Page 26 of Touch Me Not (Manwhore #1)

“Close your eyes,” he told her, his voice calm. “Listen to the sound of the music, and don’t think about anything but the words to the song. Sing them in your head, dushka . Just listen to the music and relax.”

Lily closed her eyes and listened to the song that was playing on the radio. John Legend’s All of Me drifted through the room. She let the soft melody invade her mind and began to hum along, and her breathing slowed. The song itself was soothing, and she started to relax.

Her eyes popped open, and she looked at Nikoli in surprise. The panic was still there, but she could breathe. How had he known to do that?

“Do you remember I told you my dad was in the Marines?” he asked and continued when she nodded.

“He has PTSD, post-traumatic stress disorder. He used to have panic attacks all the time after he came home from his last assignment. It was right before he sent me to live with my uncle. My mom used to calm him down with music. I thought it might help you too. Is it helping?”

She nodded. It was helping. Her body was still stiff as a board, but her breathing was almost normal.

She felt embarrassed too. She’d thought she was getting better, but all it took to send her scurrying away like a coward was a simple touch from Adam.

He’d tried to wrap his arms around her, and that was it.

Full-blown panic mode kicked in, and she’d run.

“Hey, hey, no crying now, Milaya ,” Nikoli soothed when he saw the tears falling from her eyes. She wiped them away but couldn’t stop the tide.

“I’m sorry.” She hiccupped.

“Sorry? What do you have to be sorry for?”

“You’ve been working so hard to help me, and it’s not working. I’m sorry you’re wasting your time.”

“Hey, now, dushka , getting you better isn’t something that is going to be accomplished in a week or two, or even in a month.

We can take this as slow as you need to.

I’m not upset that you had a bad moment.

Boy Wonder shouldn’t have just up and grabbed at you.

You weren’t expecting it, and that’s why you got scared.

That’s going to happen, Lily, but you are getting better. Don’t doubt that.”

“What does dushka mean?” she asked. She always forgot to look it up.

“Nope, Lily Bells, I’m not telling.”

She shook her head and sat up, reaching for the water bottle. She took a cautious sip. Last time this happened, she’d thrown up. She had no desire to puke all over Nikoli’s new furniture, especially after scolding Luther.

“You are not what I expected,” she murmured after a minute.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you are, but you’re different too.” She thought about how to word what she wanted to say. “You’re brash, and you have this ‘fuck off’ attitude, but you’re also kind and patient. I didn’t expect that from you.”

Nikoli watched the confusion consume Lily’s expression and had to admit he was just as confused as she was.

Normally, he did have a “fuck off” attitude and would go on, but not with Lily.

Sure, he wanted her in a bad way, but he also had this inane urge to help her, to give her back everything she’d lost. He couldn’t explain it, but Lily mattered to him.

In just two weeks, she’d gone from a fuck bet to someone he cared about.

“Don’t say that out loud.” He laughed to cover his own emotions. “I have a reputation to uphold. Now, what do you want for dinner? I’m starving. I’m going to feed you then take you home.”

“What about the furniture?”

“Don’t worry about it. Luther and I will get the rest of it up later tonight. Now, what do you want to eat?”

“Cuban?” she asked, her voice hesitant.

“Sure. Joe’s always happy to see you come in. You go on and get cleaned up. I’ll deal with everyone outside, okay?”

She nodded and stood. He watched her until she closed the bathroom door then headed out to talk to everyone. Damn Adam. Boy Wonder had to always go and fuck everything up. No more.

They all waited outside, grouped around the U-Haul. He went straight for Adam, but Mike blocked his access.

“Take it easy, man. You do him any damage, and Lily might not forgive you. She loves the idiot.”

“I’m not going to hit him,” Nikoli promised. Mike didn’t budge. Smart man.

Adam glared at him from angry and belligerent eyes. The man was so jealous he couldn’t see straight. It was a feeling Nikoli himself was becoming accustomed to. “You fucking go near her again, and you won’t walk away from it.”

“She’s my best friend.” The anger rolled off Adam in waves.

“Then why the fuck would you do that?” Nikoli exploded. “You know how she is.”

“I’ve seen you touch her,” Adam said through clenched teeth. “I thought she was okay, that she was better…”

“She’s not better!” Nikoli interrupted. “She only lets me touch her because she trusts me.”

“And she doesn’t trust me?” Adam shouted.

“Obviously not,” Nikoli yelled over Mike’s shoulder.

“Calm the fuck down!” Luther intervened before Adam could say anything. “It was a mistake. Let’s all just calm down and move on.”

Nikoli snapped his mouth shut, his fist needing to hit something, Boy Wonder’s face was his first choice. Luther was right, though. As angry as Lily was with Adam, she loved him. He’d been her best friend since she was a little girl. For that reason, he wouldn’t screw his face up.

“Stay the fuck away from her,” he warned, his voice hard. “She needs to heal, and she can’t do that with you acting like a jealous fool.”

“I’m not jealous of you,” Adam denied hotly.

“You’re acting like a jealous ass, Adam,” Mike piped in.

Adam shot him a look but kept his mouth shut.

“I’m taking Lily to eat to try to calm her down,” he said and turned to go back inside. “Mike, keep him the hell away from me and from Lily, or I won’t be held responsible for what happens to him.”

He left them with that and went to check on Lily.

Joe’s was packed as always, but he managed to squeeze them into a booth near the back.

It was a little more private than some of the tables where they’d been seated when they came here, and Lily was grateful.

She wasn’t up to having everyone stare at her.

The lighting back here was dimmer, so it was a little harder for people to see her splotched face.

She looked around and settled into the booth.

This place always relaxed her. The warm tones of the wood and the subtle touches of the Cuban culture gave the place a relaxed, fun feel.

Joe’s booming voice as he greeted people made her smile.

He’d taken one look at her and leveled a baleful expression at Nikoli, who just shook his head and demanded a table.

“Tell me about Joe,” she said softly, watching him move around the restaurant.

“What about him?”

“How do you know him?”

“I eat here,” he said, his eyes not meeting hers.

She gave him a “duh” look. “Yes, but how do you know him?”

He didn’t want to get into this, at least not tonight. It might scare her. Not that he was hardcore into the lifestyle or anything, but she’d had enough of a scare already. “Does it matter?”

“Yes,” she told him. “I remember the first time we were here, the two of you seemed so…territorial. It made me curious.”

“Joe took me under his wing when I first came to Boston,” he said after a minute. If Lily was going to keep asking, he might as well tell her. “He and I share the same kind of needs in the bedroom.”

“Oh, my God, you’re bisexual!” She clapped a hand over her mouth, her expression so shocked it would have been funny if she hadn’t been staring at him, a little horrified.

“No. I. Am. Not!” Nikoli spewed the words.

She just stared at him, eyes wide. “It’s fine if you are, Nikoli.”

“Of course, it would be fine,” he said, his voice low. “There’s nothing wrong with it, but I’m not into guys.”

“Hmmm…”

“Look, I’m serious, Lily. If anyone wants to make that life choice, that’s their call. My brother Connor is bisexual, so trust me, I’m fine with anyone who makes that choice. It’s just not one I’d make.”

Wow. Lily hadn’t expected that. Or that he’d be so Zen about it either. “That’s cool your family supports his choice.”

“I didn’t say that,” he said, a wry smile decorating his face.

“My brothers and I are close, and while all of us may not agree with his choices, we do support him. My parents and my grandparents, though? They were all raised Catholic, and if they knew about Conner’s choice of partners, they wouldn’t be so happy. ”

“I know you said you supported him, but how do you feel about it?” She was curious. He’d sounded so outraged when she’d accused him of being bisexual.

“He’s my brother,” he said after a minute.

“I want him to be happy, and it doesn’t matter to me who he’s with, as long as he’s happy.

Right now, he’s in a relationship with a girl, but who knows?

A couple months from now, he might be banging some dude.

What do I care as long as my brother is happy? ”

Here was another facet to the manwhore she never suspected might exist buried under that fuck-you attitude. He just kept surprising her.

The smile that broke across Lily’s face made him stop breathing. Her entire face lit up like an angel shining her grace upon him.

“So, back to Joe,” she said, her smile still in place. “Where did you two meet? Here at the restaurant?”

“No, I met him at Bastian’s,” he continued. “It’s a sex club.”

She didn’t look shocked at that, which irritated him.

“Joe saw I needed control in sexual situations, but back then, I wasn’t so good at it. I fumbled a lot. Joe took me under his wing and taught me how to have that control and still make sure the woman came out as satisfied as I was.”

“So, what he and you…” She trailed off and wiggled her eyebrows at him.

“No!” he hissed. “I’m not into men. I already told you that. They don’t do a thing for me.”

“Then what did he do, exactly?”