Page 35 of To Fall or Not to Fall

T heo

“Do you want to know something that I've never told anyone?” I ask Ava as we lie in bed.

She looks at me with sleepy eyes and nods.

“Always. I always want to know everything about you.”

“I don't think you want to know everything about me. That would be boring.”

“No,” she says. “I want to know your favorite food.”

“You already know that.”

“True. You love oysters and steak.”

“Filet mignon, rare. And you like yours medium rare,” I say, and she curses.

“Yeah, I do, but I prefer a ribeye because I like the fat. Isn't that crazy? I don't want to be fat, but I like the fat. But anyway, what was it you were going to tell me?”

“I don't know.”

“You look like you're kind of tired.” Her eyes widen, and she turns onto her side. I feel her fingers running down my chest.

“Theo, tell me what you were going to tell me.”

“Well, you know how you're the fall queen?”

“Yeah. I mean, not that I've been officially named the fall queen by the president or anything, but I do love fall anyway.”

“Fall queen. I think I have a favorite season.”

“You do?” She looks at me.

“If you're going to tell me that your favorite season is fall, because that's when we met, I will say that's very sweet and romantic.”

“But no, it's not fall. It's Christmas.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah. As a child, I loved Christmas. Really, really loved it.

And not just because of the presents, but because of the family time.

It was the one time that my parents would pretend that we were a familial unit that actually celebrated.

I can remember my grandparents and my parents all sitting around the table, and we'd eat roast turkey and honey-baked ham and mashed potatoes and gravy and green beans, and there'd be apple pie. And it just used to feel really warm and cozy. I had forgotten that I even had those memories.”

She gives me a look that reminds me of a warm hug. “I’m glad you’re remembering all this positive childhood memories.”

”I guess they were just so long ago, and so many other memories superseded them. It feels nice to have something to look forward to. And so… Christmas.”

“Are you telling me that we need to plan a really fun Christmas this year?”

“I mean, your granny is amazing, and your granddad seems to like me, too. So maybe we can spend Christmas with them and Arabella and Aria.”

“Well, of course.”

“Did you tell them yet?”

“What do you mean? Did I tell them what?” Her face looks innocent.

“Did you tell them that I’m planning on taking us all to Hawaii for New Year’s Eve?”

“But why would I tell them when you said it was going to be a secret?”

“Ava, I love you, but I know when you're lying.”

“Okay, fine. I had to tell them because I knew they would want to buy dresses and get new bathing suits. And, I mean, it’s not often that someone offers to pay for first-class tickets to fly you to Hawaii and stay in a suite. Like, come on. So… they know.”

“They know?”

She laughs. "And they think it’s amazing of you, and they love you even more than they already did.”

“I love your friends. It's weird that I've never really had any male bonds. I mean, I have Chris, my COO, but all we've ever talked about is business. I don't think he would know what a personal life was if it hit him in the face.”

“Well, there are men in town you can become friends with, and maybe one day, if Aria and Arabella get boyfriends, you can be friends with them, as well.”

“True. And maybe I'll be too busy looking after you and the kids.”

“You really want kids, don’t you?”

“I mean, one day. We don’t have to rush into it. I do want to make an honest woman of you, and I'd like us to buy our own house.”

She stares at me with wide eyes. “Would you now?”

“Yeah. I mean, I see that as our future. Of course, on your timeline. Wait, do you not see that as our future?”

I grab her hand. “I mean, you can be honest with me if… I'm just—what? If you are just sleeping with me for my hot body, but you don’t want me to make an honest woman of you, I would rather you tell me now.”

“Theo. Really.”

“What I'm just saying is… is this real to you? I know you aren’t worried about that, when I tell you how many times a day I love you, right?”

“But you could always tell me a couple more times.”

“Theo.” She grins.

“Ava… how did I get so lucky to be with you?”

“I don’t know. How did you get so lucky?”

“I think I might know,” I say, “but you’re not going to believe me.”

“Oh, boy. What is it now?”

“So, remember when I told you about my ghost story?”

“Yeah. Please don’t tell me you made it up.”

“I didn’t,” I say. “Actually, when I told you that story, I got spooked out. But the truth of the matter is that there was one birthday when my parents got me a cake, and I made a wish.”

“Okay? And what did you wish?” Her eyes widen. “Please don’t tell me you wished for me.”

“I wish I could say that I wished for a beautiful brunette with big brown eyes named Ava, who lived in a town called Coconut Beach. But that would be a lie. And as I’ve told you several times before, I’m no longer going to lie to you, Ava?—

“Which I’m glad you’re not.” She smiles. “So, what did you wish?”

“I wished that I would find true happiness, like the families in Christmas movies.”

“Really? Wait… what?”

“I mean, I was ten at the time. I had laughed slightly, but I guess a part of me that I didn’t even really know existed inside always wished to have that happy family. Always wished to have love and comfort and joy and peace and goodwill.”

“Are you going to sing a Christmas carol now, Theo?”

“No, but you know one thing I’ve always wanted to do, and I’d love it if you did it with me?”

“Oh, what?” She looks at me suspiciously. “If you say you want to make love in the snow, I’m going to say no because I do not want to freeze any of my bits off.”

“No, silly. That’s not what I was going to say. I was going to say that I would like to go Christmas caroling.”

She looks at me in surprise. “You mean like door-to-door?”

“Yeah.”

“Does that not happen here in Coconut Beach?” I feel disappointed for a few moments.

“I mean, I guess maybe some people do it, but it’s not anything I’ve done.

“I mean, I am not the best singer, but if you really want to do it, I figure maybe we can talk to some people at church, and I can ask them.”

“Oh. Do I have to be very religious to go?” I feel disappointed.

“No, but they might expect you at some of the services if you are part of the Christmas choir.”

I smile at her. “I’d like to go at least once to see if I like it.”

“Do you have a nice voice?” she asks me.

“I mean, am I going to take Jon Bon Jovi’s job? Probably not, but I can carry a tune.”

“Na-na, sing me a song,” she says, looking deep into my eyes. “I want to hear your husky, deep timbre.”

“Actually, it’s funny that you asked, but I did write a song for you.”

“No, you didn’t,” she says, stroking my chest.

“I did.”

“So… are you going to sing it to me?”

“I can. If you really want me to.”

“I do. Sing it to me.”

“Fine.”

“When I fall in love, it will be with a woman named Ava, and she ’ ll be my curly-haired braver. The beautiful woman I see. I hope she ’ s looking at me. I hope that it ’ s meant to be, because if she loves me, I ’ ll finally be free.”

She bursts out laughing as my voice cracks.

“Okay. I told you I’m not exactly the best singer, but it’s lovely, Theo. It’s lovely.”

“Do you want to hear the second verse?”

“Of course. Let me hear it.”

“Her name is Ava, and she loves me, but I love her more than bumblebees love honey in my pocket. It goes with everything because she ’ s my Ava, and she ’ s my darling. And I think that this might be starting something goofy, something silly, but all I care about is that she ’ s with me.”

I hold her close as she laughs, and I can feel myself laughing, as well.

“You’re a big old goof, aren’t you, Theo?”

“Only for you, my darling. You know how much I love you.”

“I know,” she says. “And I love you, too. You know what I wish for next Christmas?” She gazes at me, her eyes alight.

“What do you wish, my dear?”

“I wish that Aria and Arabella would have the love we have. I wish that it would be us and them and their partners, and we’re all together, and we’re all having fun, and we’re all happy.”

“That would be a dream come true, because I see the way that they look at us. They want what we have, and who wouldn’t? We have true love.”

“We do,” I say solemnly. “I know plenty of men in the city.”

She says, “It has to be organic. I think we can’t make it happen. But I guess if they meet someone that they think they like, or we think they should like, we can play fairy godmother.”

“Really? You want us to meddle?” I stare at her.

“I don’t know. My grandma… played fairy godmother for us.”

“She did?” I frown. “What do you mean?”

“She told me that no man is perfect, and no relationship is perfect, and that I should give you a second chance because she could see the love in your eyes. And she knew how I felt about you.”

“Your granny said that to you?” I stare at her in surprise. “I had no idea.”

“And honestly, her words affected me because obviously, she was right. You love me, and I love you. And I was being hardheaded. I mean, I was being hardheaded because you lied. But yeah, if it wasn't for her, maybe we wouldn’t be together.”

“I owe that lady a big diamond,” I say with a happy heart. “And I shall have to make sure that she will get a ten carat diamond.”

“She wouldn’t want a diamond from you.”

“I don’t care. It’s because of your gran that I have the love of my life, and you know that you are the love of my life.”

I kiss her forehead, then her cheeks, her lips, her nose, her eyes, being with love for me and your mind.

“Theo, you’ll always be the man of my heart. And this Christmas, we will have the time of our life, singing door to door. I just hope people don’t throw tomatoes at us, because I really can’t carry a tune.”

“They won’t,” I say. “And next year, Aria and Arabella will be with the loves of their lives, as well. I just have a feeling that’s going to come true.”

“Really?” She stares at me.

“Yeah. I have a good sense about these things. Something told me to come to Coconut Beach, and something tells me that they’re going to find love, too.”

“Thank you for moving here. Are you sure that you’re happy with the decision. I don’t want you to regret it.”

“I could never regret anything that means I get to be with you full-time. Coconut Beach captured my heart the moment I walked into your bookstore and saw you. And I can’t imagine ever living anywhere else.

” I say honestly. “This is my home now. You are my home. I love you and wherever you want to be, is where I will venture.”

“What if I wanted to move to Mongolia.”

“Then I guess I’d become a Mongolian citizen.” I grin at her. “You’re never getting rid of me.”

“Well good.” She leans forward and kisses me. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you. And I can only hope that Aria and Arabella meet men that feel the same so that we can all be in each others lives forever.”

Thank you for reading To Fall or Not To Fall, to read a bonus chapter from the book, you can get it here .