Page 136 of To Scale the Emerald Mountain

And then when I had what I needed all along right in front of me, I pushed him away.

I let Locane win.

My sobs begin to calm, but my hold on Alec’s lifeless body stays firm, my blood slicked arms clutching him against me. In Alec’s death, it’s as if the Fates are wrenching my soul from my body—tearing the fabric of myself to shreds to join my mate in death.

My chest squeezes tightly; so tightly I will surely die from it. I welcome the idea of death, hope for the slowing of my breaths and for my heart to go still. For there is no life without Alec.

Just as he told me, my life is meaningless if he isn’t in it.

I won’t survive this, and the thought of joining my mate in true death brings me relief.

The crushing weight on my chest intensifies. I can’t stop myself from clutching the spot above my heart, crying out with the jarring pain.

My heartbeat is heavy and sharp with waves of fire, like a branding iron being plunged repeatedly into the organ with each reluctant pump.

When I’m certain I’m going to succumb to the agony, the precious light that lived within me flares back to life, bright and fierce with white hot flame.

I scream again just as a wet, rattling breath gasps beneath me.

Disbelieving, I look down to Alec, wide eyed and bleeding chest heaving—struggling to get a full breath.

He pulls away from my arms to roll over onto all fours before clutching his chest and bellowing an animalistic roar, the sound echoing against the sandstone walls around us.

Alec heaves. Once, twice, three times before vomiting blood and tissue matter all over the stones beneath him. He repeats the action as I sit on my knees, bracing myself with one hand and watching the gory scene—stunned into silence.

The burning heat in my chest has eased to a light, pleasurable ache, like poking at an almost healed bruise. I keep my hand over my heart and the blazing light within, wrapping my head around what’s happening and willing it to be real.

When Alec finishes expelling the contents of his stomach, he pants heavily, spitting and wiping his mouth. He pushes to his feet, groaning loud. His hair is a wild mess; his inky black strands are wet and shining with streaks of red. Blood coats Alec’s face, neck, and most of his body. He rests his hands on his knees, bent forward, trying to catch his breath.

As his weary gaze meets mine, my eyes go wide.

“You… You can’t die?” I squeak out in disbelief.

Alec’s eyes turn hard, and he spits another mouthful of blood, rubbing his chest as he stands erect. He stalks towards me until his full height towers over my cowering form on the ground.

His face contorts with piercing fury.

“I am so sorry to disappoint,” Alec seethes before roughly reaching down and pulling me to my feet beneath my arms.

I stagger and right myself, grabbing a pillar that supports the balcony.

“I can certainly die, just not by your hand.” Alec closes the final distance between us, until our bodies are flush. “So, I encourage you,” he grits between bloodstained teeth. “Please, stab me in thefucking heart—as many times as it takes—until you kill the image of him when you look at me!” His enraged, heartbroken face is barely an inch from mine as he screams.

My tears have come back, streaming down my face in scorching rivulets.

Alec cups my cheeks roughly in his bloody hands as I gasp for breath.

“I live for you, Ellya. And I will die for you, every day, if that is what you need to come back to me,” he tells me passionately, forcing my eyes to meet his. “And if you cannot come back to me, go find someone else to drive a blade through my heart as you watch, because I would rather die than live my life without you. I have nothing to give unless it is to you.”

“Admit it. Admit that you’re angry with me!” I demand through my tears.

Everything regarding Alec that I have buried for weeks is bubbling to the surface, boiling my organs and refusing to be ignored any longer.

“Yes, I am angry!” Alec yells at me, pulling the hair at his temples, adding to the wildness about him. “I am fucking furious with you! But not for any of the reasons you think. For all the ways that Locane failed in everything that he tried to do, you are willingly giving him this victory!”

Alec continues to rage. “I did not think I could truly goad you into killing me. A part of me did not believe that you could ever truly fathom the idea of a life where I am no longer breathing.” He pauses, hurt painted across his face. “I was a fool.”

I gape at him in outrage. “You were trying to get me to kill you?”