Page 89 of Too Far

“I can’t lose you, Josephine. Not to this life.”

Silent tears stream down my face, catching in the strip of dark hair that disappears below his waistline as I squeeze him tighter.

He cups my face in both hands and regards me. His eyes are filled with so much devotion. Taking a knee in front of me, he kisses away the moisture, then closes his eyes and rests his forehead against mine. “I love you, too,” he whispers into the inch of space between us.

I’m so damn tired of the ever-present space that separates us.

“Show me.”

Decker pushes me back and climbs onto the mattress, straddling me as he captures my mouth with his.

With shaky hands, he rips at my shirt, my bra, my pants and underwear. I’m naked in no time.

Shivers rack up my spine as he takes in every inch of me. His examination is like a physical touch, heating me, winding me up tighter, triggering the need for him that’s been hounding me for weeks.

He hauls himself up onto his knees and shoves down his boxer briefs. When he’s naked before me, he buries his face in my hair and kisses me like it’s his last day on earth and I’m his final meal.

Pressing his forehead to mine, he searches my eyes for a long moment. Then, with his lips parted, he lowers us onto the bed, lines himself up, and pushes in.

I gasp, and he groans. Finally, our bodies come together in a union I’ve anticipated for so, so long.

“Decker.” I grip his shoulders, pulling him closer, desperate for him to bury himself as deep as he can and never let me go.

“I’m right here, baby. I’ve got you. I won’t let anyone get to you ever again.” His words are a solemn vow.

Slowly, he thrusts, pulling all the way out, then sliding in to the hilt, over and over, making sure we both feel every inch of this connection.

Tears well in my eyes. Intrusive thoughts try to burrow their way in, threatening to steal away my grasp on reality, but I push them away.

I can’t let them win, because I can’t lose him.

Not now that I love him. Not now that I know he loves me, too.

But he’s holding back. Why does it always feel like he’s holding back?

“Decker,” I whimper, tears flowing freely as I lose the battle with my emotions.

“What’s wrong?” He freezes, holding himself in a plank above my body.

It’s too much.

It’s not enough.

It never has been with him.

“Please.” I grasp at his shoulders, begging him to lower himself again. Pleading for the closeness I crave. “Please, Decker. Hold me. Fuck me. Make love to me. Make me forget.”

His eyes widen and his lips part, but he gives me what I want. He lowers himself and covers my body with his own. That’s all I need in this moment. He’s all I need.

“You’re okay, Siren. You’re okay.”

He repeats the words, over and over, grinding his hips against me. Now, his cock barely moves as he fucks me into the mattress, keeping us wholly connected.

“Right here, baby. Look at me.”

Obediently, I meet his gaze, and in that moment, every worry and every fear are sapped from my soul. I lose myself in Decker’s eyes, in his solemness, in his assurances.

“No one’s getting to you. Not today. Not ever again.”