Page 15 of Touch Me Not (Manwhore #1)

CHAPTER ELEVEN

“Kade is the oldest.” Nikoli kept his focus on the road when he answered her. “Dimitri, Viktor, Connor, then me, and Mason is the youngest at twenty.”

“Six boys?” Wow. “I bet your mama had her hands full.”

“You’ve no idea. If one of us wasn’t bleeding all over her floor, then we were fighting. She has this look that could make us feel both embarrassed and ashamed in a heartbeat.”

“I think all mothers have that look.” Her own mother certainly did. She’d used it when Lily announced her plans to move to Boston for college.

“How about you?” Nikoli asked. “Do you have any other brothers or sisters?”

Lily nodded. “Mom remarried when Laney and I were fourteen.”

“You were twins?” Nikoli interrupted.

“Identical.”

They couldn’t have been more different, though.

Laney hated the racetrack, hated cars in general.

She’d have rather stayed home and helped Mom with whatever.

Lily grew up on the racetrack, Laney grew up shopping and learning how to be the future prom queen.

No matter how different they were, though, they were also the same.

They loved each other more than anything in the world.

The were two halves of the same whole. When Laney died, part of Lily died with her.

She still felt empty, a piece of her missing without her twin.

Sometimes it was a physical ache that hurt so badly, she had to lie down until it passed.

It was just one more thing she lived with.

“So, back to your question. I have a little brother and sister. Twins again. They run in my mom’s family. Mia and Mitchell.”

“Does your fear apply to them too?” Nikoli asked softly.

Lily let out a sigh. She wished to God she could say no. They were babies and didn’t understand why she wouldn’t play with them or hold them or even kiss them. She loved them to death, but she couldn’t physically show it.

“I’m guessing that’s a yes?” At her nod, he said, “Well, we’ll fix that soon enough, Lily Bells.”

“Tell me about growing up in Russia.” She needed to get off this line of questioning. It was making her nervous. Just talking about her psychosis made her neurotic. She wanted to enjoy the day, not slump into a depression.

“I’ll tell you all about Russia if you do one thing for me.” Nikoli’s even and calm tone put Lily’s defenses on red alert. He was up to something.

“What?” she asked suspiciously.

“Don’t look at me like I’ve just asked you to commit felony murder. It’s something simple.”

“What?” she asked again, suspecting it was something worse than felony murder.

“I want you to touch me.”

She stared at him. He kept his eyes on the road. He wanted her to touch him? Definitely worse than felony murder.

“You can poke my arm with your finger if you want,” he offered, keeping his tone light.

“Why?”

“Because, as I’ve said before, you have to be comfortable with me…”

“And you think I’m going to get there by you forcing me to do something I don’t want to do?” Her voice sounded shrill even to her, but she couldn’t help it. She was already starting to panic just thinking about it.

“I’m not forcing you,” he said calmly. “You want to hear about Russia, I want you to touch me. It’s a fair trade. If you can’t do it, then we’ll talk about something else.”

Lily took several deep breaths, trying to calm herself.

She closed her eyes and counted to twenty like one therapist had taught her to do.

This was what she’d asked him to help her with, to learn to tolerate someone’s touch.

Nikoli was even giving her the control in letting her touch him. Could she do it, though?

Fingertips ran down her arm from shoulder to hand, and she flinched away from them. Her eyes snapped open, and she looked at Nikoli, but his eyes were still fixed on the road.

“Sneak attack?” she spat. How dare he? He’d said she could touch him, and here he went and took that little bit of control away.

His grinned verified he wasn’t the least bit repentant. “Yup.”

Bastard.

“Choice is yours, Lily Bells. We can talk about Russia, or you can tell me about growing up on the racetrack.”

“Why don’t you tell me something else about yourself instead?” Russia would have to wait. She wasn’t ready to touch him yet. It was too soon.

“Nope. You want to know something about me, you know the price.”

She gasped. “You…you…you…”

He reached over and hovered a finger in front of her lips, not touching her, but she got the point.

“Uh-uh, Milaya . If you want to know something about me, it’s going to cost you.

A simple touch. That’s all. If you’re not ready, then you’re not ready, but that’s the price of asking me questions about myself. ”

Bastard.

“Be pissed all you want, but those are the rules.”

“I thought you said we’d do this with patience.” He said one thing but did another. What the ever-loving hell?

“I’m being very patient, Lily.” His gaze swung her way, and she stopped breathing.

She could see the blind lust in his eyes.

“Your version of patience and mine are two entirely different things. If I did what I wanted, I’d stop the car and take you right here, right now, but I’m not doing that, am I? Instead, I’m giving you options.”

“Options?” she nearly choked out. “I don’t call those options. More like hostage negotiations.”

He laughed. “Hostage negotiations? Well, now, milka , I think I can do that if you’d prefer. It’s just as easy to tie you up and touch you. I’d like it too.”

“I don’t even know what to say to that,” she squeaked.

His grin was downright evil. “When we do that, Milaya , talking will be the last thing on your mind.”

“You think I’d let you tie me up?” She gave him an are-you-out-of-your-mind look.

“Yes, Lily,” he said, turning his attention back to the road. “You are going to let me do just that. Not yet, but soon enough.”

“You’re insane if you think I’d ever agree to that.”

“We’ll see.” He smiled. “Are you hungry yet? It’s almost noon, and we still have another hour to go before we get to Windham.”

She was hungry, and her stomach rumbled at the mention of food.

Nikoli grinned at her reaction to the mention of food and pulled into a diner of some sort a few minutes later.

They got out of the car and she looked around at the bustling small town.

She hadn’t even realized they were in a town. “Where are we?”

“We’re in Norwalk according to the GPS.” Nikoli opened the door to the diner and led her inside. “Weren’t you paying attention to it?”

He could ask her that after his nonsense in the car? She shook her head but followed the waitress to a booth in the back. It was a charming little place, seaside themed, but then again, they were near the coast. The waitress took their drink orders and left them to look at the menu.

“What are you frowning at?” Nikoli asked. She’d been glaring at the menu for the last few minutes.

“Do you think they have fresh fish or frozen?”

“We’re in Massachusetts, Lily. They have fresh fish.”

“Ohmygosh, haven’t you ever seen Kitchen Nightmares , Restaurant Impossible, or other shows like it?”

“Uh, no?”

Her eyes widened. “They’re shows that tell you what really goes on behind the scenes in a restaurant. You wouldn’t believe the things I’ve seen…”

“Is that why you asked for no ice?” Nikoli asked. She looked so appalled he’d never seen the shows.

“Yes! Do you know how many places don’t clean their ice machines? Have you ever seen what the bacteria that grows on them looks like when they aren’t cleaned?”

“Nope, not a clue.” Nikoli shifted, bringing his right foot up to sit beside her left leg on the seat.

“What are you doing?” she asked, but before she could scoot, he moved his other foot, trapping her. He didn’t touch her, but he refused to let her move away from him.

“Stretching my legs,” he said. “Three hours of driving, and they need it.”

“Well, then, go take a walk or something, but move your feet.”

“No.”

“No?” she asked incredulously, and he chuckled. “This is not funny, Nikoli.”

“I’d disagree. It’s about as funny as you calling me a manwhore in front of everyone this morning.”

The poor waitress picked that minute to show up. Julie, as her name tag read, blushed a bright cherry red and gave him a look he did not appreciate. “Are you…uh…um…ready to…order?”

“Cheeseburger and fries.” Nikoli scowled at Lily. She was grinning from ear to ear. Damn woman. He was not a whore!

“Is the fish fresh?” Lily asked, smirking at Nikoli.

“Yes, of course. The owner gets it from the docks every morning.”

“Chowder, then, thank you.” Lily smiled at her and handed over the menus. The girl nearly ran from the table. “Don’t blame me. That was all you, buster.”

“You’re supposed to be helping me with my reputation, Lily Bells, not causing it further damage.”

“Kinda hard to do when you blurt out things worse than a girl.”

Nikoli’s mouth fell open, and Lily burst out laughing. He was going to wring her neck yet.

“Are you going to move your feet?” she asked again.

“No.” She frowned, and he shifted both feet closer to her.

He still wasn’t touching any part of her, but she started to fidget.

He was hoping she’d get the nerve to push his feet away from her.

It would force her to touch him. That first touch was going to be the hardest. He wanted it out of the way quickly.

It was like the first time you rode your bike without training wheels.

You knew you were going to fall. It was inevitable, but once you did, you got up, climbed back on, and took off again.

That first fall was the hardest, but once you knew what was coming, you were okay with it happening again.

She would be fine once she got over that initial contact.

“Why the hell not?” she demanded.

“Because I like you trapped,” he purred. “It makes me happy.”

“Do I look like I care if your perverseness makes you happy or not?” she snapped. “I’m not happy, so move your damn feet.”