say, “Close your eyes while you can, Alexia. When the needles touch your skin, I guarantee you, you won’t be sleepy.”

She grits her teeth, and her eyes immediately fall shut. “You don’t have to tell me twice.”

With my rough outline complete, I set to work readying my machine. She watches me from the corner of her eye, tiny beads of sweat forming on her brow. I move a little slower just in case she needs time to gather her thoughts or to ask me to stop. I’d be a little disappointed if I couldn’t ink the piece on her, but I’d understand.

I hit the pedal to my machine and a buzz fills the quiet shop. Alexia fidgets in her chair. “Are you sure?” I ask one more time.

“Yes.”

It’s all I need to set to work. I talk to her through the process, asking questions about her teenage and college years. This woman is so intelligent. She goes on about her love for history and science. And that due to her ADHD, she had to study a lot harder than the rest of her friends (excluding Carrington) to maintain her grade point average. I’m pretty sure the only thing Carrington was studying was dance routines and boys.

Our conversations drift into the politics of our people and my thoughts on Clayton acting in my mother’s place. We talk about the secrets we keep from humans and how it is our duty to protect them from the other creatures that mean them harm in this world. She shares stories about her siblings and her very first shift before we circle around to more recent events.

“Who do you really think is stalking me?” she asks.

I wipe the black ink from her skin and continue to work. “Someone that doesn’t want to see you become queen. Maybe it’s someone with a vendetta against my brother. Goddess knows that none of us know what’s really going on with him.”

“Kai seems so unproblematic. Who would have a problem with him?” She pauses and then glances up at me, worry clouding her big, brown eyes. “Tell me the truth, Xander. Do you really think he’d hurt me? Do you actually think it could be him doing this?”

I stop tattooing. There is no way I can give my full attention to inking her when we’re discussing this topic. “The truth is that I’ve been a piss poor brother these past years. I don’t know either of my siblings the way I should. What I thought I knew about Kai has been turned on its head. I never thought he would abandon his duty to our kingdom, yet here we are with no future king. I don’t know what he’s capable of. You’re better suited to answer that than I am.”

“I don’t really know the adult Kai. We were friends when we were kids, but in college, he went his way with basketball, and I went mine with academics. Regardless, I don't think he’d hurt me.” She pauses and seems to contemplate her next words before saying them. “But I will admit, I’ve never really understood why he’s the future king and not you,” she says.

“You know why,” I say, starting back up with the inking. This part doesn’t bother me so much. Since accepting that I was destined to be without a mate, I’ve also come to terms with the fact that I would never sit on the throne. I was always all right with the latter.

“Well I know why. I just don’t get it. It’s the mate thing.” She rolls her eyes. “That’s so stupid. Your father was the actual king. You’re the oldest son. You should be king. Not Kai just because he was mated first.”

I chuckle at how easily she applies human rules to the complicated ways of shifters. Our kind has taken great strides not to be like the humans. We are the protectors of those who don’t know the truth about the paranormal, and as such, there are still rules that don’t always make sense to the younger generations. Alexia is able to see all on an equal ground, which would do the whole system some good, to be honest.

“Is it any stupider than giving someone power because of their birth order?” I ask pointedly.

She tilts her head back and forth as if considering my question and purses her lips. “Fair. That’s fair. Both things are kind of dumb. But here’s what isn’t dumb: you are the son of both the Queen and the King. Therefore, you should get to be the next ruler. Period. That’s what makes the most sense to me.”

I wipe the blood and ink away from the detailed piece I’m working on and say, “I’m happy with the life I’ve made here. This is what I wanted more than anything else—a sense of freedom. Even as a child I never imagined myself with a crown on my head. I’ve created the life I’ve always wanted with only a few holes in it.”

“Oh, well, if you don’t want to be king, then you shouldn’t be, I suppose,” she says, a slightly wistful tone to her voice. “What ‘holes’ are there in your life?” I don’t even have to look up at her to know she’s looking right at me when she asks.

“Well, one of them is something I can never get back—my parents.”

“Of course. That makes sense. I don’t remember your dad, but your mom was so kind. Everyone loved her.”

I smile as I continue tattooing her, focusing on the art to ward off the emotions threatening to burst through the surface. “Yeah. She was the best. My dad too.”

“It was a car accident, right?”

Tears spring to my eyes at the memory of the day my mom came to get me from school to tell me my dad had been in an accident on his way back from a conference in Richmond. I blink away the moisture as I wipe the excess ink off her skin. “Yeah. He was coming up Mount Selene, it was raining, and he hydroplaned.”

She reaches over with her free hand and pushes a strand of hair out of my face, tucking it behind my ear. “I’m sorry, Xander. I can’t imagine how badly that hurt, losing them both.”

“It was horrible. Not something I’d wish on my worst enemy—not even Clayton. You’re lucky to still have both of yours.”

She nods and settles back into her seat. “I know. What else? What are the other holes? What else is missing?”

I pull the needle away from her skin and glance up at her, making the conscious decision to be vulnerable. “A mate. I didn’t picture myself as king, but I always wanted someone to share my life with. The kind of love I saw between my mom and dad was something to envy. I think it’s why I pushed so hard for you and Kai at the beginning. I don’t understand how he can walk away from what I want so badly.”

She bites her lip and looks down at her lap, purposely not looking at the spot I’m tattooing. I can’t help but smile at her desire for it to be a surprise. “I never really cared that much about having a mate.” She cocks her head to the side and shakes it once. “No. That’s not true. I did when I was young, but as I got older and older and the years passed and it never happened, I decided to make myself not want it. And then when it happened with Kai, I—” She swallows, and a tear slides down her cheek. “For a second, I thought maybe it was going to happen for me. That someone would love me. But then, I realized I didn’t want it. Not with someone who didn’t want me back.”

The tattoo machine in my hand goes silent and hits the metal tray beside me with a clank . I remove my gloves and slide my thumb over her cheek, catching her tear. The pain that plunges through me is like a knife. I would rip apart this world to save her from a single tear. I might even kill my own brother to spare her this pain.

“No more talk of Kai. This is my night with you, my stolen moment that could have been his. Do you understand me?” Her gaze meets mine and she nods. “Good. Now go walk around for a second while I grab you a cup of water. We’re halfway done.”

“Okay,” she says, getting up and walking toward the window with no regard for the fact that she has no shirt on. Granted, she is wearing a bra, but I don’t want anyone on the busy sidewalk to see her like this.

She’s mine.

Stop it, Xander. She’s not yours. Not even for the night. You’re just pretending. You’re doing exactly what you just told her—stealing time while you can before the other shoe drops.

Either way, though, I don’t want anyone seeing her. I get her a glass of water and come up behind her, wrapping an arm around her waist and turning her around, making sure not to bump her outstretched arm. “Here, Alexia, drink this and we’ll get started again.”

She smiles and takes the glass from me, gulping it down in one go. “Any particular reason you’ve swept me up in your arms and whisked me away from the window?” she asks, her eyes twinkling mischievously.

“You know why. Don’t be a brat or the sting of my needle won’t be the only pain you feel tonight.” I swat her on the ass before directing her toward the chair.

We spend the next two hours lost in comfortable conversation. It feels like we leave no stone unturned. We absorb every detail we can about each other, and by the time I clean her tattoo, I feel like I’ve dug deep into who she is. I’m starting to get a clear picture of the woman Alexia Rush has become.

We walk to the floor length mirror, and I stand behind her as she takes in the details of her colorful tattoo. The depiction of the Goddess Luna with a silhouette of a wolf howling at the moon, flecked by several of her favorite butterflies, taking up the entire length of her inner forearm might be my best piece ever. Still, I hold my breath and wait for Alexia’s reaction.

Her jaw drops and she looks up at me in the mirror, her brown eyes swimming with tears. “Oh, Xander, it’s gorgeous. This is so perfect, how—how did you do this with no stencil, you just...you freehanded this.” She’s stammering, her eyes bouncing between the tattoo and my face. “You’re so talented. I—everyone needs to know how talented you are!” She spins around and places her palms on my face. “I can’t believe I have your art etched into my skin for the rest of my life. I feel so lucky.”

My lips brush her forehead. “I’m honored that you allowed me to leave my mark on your body. Thank you, Alexia.”

If only she could comprehend how sincere I am. Seeing my art on her skin is a higher honor than having it hung in a world-renowned gallery. To know people will see it and have no clue that it’s my mark on her does something to me. The ink is our secret, yet it is a clear sign. I own a little real estate on her body, and she will forever have me with her.

Fuck, it is an extraordinary feeling.