Page 77 of Too Far

We hold each other as seconds tick into minutes. His posture gives him away—he’s bone-tired and more than ready for bed. Yet he doesn’t let go. He doesn’t rush us back to the house so he can rest.

We should go. We all know it. Yet we hang back. A sense of foreboding washes over me each time we get on the boat and head to the isle. Based on the way the boys hesitate at the marina, I think they feel it, too.

Right here. Right now. This is the only sanctuary we’re guaranteed. Anything we want to do or say has to happen in this parking lot.

“How was practice?” I hedge.

Thick lashes fan against his cheeks as he closes his eyes and shakes his head.

“Nicky…”

“I’m out this week.”

It takes a few seconds for his words to register.

“You talked to your coaches about sitting out?”

He barks a sad, defeated laugh and releases his hold on me to bury his face in his hands. “Fuck. I wish.”

The frustration rolling off him is palpable. When I pull him back in, his hands clench into fists at my back. An instant later, though, he hisses in pain and drops them to his sides.

“I’m here,” I remind him, nuzzling into his chest. “Talk to me.”

His responding sniff snags my attention. I glance up in time to see a tear start its lonely trek down his face.

Pushing up on tiptoes, I kiss it away.

It takes several more heartbeats, but finally, he speaks. “Couldn’t make it through practice.” He sniffs again. “Couldn’t even set up on the line of scrimmage. Coach is worried I’ll trigger too many false starts. Both knees… the knuckles on my right hand… Fuck. Everything hurts, Joey.”

He hunches forward, resting his forehead on my shoulder, and shudders.

Gingerly, I run my hands up and down his back. “I’m so sorry you’re in pain,” I murmur, hoping to give him a modicum of respite from his misery. “But I’m glad you don’t have to stress about the game this weekend.”

With a huff, he snaps up. “I wanted the choice, though. I know it’s the right call… but I wanted it to be my fucking choice.”

My heart crumples for him. That’s a sentiment I understand completely.

Glancing over my shoulder, I find Kylian and Kendrick focused on us. They’ve maintained their distance, though, respecting that this is the only moment of authenticity we’ll be granted all night.

To that end, I hold Nicky tighter, mourning the lack of control that comes with his RA right along with him. There’s nothing to say. There’s nothing I can do. So I hold him, and I hope that, in my arms, he knows he’s not alone in this.

After another minute, a shiver ripples through me. I try to stop it, to hide it so the moment doesn’t have to end, but I’m unsuccessful.

“You’re cold,” Locke says, rubbing his hands up and down my arms. “We’re all tired. Let’s go home.”

I plant my feet and shake my head against his chest. “I’ll stand out here with you all night if you want.”

He takes me in and holds my gaze, then kisses me on the forehead. “I know you would. And knowing you love me that much is enough. Let’s go.”

Chapter 31

Josephine

Kendrickstandsatthehelm, charting a direct course over the lake as we head toward the isle.

It’s a cooler evening. The sky is filled with clouds that cast full coverage over the half moon as they move. Each time they block out its light, the darkness that veils us is potent, eerie. Surely we’ve been out on similar nights, but tonight, my thoughts linger on the black sky and lack of stars.

Once we boarded, I sat on one of the speedboat’s cushioned benches and convinced Nicky to lie down with his head in my lap.