Page 14 of To Love a Monster (Oaths & Obsessions #1)

Nikolai

S he breathes in soft , rhythmic pulses, lashes twitching against her cheeks as if caught in some gentle, haunted dream.

My hand hovers above her hip, not pressing, just absorbing.

Memorizing. The curve of her waist, the way the blanket barely clings to the swell of her ass, the slope of her spine.

She’s like a painting I’ll never deserve, a life I never thought I’d want. But I do. I want her.

Her arm is draped across my chest, fingers curled into the muscle. Her legs are tangled with mine, her breath warm on my ribs. She doesn’t stir when I shift, doesn’t flinch when I press a kiss to the crown of her head.

She should be afraid of me—she was—yet now she’s tucked against me like I’m safety and not the monster that forced his way into her life, pushing one boundary at a time.

I never meant to touch her. I was never meant to be more than a ghost in her walls, a shadow in the tree line. But then she looked at me with those storm-swept eyes. I was hooked. And now that I’ve tasted her, experienced every inch of her, I know I’ll never be able to let her go.

I look down at her sprawled across the sheets, tangled and bare, skin still kissed with the bruises of her surrender. Her lips are parted, still flushed.

I brush a strand of black hair from her cheek, careful not to wake her. If she knew how often I watched her sleep with my pulse roaring, wanting, needing, she’d run. Or maybe not.

It’s clear to see that she’s as drawn to the monster in me as she is to fear itself. She craves the part of me most would push away. That’s why she pushed when I went silent. Why she tested me. Provoked me. She knew I was still watching, and she wanted me to snap.

If she didn’t want the beast, she never would’ve gone into Carl’s house just to fuck with me. Never would’ve stepped into the lion’s den with blood on her tongue and a dare in her eyes. No. She may look like innocence, wide-eyed and trembling, but she’s not the little lamb she pretends to be.

A vibration cuts through my thoughts. My phone.

My body goes rigid when I see that there are three missed calls from Matteo.

Fuck. I shift carefully, untangle myself from the sheets and slip out of bed.

I move like a shadow, dressing in silence.

She stirs once when I tuck the blanket back over her shoulders and lets out a soft sound, fingers brushing the mattress, reaching instinctively for me.

I stare at her for a moment longer, then slip out of the room. I step outside, pull the door shut behind me, and call him back. He answers on the second ring. “You called?”

“More than once,” Matteo says, voice low, clipped. “Is everything okay?”

“No,” I mutter, jaw flexing. “Something’s off.

I’ve been keeping an eye on a man who’s been trying to insert himself into Lila’s life.

Name’s Carl. Supposedly a neighbor. Claimed he was connected to someone named Jake, said he visited the property when he was younger.

Judging by Lila’s reaction and their initial conversation, it didn’t add up.

” A pause. I can hear the faint clicking of a keyboard on his end. Matteo’s at his laptop now.

“Carl, you say?” Matteo repeats. There’s a shift in his voice, something subtle and sharp, like a blade being unsheathed.

He mutters, mostly to himself. “Hold on...” More keystrokes.

I know he’s digging into the original file I put together before I came here, the detailed landscape of the lake town and its people.

The file that was meant to help me identify potential threats with surgical precision.

Every home, every business, every resident within five miles of Lila’s cabin.

He’s verifying whether I missed something. A few seconds later, I hear the click of a file opening. Matteo’s tone shifts again, colder now, clipped.

“This is the report you built before insertion, correct?” I hear my phone buzz and see that he sent the attachment through. I glance at it once to confirm before replying.

“Correct.”

“Pulling up the name you mentioned. Jake...” There’s a beat of silence that feels like an eternity. “He’s here. Local. Registered. Owns a hardware store. Grew up there. Nothing flagged.”

Another pause. Longer this time. I don’t breathe.

“Pulling family tree now. Parents. Brother. Two sisters. No Carl listed. Not in immediate family. Not in extended family. Nothing on the registry. No legal name match, no known alias, no property ties.”

“I know,” I say, jaw tight. “That’s why I started watching him a little closer.” He exhales, sharp and deliberate.

“So this guy, Carl, used a fake connection. Slipped under the radar by exploiting a real person with clean records. Smart. Not random.” Matteo’s voice sharpens. “Do you think it was him? The one who sent the message ... the one that said Lila wasn’t as buried as everyone believes?”

I pause, pulse steady. “No. I don’t think it was Carl.”

“You’re sure?”

“He’s not that calculated and to be honest he doesn’t seem very bright.

Last night, I caught him on a call. He didn’t see me.

He thought he was alone, but judging by what I overheard—‘while we wait for the signal’—I’m almost certain he’s linked to whoever did send it.

He’s not the architect. He’s simply the tool.

” Silence stretches between us, heavy with implication.

Matteo exhales hard, sharp. “Fuck.”

“He’s been tracking her. I’m sure of it. She’s not just some random target. They’ve profiled her, stalked her. They’ve already started the setup.”

“What else do you have?”

“Nothing apart from what I overheard. But I’ll have proof by tonight. I’m getting into Carl’s house. I’ll clone his system, see what he’s hiding. If I find anything useful, I’ll be in touch.”

There’s a pause. Then Matteo’s voice hardens. “You’re not engaging?”

“Only if I have to.”

“Don’t,” he snaps. “Not unless it’s unavoidable. We’re not in the clear yet. If you raise suspicion, if Carl senses anything, we could lose the one solid lead we’ve got. You know what’s at stake.” I don’t speak, letting the silence answer instead

Matteo keeps going. “Whoever sent that message, they know too much about her. About what we did. About me . And if Carl’s working with them, even as a spy, then he’s the key to something bigger.

A network. A directive. As you know, I have a lot of enemies, Nikolai.

Any one of them would pay a fortune to crack open my life and if they know about Lila, they know she is the softest place to hit.

” I feel that in my chest like a slow, burning match.

Matteo exhales sharply. “We need to know who Carl’s working for and what they want. Information first. Action later. Do not go rogue, Nikolai.” My grip on the phone tightens. Too late.

He doesn’t know that although I was sent here primarily to protect and observe, I will guard Lila with my life, not just because it’s protocol, not because of some black ink on a mission file, but because I love her.

I love her like a curse. With a devotion that stains. A hunger that rewrites the rules. A loyalty that won't end in mercy. I will uncover who leaked her identity. I will hunt the name that whispered her into the wrong ears. And I will burn down whoever comes for her.

Even if it means killing every person who’s ever heard her name. Even if it means tearing the world apart just to keep her breathing in it. Let them come. I’m the wall they’ll crash against. And I won’t fucking fall.

****

T he sky hangs in a heavy hush, a pale gray, tinged with lavender as I walk away from Lila’s cabin. Fog coils low across the ground, creeping like breath held too long, clinging to the base of the trees as if afraid to rise. The branches are motionless, frozen in silhouette, watchful, expectant.

My backpack waits where I left it, zipped, and ready.

I sling it over my shoulder and double-check the contents without breaking stride.

Burner phone, mobile decryptor, keystroke overlay rig, compact transceiver, clone drive, and gloves.

Everything I’ll need to tear through Carl’s digital life without leaving a fingerprint.

I move through the trees like a shadow swallowed by the mist. Carl’s house is still, silent. No movement behind the curtains. No light slipping through the cracks. I stay low, boots sinking into the dew-soaked earth, each step deliberate, controlled.

Is he still inside? Still asleep? I edge closer, hugging the line of the fence. My eyes sweep the windows. Nothing. No shift of shadow. No flicker of motion.

Then the front door creaks open. I drop into the brush, crouched, breath held. The cold bites through my jacket, but I don’t move. Carl steps out in his joggers and a compression shirt. Sneakers already dusted with dried mud.

I stay still, half-hidden behind the crooked pine, and watch. He stretches once, casually, like a man without a single secret, then glances toward the road. But his gaze doesn’t linger on the path. No. It flicks, barely, to the left. Toward her house.

A fraction of a second. Not long enough to catch if you weren’t looking for it. But I see it. I feel it. Then he turns and jogs toward the woods, footsteps muffled by the drenched ground. He disappears into the trees like he’s got a destination more precise than just a morning run.

My body is already tense with the urge to follow. But not yet. Not until I see what he’s hiding.

My fists curl at my sides as I picture him peeling off course, veering toward her porch. I’m glad I locked her doors before I left. Double bolted the back. Reverse-jammed the front with a pressure lock no one would spot unless they knew what to look for.

I pull up the feed. The screen on my phone flares to life in my palm. Her bedroom camera shows she’s silent, still curled beneath the sheets, hair spilling across the pillow, one arm half-tucked under her cheek. Peaceful and completely unaware.