Page 50 of Total Creative Control

“Um, well…” Seeming startled by the question, she glanced at Charlie, who was lounging at her side in a semi-reclined pose like an under-endowed Greek god in a onesie.

“I think we’ve learned how deeply we’re bonded,” Charlie said, squeezing Milly’s thigh. “Our bodies are as sympatico as our minds, right, Mils?”

On the other side of the circle, Geoff emitted a distressed huff.

Into the awkward silence that followed, Toni said, “Well,I’velearned that I need to join a yoga class. I can’t believe how stiff I am!”

Hippolyta smiled benignly. “I would advocate a regular yoga practice to anyone.” Her gaze turned to Lewis, rested there for a moment, and when he didn’t speak, she moved to Aaron. “Do you have any observations to share, Aaron?”

Tersely, he said, “My observation is that a workshop like this isn’t for everyone.”

“That’s certainly true. As I said at the beginning, anyone can step out if they feel it’s becoming too intense.”

“But intensity is what we need!” Charlie objected, surging upright. “We need it to blast through the blockers and release our creative vision.”

“That’s interesting, Charles,” said Hippolyta. “Are you happy to tell us about a block you’ve discovered this morning?”

“Well, obviously,I’mpretty free-flowing, creatively. But within the group I sense some negative energy. Some parochial thinking.”

Lewis’s hackles rose. “Somewhat?”

“Nobody’s fault.” Charlie raised a placating hand. “No blame here. We’ve all travelled a road to reach this point. We’ve all faced challenges. And inevitably they’ve left a mark.” He sent a speaking glance Lewis’s way.

What the fuck?The nerve in Lewis’s shoulder pinched hard, making him wince.

“But we can’t let our baggage stop us from forging a new path,” Charlie went on. “Even if it’s difficult, we must tear off our labels and free ourselves to embrace a new direction.”

“Oh, totally,” Milly echoed. “We have to reject labels. I mean, I literally hate the ‘Oxbridge’ label, you know? It’s like, yah, I went to Oxford. So what? It doesn’t define me.”

Charlie rubbed her thigh again. “You’re so much more than that, Mils. So much more.”

Hippolyta looked displeased. “That’s not...exactly the purpose of this workshop, Charles.”

“Nonsense.” He bared his shark’s smile at her, full of teeth. “The workshop is about whatever we need it to be about. Isn’t that what you told me? Personally, I’m finding it incredibly liberating.”

“Incredibly,” Milly echoed.

Lewis tipped his head to one side, trying to stretch out the sore muscle. The twinge in his neck was getting worse, and so was the nausea. Now there was a smell, familiar and unpleasant… He sniffed the air. Whatwasthat? Disinfectant? It smelled like a hospital. He tried to shake it off, ignoring the way his heart had started galloping and the sudden outbreak of sweat on his forehead.

“All right.” Hippolyta sounded curt. “Let’s return to our pairs. I want to explore opposition again. Think about free movement and bound movement, about the ways in which you bind yourself and can free yourself. Take hold of your partner’s hand and pull while the other resists. How does that feel?”

Back on their mat, Lewis was vaguely aware of Aaron taking his hand, but he was distracted by the disinfectant smell, and the nausea, and the pain in his shoulder.

Where the fuck was that smell coming from?

He looked around. Milly had Charlie pinned to the mat, both of them laughing and writhing. Lewis ignored them. Toni and Geoff were engaged in a desperate discussion with Hippolyta, who was squatting next to them, and—

Something caught his eye. A stack of chairs, pushed up against the far wall in a neat pile. The kind of chairs you might see at a conference.

Or in a waiting room.

The nerve in his neck twanged so hard he gasped and clutched his shoulder.

And suddenly, he was back there. That night.

Exhausted by fear and grief, gritty-eyed, trying to sleep on the comfortless plastic chair beneath the neon glare of the hospital lights, his head twisted at an awkward angle. But the pain in his neck was nothing to the pain in his breaking heart.

You can come in now, boys, the doctor said gently.It’s time to say goodbye to Mum.