Page 67 of Total Creative Control

It was not the first time in his life that Lewis had woken up in bed with a man only to feel swamped with regret, but it was definitely the worst of all the times it had happened. Because this morning, the man in his bed was Aaron Page, and that made everything different.

Even the regret was different. It wasn’t the simple, hard-edged regret of letting someone stay over when he couldn’t be arsed dealing with them the next day. No, this regret was far more profound and tainted with a complex mix of other feelings.

At some point in the night, their bodies had separated. Now Lewis lay on his back, staring at the ceiling while Aaron lay on his side, facing away from Lewis.

Lewis turned his head to look at him. At the tousled light brown hair on the pillow, the pale, freckled shoulders. Aaron was still sleeping, his body relaxed, breathing deep and even.

Lewis turned his gaze back to the ceiling. His stomach was knotted with anxiety. All he could think about was Aaron leaving him. He could actually picture Aaron standing in front of him, saying,“I don’t think I can continue working with you any more…”

Fuck.

He couldn’t let that happen. He couldn’t lose Aaron.

Why,whyhad he done the one thing guaranteed to fuck everything up?

But Jesus, the sex had been good. Really, really good.

He’d loved that Aaron had let him take charge. Not in a dom-in-a-leather-harness way, just in the way he’d let Lewis touch him however he’d wanted. Let him determine the path and pace of what they’d done. Lewis had loved that. More often than not, he had to compromise on his preference for being in control in bed. Sometimes other guys just weren’t into it. Sometimes, even when they said they were—when they used words like ‘submissive’ about themselves—they turned out to be incredibly bossy about how they wanted to be topped. It was rare to find someone who was truly in tune with him. But Aaron…yeah, Aaron had been perfect. Easily trusting, unbelievably responsive.

Maybe, partly, it had been because they already knew each other so well?

Fuck, now Lewis’s dick was hard again. He squeezed his eyes closed and started giving it a silent lecture in an attempt to will the erection down.

There’s no point getting all excited. This is not going to be happening again. This was a one-off.

If he could convince Aaron of that, maybe he could actually salvage this? Maybe their working relationship could survive one, isolated mistake?

He had to at least try. He couldn’t risk losing Aaron forever.

Just then, Aaron shifted.

“Hmpf.” He turned onto his back and yawned, blinking his eyes open sleepily, only to recoil—yes, actually fuckingrecoil—when he saw Lewis lying beside him. He stared at Lewis wide-eyed for a moment. Lewis could practically see the moment his brain came online and understanding dawned in his grey gaze, his cheeks flushing pink.

“Good morning,” Lewis said, amazed at how ordinary he sounded. He might have been walking past Aaron’s desk on his way into his office, hot chocolate in hand.

“Morning,” Aaron whispered in response. He searched Lewis’s face, and Lewis could only hope his attempt at projecting calm ease was working.

“So,” Lewis said, when Aaron remained silent. “This situation is… suboptimal.”

“Suboptimal,” Aaron repeated slowly.

Christ, this was not a conversation to be had lying down. Quickly, Lewis sat up, only to realise that had the effect of baring his chest.Shit. There was nothing for it but to bite the bullet and grab some clothes. He jumped out of bed, located his discarded boxers on the floor, and yanked them on in record time, then grabbed a t-shirt out of his case and pulled that on too.

By the time he was done, Aaron was sitting up, the duvet pulled up to his chin. He looked miserable, and a pang of guilt stabbed Lewis.

“This is all very regrettable,” he said briskly, “but you need to know that I take full responsibility.”

Aaron blinked. “You… do?”

Lewis nodded emphatically. “I don’t blame you, Aaron. This is on me.”

When Aaron’s eyes flashed, Lewis felt a stab of unease.

“And why would that be?” Aaron said with acid sweetness. “Because you’resoirresistible, I can hardly be blamed for dragging you into bed?”

“What?” Lewis said. “No! I just mean, you know,I’mthe boss. I should have stopped this before it even started.”

Aaron said nothing, but his face was set and unhappy. It was an expression he very rarely wore—there had only been two other times that Lewis could think of, and on both occasions, Aaron had threatened to leave his job. He had only agreed to stay when Lewis had thrown all pride to the wind and begged him to reconsider.