Page 39 of To Love a Monster (Oaths & Obsessions #1)

Lila

T he safehouse Matteo sent us to is nothing like the last one.

This one feels like it was carved out of the earth itself, hidden somewhere high in the cliffs where trees outnumber people and the wind carries nothing but silence.

It takes a helicopter to get here. A private one piloted by a man who doesn’t ask questions and never removes his mirrored aviators.

The only other person here besides the two of us is a chef who stays in a building out of sight and leaves trays of food and groceries at our door each day so we don’t have to leave.

It’s been a month since we arrived and somehow, I feel more like myself than I have in years.

My body’s healed faster than I expected.

The bruises faded quickly and the cuts closed.

My ribs still ache when I laugh too hard but it’s a reminder I survived.

Not everyone does. And Nikolai, he’s been here every day.

No shadows in the corner, no masks, just him and I.

We spend our mornings wrapped in each other.

We cook together sometimes. Read, go for walks, and talk about the future.

I feel like I’ve reached an all-time high and despite everything that’s happened, I don’t regret a single thing because it led me here, to this exact moment, to this man.

It’s safe to say that I’ve fallen head over heels for the wolf in the woods and I wouldn’t change a damn thing.

We don’t speak about what happened unless I bring it up and I’m grateful that he never pushes too hard.

It’s our second to last day here. I’m curled up on the couch in a blanket that smells like him, watching the trees sway through the reinforced windows.

The light here is different, fresh, and clean.

He walks in from the hallway still in a black t-shirt and joggers, barefoot and quiet.

“I’ll miss this,” I say, not looking at him. “The quiet. Just being alone with you."

Nikolai doesn't speak right away. He comes behind the couch, leans down and brushes his lips to the top of my head. Then he moves to sit next to me, his arm sliding around my waist.

He looks at me for a long moment, eyes burning low and quiet like coals waiting to catch.

Then he cups my jaw and kisses me, slow and deep.

The kind of kiss that says more than words ever could.

The kind that reminds me it’s been too long since we’ve let ourselves fall into each other completely.

At first it was sweet, but now it’s become extremely frustrating.

Since we arrived, his touch has been careful and hesitant, almost like he's afraid he’ll hurt me.

He doesn't say it, but I feel it in the tension of his body, in the way his breath stutters just slightly against my lips. It’s like he wants more but he’s holding back.

He won't let himself give in like before and I’ve found myself craving the roughness of his touch and the way he dominates in the bedroom.

When he finally pulls away, he rests his forehead against mine. “You’re going to have peace again, little lamb.” he says. “Not just here. But wherever you go from now on.”

“It won’t be the same,” I whisper. I'd grown so used to living alone in his presence.

We'd had minimal contact with the outside world.

According to my parents and Tess, I'd met Nikolai at the cabin and fallen in love. We’d decided to spend some time alone getting to know each other some more.

They're not too happy about it, but I don't care.

I'm positive they'll learn to love him once they get to meet him.

“No, it won't.” he agrees. “But it’ll be normal like it was before. You’ll paint again, visit your parents, laugh with Tess. You’ll be able to go back to the way things were, and I’ll make sure you live a life that's as close to normal as it can possibly be, considering.”

I nod, swallowing the sudden emotion building in my throat.

“I know. I just... I don’t want it to end.

But I am excited to introduce you to my exceptionally boring life.

Things like grocery shopping together, picking out furniture, arguing over what color to paint the guest bathroom.

” I laugh under my breath. “I want to go out for dinner with you. Walk in the park and hold your hand. Go on picnics. Even if it’s different now.

.. I know you’ll keep me safe. And because we’re prepared this time, really prepared, I think we can keep the beasts at bay. ”

He kisses my cheek and holds me tighter. The silence stretches between us until the screen on the coffee table buzzes. It’s Matteo. Nikolai leans forward and accepts the call. Matteo’s face fills the screen, sharp and no-nonsense.

“Time to go over the plan,” he says, wasting no time cutting to the chase, as usual.

“You’ll leave tomorrow at 0700. We’ll fly you back to the city to your new address.

The house is somewhat remote, nestled in the hills just outside town, surrounded by acres of privately owned land.

Surveillance covers every inch of the perimeter, and a team of four elite guards will be stationed in rotation, two at a time around the clock.

You won’t see them, but they’ll be there.

Armed, trained, and loyal. The windows are shatterproof and the panic room is in the basement.

The alarm system is military-grade and runs off a grid-independent power source.

We’ve also upgraded the cameras with biometric AI.

So, if someone so much as lingers too long near the property line, we’ll know. ”

Matteo pauses, then says, “It’s the safest place we could find that didn’t look like a prison. You’ll have privacy and freedom. But more importantly, control.”

I shift slightly. “Will I be able to see my parents?”

Matteo's gaze sharpens. "Eventually. Not immediately. And when you do, it will be under strict protocols. We still don’t know who we can trust right now."

I blink. “But they’re my parents. They're going to want to see me.”

“You’ll see them, Lila. But only under a controlled framework,” he says, his tone firm but not unkind.

“You’ll be given a phone that's encrypted, it’ll have a tracker built in.

Your guards will monitor it at all times.

When you leave the house, someone will always have eyes on you.

From a distance. Quiet and unobtrusive. You’ll still be able to live your life.

Go shopping and visit friends, whatever you want.

But you need to keep that phone on you at all times. That's non-negotiable.”

I shift slightly, letting the weight of it settle. It’s not freedom, not completely, but it’s something.

“I know that this is a lot to take in,” he says, softer now.

“But understand this—Annalise is still a threat. Until we know where every thread leads, no contact can be assumed safe. We’re limiting exposure, not cutting you off.

They’ll be told what they need to know. Enough to keep them safe, too. It's not forever, I promise."

I nod slowly. It stings, but makes sense. Matteo turns his attention to Nikolai. “Everything set on your side?”

Nikolai’s voice is calm. “Security team is prepped, surveillance is installed, and transport is secure.”

Matteo gives a tight nod. “Good. Then we move on schedule.” The screen goes dark and I curl closer into Nikolai’s side.

“Tomorrow,” I whisper. He pulls me into his lap like it’s the easiest thing in the world and cradles me close to his chest. I nestle into his neck, placing soft kisses along the line of his throat.

His fingers tighten around my waist. I shift, moving to straddle him and I feel his breath catch beneath me.

I nip at his neck, just the lightest bite, and he groans low and deep.

I press down onto his lap and feel him instantly harden beneath me.

He moves to kiss me again, this time deeper, hungrier. But still, I feel the reins he’s holding. I feel him stop just short of what we both need.

It hits me then, this careful version of him isn’t the man I met in the cabin. Isn’t the predator who touched me like he was starving, who kissed me like he wanted to ruin me. This version of Nikolai is all restraint and reverence. And it’s driving me fucking insane.

I want to be devoured. “You don’t have to treat me like I’ll break,” I whisper against his ear, my voice low and dirty. “I want you rough. I want you desperate. I want the man who dragged me into his shadows and made me beg.”

He groans again and I feel the way his body tenses, the strain in his muscles like he's fighting every instinct. I grind against him and lean in, licking the shell of his ear before murmuring, “I’m so wet for you, Nikolai. And all you’ve done is breathe.

Stop playing nice. Stop pretending I’m made of glass. You know I can take it.”

His hands slide up my thighs, rough and possessive, pushing my skirt up past my waist. His jaw is clenched so tight I can hear it crack.

“Lila...” he breathes like a warning. But I don’t stop. I press my lips to his throat again, bite down harder this time. And when I whisper, “Prove I’m still yours,” he snaps.

In one swift motion, he flips me beneath him, his body caging mine against the cushions, breath ragged and eyes burning with something primal.

His mouth crashes onto mine without hesitation.

There’s nothing soft left in him now. Only heat and claim and desperation.

His hand slides between us, fingers slipping beneath the waistband of my thong, and when he feels just how wet I am, he growls like a man unhinged.

“Fuck, Lila. You feel so good and you’re all mine.” he snarls against my throat, biting down just hard enough to make me gasp. “Say it.” He demands.

“I’m yours,” I whisper, barely able to speak.

“No.” His fingers dip lower, dragging against my clit in slow, deliberate circles. “Louder.”

“I’m yours, Nikolai, only yours.” I moan, my back arching and my body straining.