Page 27 of Trusting Skulls (Rebel Skull MC #8)

Chapter Twenty-Five

Ash

A s soon as consciousness rouses me, I realize I’m pressed against something warm and soft … a groan escapes me before I can reign it in. Lexie stirs, shushing me without opening her eyes.

“You’re okay. You’re here with me,” she mumbles quietly before going still again.

I lift my head from her chest, confused as to how we ended up on the couch together. Maybe the storm scared her last night. I faintly remember hearing a rumble of thunder as I fell asleep.

Rain still patters softly against the windows as the soft light from the sunrise begins to illuminate the forest outside. So much for our hike.

Her hand moves up my back as if searching for something. When her fingers find the back of my head, her nails trail over my scalp lightly. My eyes fall closed. It’s heavenly. Slowly, I lower myself back to her chest, letting her comfort me in her slumber.

“Shh,” she whispers again. “It’s okay, Ash. You’re here with me.”

As I lie with her, listening to her words of reassurance, it gradually begins to make sense. Bits and pieces of my nightmares begin to integrate into my current awareness. I take a deep breath, calming myself. This is something I’ve prepared myself for.

My time in the service is woven into my very being. If I’m going to let her into my life, I can’t hide it from her. If I do, it will build into a monster that neither she nor I deserve.

I smile because she didn’t run, she didn’t hide, and she didn’t even try to wake me. She handled it the best she knew how, and it was exactly what I needed. It makes me give her a tight squeeze.

Her breathing changes, and she tenses. Shit, I woke her up with my little bout of love aggression.

My thumb rubs over her stomach. “Thank you for last night,” I say quietly, not looking at her.

“Oh, it was nothing. I heard you …” She pauses. I hear the embarrassment on my behalf in the tone of her voice.

I’m not ashamed, and I don’t want her to be either. I lift my head and look at her. Her attention turns away from my embarrassment to her own. She begins to smooth her hair with her hands.

“Stop. You’re beautiful in the morning.”

She releases a little puff of air, not believing me.

I sit up, pulling her with me. She tries to stand, but I drag her to my lap, wrapping my arms around her. My chin rests on her shoulder as I wait for her to accept that she’s not going anywhere. Eventually she does.

“I’m sorry if I scared you last night,” I tell her.

“You didn’t scare me.” Her fingertip begins to trace the tattoos on my forearm. “I … I just didn’t want you to feel alone.”

Her words punch me in the gut, because I know it comes from a place of her own loneliness.

“We’re never alone,” I tell her, knowing she doesn’t share my faith.

She doesn’t argue, and her gaze goes to the windows. “It’s still raining.” She doesn’t hide her disappointment, her mouth turning down in a frown. “I was looking forward to our hike.”

“Me too, but now we get to stay inside and cuddle all day.”

Lexie giggles, turning in my arms. “Always so optimistic.”

It’s not lost on me that she doesn’t disagree with my suggestion for today. “Why don’t I get the fire going again? Then we’ll wrestle up some breakfast.”

“Jesse showed me how to make pancakes. Other than that, I don’t think I’ll be wrestling much of anything.”

“That sounds perfect to me. We’ll do it together.” She blushes, which tells me it pleases her.

“When I get home, I’m going to have Elizabeth teach me to cook.”

My gaze bounces over her face. She’s talking about JD’s as if she really feels it’s her home. It makes me happy. JD was right; she does need them right now. I look around the cabin. Her being here has served its purpose, but I think it’s time to get back to the game of life.

She’s already looking ahead. I think she’s excited even.

Me too.

“Is Elizabeth a good cook?” I ask, gently pushing her off my lap to get the fire going. It’s chilly, and I can’t have my girl being cold.

Lexie stands and stretches. “She is and so is JD. With their help, maybe I’ll actually be able to cook you a meal all by myself someday.”

I toss a log in the fireplace. “So, it sounds like you’ve given in to the idea of us.”

“I don’t know how this works, Ash, but I do know I want something different in my life. Something that doesn’t make me feel ...”

When she doesn’t finish, I turn to look at her. She’s biting her lip, struggling not to cry. I take a step to comfort her, but she puts her hand up to stop me.

“When I’m with you, I feel like a real person.

You seem to value things about me others have never noticed.

I know you still see the dark parts of me, but you don’t admonish them.

You hold space for all of me equally. I didn’t believe it could be true, but your gifts to me were so …

” Lexie looks away. “So thoughtful and kind. I don’t ever want to lose that.

” She digs the palm of her hands into her eyes. “God, I don’t want to mess this up.”

This time I don’t let her stop me. I go to her and wrap her in my arms. “There are going to be times when each of us mess up, but I made a promise a long time ago that I was going to commit to building a life with you, Lexie.”

She lays her cheek over my heart. “I’m not going to pretend I understand why you’ve chosen me, but I do want to commit to you too.”

I tighten my arms around her. I know most would think I’m crazy to trust her, but I do. Lexie can be trustworthy. I have faith in that. “You and I are going to be great together,” I tell her.

The way her green eyes sparkle with tears takes my breath away. I believe every word out of my mouth because I know in my heart we can be everything good in this world. Will it be easy?

My guess is no.

But it will definitely be worth it.