Page 24 of Trusting Skulls (Rebel Skull MC #8)

Chapter Twenty-Two

Lexie

A sh is so different from any man I’ve ever met. I’m used to men giving me just enough of themselves to get what they want from me. And not just men. Everyone in my life has done that.

My brain knew when he went to treatment that he was doing what he needed for his health. Still, my heart felt abandoned. But here he is, back where we left off. He’s still trying to take care of me. The fear isn’t of him. It’s of him leaving me.

The way he kisses me makes me want more. Unfortunately, experience has told me that once I give him more, he will leave.

When the kiss ends, he stares down at me. It sends a shiver tiptoeing down my spine.

“Stop overthinking. I’ll heat up the leftovers from last night, and then we’ll go from there. No reason to feel awkward. We’ll find our way.”

I take his hand and let him lead me to the table.

“Looks like Daisy left you a letter,” he says, sliding the folded piece of paper with my name on it toward me.

“Her handwriting is as stunning as her paintings.” I smile at the beautiful flow of my name from her hand.

Lexie,

Sorry I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye. Brody wanted to get to our next destination before dark. How exciting that you and I are both at the beginning of our Yellow Brick Road.

I also wanted to thank you for giving me Toto. I promise to take good care of him. I’ve left you a gift, too. It’s on the dresser upstairs. It was given to me by a woman who found it on the beach. She told me it was a sign that an angel was near. She was right that day. An angel was nearby.

Anyway, I can’t wait to share our adventures when I get back.

Love,

Your Soul Sister

Ash places a plate in front of me. “I told Brody to text me when they get where they’re going.”

“I’ll be right back. She left me something.” I run upstairs, and sure enough there is the little dragonfly necklace she was wearing yesterday. She must have seen me admiring it. My friend Kelsie used to have one just like it.

I hold it to my chest, remembering the day I noticed Kelsie wearing it. It was the night Ash took me to her house. The day I made a wish for Ash to be mine.

Maybe dragonflies do mean angels are nearby … maybe they do grant wishes.

When I get downstairs, my hands shake as I hand it to Ash. “I gave Daisy my Toto last night, and she left me her necklace.”

His thumb rubs over the little dragonfly. “You know, I noticed her wearing it yesterday. It’s just like the one the club women have passed around.”

“I know. It’s crazy, isn’t it?”

He pats his leg. “Sit. I’ll help you put it on.”

My heart beats steadily as I lower myself onto his knee. I don’t have to make a wish as he places it around my neck. This is the sign that it’s already been granted. He brushes my hair to the side and secures it.

Ash presses a kiss to my nape before letting my hair fall down my back. “I can’t believe you gave your little dog away. You told me you’ve had it since you were a child.”

“Thank you,” I tell him, moving back to my own chair. “I don’t remember telling you about Toto.”

He picks up his fork and starts eating. “You might have been a little intoxicated.”

“How much stuff did I tell you when I was drunk?”

His head tips from shoulder to shoulder. “Enough.”

“How embarrassing.”

He raises his hand. “Hi, my name is Ash, and I’m an alcoholic.”

I take a deep breath. He’s right. We’ve both had some shameful moments. I would never hold his lowest times against him. “Point made.”

“So why did you give it to her?”

My fingers dance over the necklace around my neck. “I don’t know. I guess I just appreciated her being here so much. I know that sounds stupid, but she didn’t make me feel crazy for being overdramatic yesterday. She just helped me through it.”

“I don’t think it’s stupid at all. Sometimes we just click with people.” He stretches back in his chair. “Do you know there’s a Wizard of Oz museum in Kansas?” he asks.

“No. Have you been there?”

He chuckles. “No, I think I saw it on social media or something.”

I sigh. “It was just one of those things I was holding on to. It’s nothing more than a relic from a past life I’ll never get back.”

“We all have those. Something to connect us to the people we love and miss. Mine is the survival guide my dad gave me.”

I shove my hands under my legs. “I’m not saying it’s bad to hold onto something, but it’s not the same for me.

I need to let go of them. Talking to Daisy last night made me realize that my parents should have been the ones to do it.

If they didn’t want me, they should have given me to someone who did.

They didn’t love me enough to let me go, so now I have to be the one to do it. ”

“That doesn’t seem fair, does it?”

“No, but it’s okay because I’ve finally found the people who do want me.”

His eyes soften. “I’ve been telling you that for months.”

“I know,” I whisper. “It seemed too good to be true.”

The phone in my pocket rings, startling me.

Ash laughs. “There’s one of those people now.”

I see Raffe’s name on the screen.

“Go on, answer it. I’m going to take a quick shower.”

“Hello?”

“Hey, Lex. How’s it going?”

I watch as Ash digs through his duffle bag. “Good. How are you?”

Ash glances at me over his shoulder.

Raffe chuckles on the other end. “I’m fine, hun. We got Rachel home yesterday. She was pretty mad at me for sharing her secret, but we talked it out. I told her I need a support team, and she admitted that she probably does too.”

“I guess talking it out works, huh?”

He sighs. “Yeah it does, even though it’s hard.”

I tuck the phone between my ear and shoulder and begin to clean up the supper dishes.

“So, please tell me you’re not still hiding up in your room.”

If that hadn’t been a real possibility, it would be funny. Would I still be up there if Brody and Daisy hadn’t showed up? I guess it doesn’t matter. I’m not up there, and I’m a bit proud that I can report something positive.

“No. In fact, I even went hiking today.”

Ash winks at me as he heads into the bathroom. The butterflies in my stomach take flight.

“You did?” It’s not that he doesn’t believe me, but he’s surprised.

“Oh my gosh, Raffe, it was amazing. We found a waterfall. Ash and I had lunch there. It was a perfect spot. For a moment, I thought I’d died and went to heaven.”

“Ah, hun, I’m glad you got outside and enjoyed the day. You’re being careful though?”

“Yes.” Raffe’s concern for my safety and the fact he even called makes me happier than I’ve felt in a long time.

“Ash made sure I was safe. It was kind of scary in spots, but he was always right there to give me a hand and to encourage me to keep going. But I have to admit, I’m feeling every mile of it now that I’ve sat down.

” I laugh, because even though my muscles are stiffening, it feels good.

“You should call JD and Elizabeth and let them know how today went. JD and I talked last night. He told me you were opening up to them, but he’s still concerned about you. I think hearing about your day would ease those worries.”

I start the water in the sink. “You’re right. I should call them.”

“That’s my girl.”

A warm feeling floods through my system at his praise.

“I have to get going. We’re having some medical supplies brought to the house tonight. But I wanted to check on you and make sure you were okay. I feel bad about the way we left.”

“It worked out, for both you and me, I think. Just please don’t forget to take care of yourself too.”

He sighs. “You’re right. It’s funny how life has a way of working out. But anyway, don’t hesitate to call if you need to talk.”

“You too.”

“Sweet dreams, hun.”

“Goodnight, Raffe.”

I finish the few dishes we have and then curl up on the couch with a blanket to call JD. I’m feeling much stronger today. I don’t know if it’s the hike, the mountain air, or the fact that I’m ready to go with the flow and see what happens. Something I’ve been afraid to do.

JD answers in a panic. “I’m on my way.”

“What? Why?”

“What’s wrong?” he asks.

“Nothing. I was just calling to check in.”

He releases a whoosh of air. “She’s okay,” he tells Elizabeth.

“Hey, sweetie,” her comforting voice comes through after JD puts the phone on speaker.

I proceed to tell them about my day. They not only listen, but they also ask questions. It’s an easy conversation, and before I know it Ash is lowering himself beside me on the couch. Freshly showered and smelling oh so good.

“I’m going to let you guys go so I can shower. That is if Ash left me any hot water,” I tease.

He shoves me in the arm. “Let me talk to them.”

“Ash wants to talk to you. I hope you guys have a good evening … I miss you,” I finish quietly. It’s still hard for me to express my true feelings out loud.

“We’re so glad you called, Lexie. We love you,” Elizabeth says.

JD also tells me goodbye with the same loving sentiment at the end. My eyes water as I hand the phone to Ash, hurrying to my room before he sees me crying again.

He’s still on the phone when I come back downstairs. Ash is telling them about his plans to build a house by his sister’s place.

“Yeah, I want to be a hands-on uncle. Jackson talked it over with Grandma Maggie, and they’re willing to sell me a few acres. Being neighbors with Willow is how we imagined living when we were kids. I’m happy as fuck it’s finally happening.”

Willow is expecting. Ash must be so excited. I love seeing him enthusiastic about becoming an uncle. Before he left for treatment, he was in a bad place. We both were. Only he was strong enough to pull himself out.

After I finish in the shower, I stand in front of the mirror, dripping water on the floor. Ash makes me want to be a better person for him; he deserves that. I turn from side to side, looking at my body. Really looking at it.

“I’m sorry I’ve been so unkind to you,” I whisper. “You deserve better, too.”