Page 57 of Too Far

Please. Let this be enough.

At what could be a full minute or maybe only a beat of my heart—because all semblance of time and logic evaporates from my mind where Decker Crusade is concerned—he pulls back.

It’s subtle. But it’s there.

A necessary retreat. Commitment, determination, and discipline that I don’t possess.

He places one last achingly soft kiss on my lips. “Be good tonight, Siren. Next week at this time, we’ll be home free. Everything will be different soon.”

I nod, dazed and more than a little love drunk as Decker extends his arms, shifts away from the door, and ensures I have my balance before turning away from me.

When the door opens and light from the hall spills in, I watch him leave, focusing on the strain in his shoulders and the way he holds his head high. He’s all confidence and swagger as he exits the pantry without a glance back.

Fuck. Watching him walk away guts me.

Emotion clogs my throat, and my eyes well with tears.

It’s ridiculous, an overdramatic reaction to the responsible choice he’s making. The choice he and I both know is right.

We just have to get through this week.

Tread lightly for a little while longer.

I blink away the moisture in my eyes and take a long, cleansing breath.

We’re so close to having what feels like a beautiful version of something real.

But as I slip out of the pantry and gently latch the door behind me, I can’t help but feel like it’s not enough.

What I want, what he’s able to give.

What will we do if, in the end, it’s simply not enough?

Chapter 23

Decker

Iwouldhavestayedin the pantry with her forever.

I could drag in a mattress. Build a pillow fort. Hole up in our little hideaway, just me and her, soft lips and lingering touches.

Hell, I’d even let the guys join us.

They make her happy. So damn happy.

And after last night?

I want to make her that happy for the rest of my life.

If she wants to be with all of us, I want to give her that. I want to make the life we’re daring to dream for ourselves possible.

But my current position comes with responsibilities I can’t avoid. Boxes that must be checked before I’m afforded a life where privacy is a given, not a highly sought-after privilege.

I blow out a long breath, forcing myself to forge on.

I don’t dare look back.

Because I’m a coward.