Page 87 of To Scale the Emerald Mountain

“I’m not bothering you? I can go back…” But my feet contradict my words as they move on their own, gravitating towards the stairs; towards him.

Shining light blazes in Alec’s eyes, and a soft glow purrs in my chest.

“You could never bother me, Elly.” Alec subtly wets his lips and visibly tries—and fails—to suppress a grin.

Walking to the desk, Alec pulls a chair next to his. I ignore the obvious gesture and take a seat on the opposite side of the desk. His smile falls slightly at the rejection as he pulls a small silver case towards himself. Inside is a line of black cigarettes. Alec sets one between his lips and strikes a match to light it, illuminating his full, expressive mouth.

I avert my eyes.

He exhales a plume of spicy smelling smoke before asking me, “Were you looking for anything in particular?” He casually slides back into his chair and takes a long drag from his cigarette.

“Just something to read. Didn’t see anything interesting.”

“No, I am afraid you will not find exciting reading material here. I can show you the formal library, if you would like.” Hope glimmers in his warm brown eyes. I can only shake my head. Theidea of that kind of intentional time together constricts my chest; my throat. He takes another deep drag and nods, blowing smoke out of his nose and mouth simultaneously. “Perhaps another day.”

The ticking of the clock eats the charged silence between us.

“You smoke?” The question escapes me without a thought.

Alec chuckles softly and gives me another small smile that makes my heart patter. “Apparently I do now. Does it bother you?” He moves his hand towards the ashtray, preparing to put it out.

“I don’t mind.”

His gaze is so intense—those brown depths piercing through to my very soul.

“How did you get the scars on your shoulder?” The question is a desperate attempt to break myself out of Alec’s pull. Not the best subject, because now I’m thinking about him fighting—dripping sweat and muscles working.

My heart rate increases and a warm blush crawls across my cheeks.

Alec notices my shift. He scans the visible portions of my body and gives me a slow, cocky smile.

I scowl at him and place my arms on either side of the chair, about to push myself up to leave. “Never mind.”

He laughs and indicates his head back towards my chair. “It is a very interesting story. I will certainly tell you, but I am afraid the timing must be right.”

Gods, he smiles a lot.

My head shakes as I scoff, but I lower myself back into the seat. “Of course. When the time is right.”

Alec’s smile softens. “I am not trying to keep a secret, my clove. That story is dear to my heart—as are you—and I will do it justice.”

“Yes, so dear to your heart that you left me in Brhadir for all those years?” My brow cocks at him in question, using our final conversation in Crane Hills against him. Fire eats through my chest.

Why am I doing this?

His face falls, and he rubs a large hand over it. “Fuck. I deserved that.”

Alec swallows and inhales deeply from his cigarette. It’s only now that I notice the spicy hint: clove.

I don’t allow myself to process what that means.

His full lips wrap around the tip as he draws another inhale and stamps it out in a glass tray; the ember explodes with small sparks that instantly die.

“I almost brought you back here the moment I found you. But I ignored my selfishness. You were so young, and I had lifetimes to live and experience before you. It was not fair to rip you from your family and who you could be. And it was also important to maintain appropriateness as our relationship progressed throughout the stages of your life.”

The ball of Alec’s throat bobs, and I fight the burning sting behind my eyes.

“I have wondered every single day for the last several months if I could have spared what happened—spared you your pain—had I only been selfish. I failed to protect you.” Alec places a hand slowly over mine, gently squeezing my fingers with unspoken words.