Page 71 of Total Creative Control

It was so pathetic it was almost funny.

Only it wasn’t funny at all. It was fucking heartbreaking.

“Welcome, welcome,” Charlie gushed, ushering them into his huge office. He too was dressed more formally today, in dark trousers and a blousy white shirt reminiscent ofPoldark.

Floor-to-ceiling windows dominated one end of the room, looking out over a grey and gloomy morning. Platters of pastries and fruit had been laid out for them, and the smell of fresh coffee filled the air.

“I hope you’re all well rested and ready to get creative?” Charlie said, rubbing his hands together. “Mils sends her apologies. She and Geoff are, uh, empathy mapping this morning.”

Toni smiled, Lewis grunted, and Aaron remained silent.

He had so much feeling knotted up inside, he was afraid it would all come spilling out if he so much as opened his mouth. So, he made a beeline for the coffee and poured himself a generous mugful. Lewis appeared next to him, making himself a tea, stirring in several sugars. Aaron was as aware of him as he would have been the sun, his skin burning every time Lewis cast a look his way. Which was often. Quick, nervous glances that only served to remind Aaron that Lewis regretted what had happened the night before. Deeply.

Aaron ignored those looks, keeping his gaze on his coffee. Lewis’s attention was unbearable, and anyway, what did he expect to see?

“How’s the head this morning?” Charlie asked, strolling towards them both but addressing only Lewis. His brow furrowed in a reasonably good impersonation of sympathy.

“Hmm?” Lewis said, looking up from stirring his tea. “Oh, uh. Fine.”

Toni said, “I was about to ask you the same question, Charlie.” Her tone was surprisingly sharp. “Weallhad rather a lot to drink last night.”

“Me? I’m fine. Drank a pint of kombucha before bed.” Charlie squeezed Lewis’s shoulder. “But turmeric tea is what you need for a hangover, my friend. With a little cayenne pepper for a kick.”

“Yeah, whatever. I’m not hungover.” Lewis manoeuvred his shoulder free of Charlie’s grip. Lewis was not a hugger; he really didn’t much like being touched at all.

Except last night…

Jesus, Aaron could still feel the silky-smooth skin of Lewis’s shoulders beneath his palms, hear his low groan of pleasure and relief. Aaron’s heart kicked painfully at the memory. Grabbing a Danish to go with his coffee, he turned away and went to sit at the table.

Truth was, his stupid heart had broken this morning. And, God, every hackneyed word he’d ever written about angst and pining was a fucking lie—there was nothing romantic about this feeling. It just really bloody hurt. Physically and emotionally. All he wanted to do was curl up in the dark and howl out his misery.

Not that he had anybody to blame but himself. He’d known last night how this would play out. He’d known it would be a one-time deal—allLewis’s conquests were transitory.

Aaron’s mistake was bigger than that, though. It went so much deeper than regretting a casual hook-up. Last night had exposed the truth he’d been hiding from for years—that he’d become a walking cliché, the PA who’d fallen in love with his boss.

A boss who didn’t want him.

Well, of course he didn’t. Why would he? Lewis was exceptional: talented, charismatic, and gorgeous. He could have anyone he wanted. And Aaron? Even the thought brought a lump to his throat, but it was the truth, and it had to be faced: Aaron had just been convenient.

Lewis had reached for him when he needed comfort, and Aaron had given himself over with pathetic eagerness. Last night, everything had felt so natural and easy, a mutual reaching for one another, but his eyes were clearer this morning, and he could see that he’d only been a convenient fuck. A comfort fuck. One Lewis had immediately regretted.

Suboptimal.

He winced at the memory.

“Okay?” Lewis said, taking the seat next to him. He looked uncertain and concerned, which pissed Aaron off. He didn’t need Lewis’s pity.

“Fine,” he said shortly, grabbing his Danish. He didn’t think he’d be able to force anything down his throat, which was so clogged with emotion he could barely swallow, so he set about shredding it in between sips of his scalding coffee.

After a tense silence, and in a tone of faux jollity Aaron had never heard before, Lewis said, “The pastries are pretty good!” And took a huge bite of his croissant.

Whatever. Aaron didn’t have the bandwidth to deal with Lewis’s morning-after-the-night-before awkwardness. He just wanted to get this nightmare over with. He was in survival mode now. All he had to do was get through this meeting, this day, the rest of this cursed weekend, so that he could fall apart in the privacy of his own flat.

One step at a time, he told himself.One minute at a time, one breath at a time.

Toni joined them at the table. She looked tense, business-like. Which was no wonder, really, given how much rode on this meeting. Aaron had been so caught up in his own drama that he’d almost forgotten the reason they were here in the first place: to strike a deal with Telopix. One that would benefit RPP financially and launch Lewis into a different league.

Across the table, Toni’s eyes met his and narrowed in a silent question. Maybe she was trying to ask how Lewis was doing this morning, but since Aaron had no real idea, he just gave a little shrug. Toni’s lips tightened, but she didn’t say anything, busying herself with pulling out her notes for the meeting instead. Aaron did the same, opening up his laptop, acting the part of efficient, unassuming Aaron Page.