Page 23 of To Fall or Not to Fall

Chapter Fifteen

A va

I love the hours before the bookstore opens. It’s quiet and peaceful. I’m able to putter around and get the store ready. I love working with Aria, but sometimes, it’s just nice to be here by myself.

I look around the store at the hundreds of books, at the tables filled with ornaments, and at the twinkling lights.

I breathe in the air and feel myself growing sad, because I don’t know how I’m going to keep the store.

Even with all my best efforts, I’m still not making enough money, and though Arabella said she had an idea, nothing has come to fruition.

I’m possibly going to lose the only thing I’ve ever loved.

For some reason, Theo’s face pops into my mind, and I smile.

He is someone who’s brought out a spark in me I didn’t even know existed.

Every time I see him, I feel butterflies.

He’s not a safe choice, but he feels like the right choice, and he just seems so honest and genuine.

I wonder why I had to meet a perfect guy who didn’t live in town, because it complicates things.

I haven’t yet asked him when he is leaving, but it scares me.

I scroll through my phone and look at his last text messages: telling me that he misses me, that he wishes he were here with me, giving me kisses this morning. I close my eyes and think of his lips. I think of the way he held me, the way he touched me, the way he made love to me.

It was nothing short of amazing.

I take a deep breath and head to the espresso machine. I need to get my mind off of him, because even though everything has been great so far, I just don’t see where it could go. I grind some coffee beans and grab a mug.

This morning, I’m going to make a pumpkin spice latte—my favorite. I’m not going to add anything additional to it either, and I’m going to eat one of the leftover gingerbread men that haven’t sold.

I stand there and grab my phone, texting him: Hey, how are you feeling this morning?

Not ten seconds go by before he calls me.

“Morning, sleepyhead,” I say.

“Morning.” His voice sounds gruff, but I’m used to it by now. “What are you up to?” he asks.

“I’m in the bookstore, getting stuff ready for the day. Maybe today will be the day that a thousand customers come in and want to buy all my books.”

“Perhaps,” he says. His voice sounds odd.

“You okay? You’re not coming down with something, are you?”

“No, I’m fine. I just had a long day yesterday.”

“Oh, were you working with Jenna?”

“Yeah. We had a conversation about some business stuff, and I was just thinking about life and all that good stuff.”

“Anything you want to talk to me about?”

“Funny you say that…” He laughs, almost bitterly. “But no. At least not now.”

“Maybe we can grab dinner later, if you want to come over.”

“Why don’t I take you out?” he offers.

“You don’t have to. I don’t want you to spend your good money on me.”

“Ava, let me take you out.”

“Okay. Anyway, I was thinking about you this morning,” I say.

“And I was thinking about you. You want to sleep over tonight?” he asks.

“I mean, yeah, but I wasn’t sure if you wanted me to.”

“Why wouldn’t I want you to?”

“Because I haven’t seen you in I don’t know how many days now, and you’ve been busy with work.”

“I didn’t want you to think that I was just using you for sex.”

I burst out laughing. “Trust me. I don’t think that.”

I pause as I notice my grandmother at the door.

“Hey, can I call you back later? Granny’s here.”

“Oh, is everything okay?”

“Yeah. Why wouldn’t it be?”

“No reason,” he says. “Call me later, okay?”

“Okay, bye!” I hang up and wave Grandma in.

“The store looks good,” she says. “It’s empty, but it looks nice.”

“Yeah, it’s really got the vibe I was hoping it would have. Thank you again, Granny, for helping me get this place.”

“No worries. I actually came in to tell you that Maribel Laribel says that there are three football players who are going to?—”

“Grandma.” I hold my hand up. “I know you’re not giving me unsolicited love advice again.”

“I’m just saying, you always did love a football player when you were in high school.”

“Grandma.”

“Fine,” she says. “So, do you have a date for the fall festival yet?”

I stare at her for a couple of seconds. If I tell her no , she’s going to continue along the line of the football players, so I tell her a little white lie instead.

“I hope so.”

Her expression changes, and she steps closer to me. Her eyes narrow as she looks me up and down.

“Are you glowing, Ava?”

“I don’t think so.”

“You are glowing. What is different about you? Your hair? It’s not as curly. Did you blow-dry it, attempt to straighten it?”

“Yes, but it’s just more wavy than straight because I didn’t have time,” I say, laughing.

“You normally only blow-dry your hair if there’s a man.” She gasps. “There’s a man! Who is he? Tell me. When do I get to meet him? And why is he not taking you to the fall festival?”

“Granny. Yes, there’s someone I’ve gone on a couple of dates with that I like, but I don’t know where it’s going.” I pause.

“Who is he?”

“It’s not—Granny, no guesses. I’m not going to tell you.”

“Fine,” she says, but there’s a small smile on her face. “So, how did you meet him?”

“Granny, I’m not telling you.”

“Was it with your matchmaking plan? I’ve heard about it, even though you haven’t told me anything about it. But Maribel and the other ladies were talking, and I heard that Sally is actually seeing a young man and?—”

“Granny. I’m not part of the gossip brigade.”

“Fine,” she says, and then her expression turns a little more serious. “How’s the store doing? Is this endeavor helping with finances? You do know that Joshua, the accountant, has been in touch with me about… well, the mortgage.”

My face falls, and I rub my forehead. I can feel tears about to come.

“It’s been tough, Granny. I’m working hard to make ends meet, but the finances just aren’t there yet.

I’m so grateful for you. I’m so grateful that you took a chance on me and that you and Granddad invested money.

I don’t want you to lose it, and I don’t want this to fail, but I don’t know what to do. ”

My grandma steps forward and gives me a warm hug. She rubs my back, and I rest my head against her shoulder. A few tears come out, but I am going to stay strong. I have to. Crying is not going to get me out of the situation.

Granny grabs my shoulders, pulls me back, and looks me dead in the eyes.

“I believe in you, Ava. You are my sweetheart. You’re bright, you’re brilliant, you’re beautiful. You’ll find a way to make this work.”

“I hope so,” I say. “I don’t want to sell to that corporation.”

“I know, and I don’t want you to either.

They contacted Maribel, and they contacted Ringo from the flower shop, and they contacted Emily from the bakery.

It’s ridiculous. I guess they want to make a big hotel.

I have a mind to fly to New York and tell that corporation off.

” Granny frowns. “I’d love to know who the assholes are that are trying to change Coconut Beach. ”

“I know. I just don’t get it. They understand that a hotel like that is not going to work in a town like this. If they would only visit, they’d see that we have small-town charm, that we’re quaint and lovely.”

She sighs. “Big corporations like that… they don’t come to towns like this. They don’t care about the details. They just care about the money.” She sighs again. “But I’m going to go play some pickleball now. You have a good day.”

“Okay. Thanks, Granny. You sure you don’t want a drink or anything?”

“I’m good. You can have a pumpkin spice latte for me.” Her eyes twinkle. She turns around and walks out of the store, and I just stand there.

I go to my drawer near the cash register, pull it open, and stare at the love note I received. Someone out there is thinking about me. Someone out there cares about me and wants to see me succeed.

I wonder who it is.

I don’t want to wonder, because I am so happy with Theo, but I still wonder. Someone has been paying attention to me. Someone knows that Little Women is my favorite book. And someone wants to make me feel special.

A part of me wonders if they care enough about me to help me with the store—though that is absolutely ridiculous. I couldn’t go asking a stranger for financial help.

But if they love you, maybe they would give it to you, I think.

And then I laugh at my own silliness. I’ve read far too many books and watched far too many reality TV shows. Men don’t go throwing large gifts of money at women like me, especially when they aren’t even getting anything. It isn’t like I’m going to pimp out my body for some money.

Part of me thinks about Theo. He has money, and I’m sure he could afford to help me with the store, but I would never want it.

I would never want him to offer it, and I would never accept it, because he is someone I really like.

I’m sleeping with him. It wouldn’t feel right. It wouldn’t feel right at all.

I stand there, sip my pumpkin spice latte, and try to think positive thoughts.

“I’m going to manifest that the store remains open,” I say. “I’m going to manifest that a secret admirer wants to give me a million dollars just because of who I am, and they want nothing from me.”

I shake my head. “You need to manifest some ideas, Ava,” I tell myself. “You need to manifest paying off this debt. You need to figure it out. If you don’t, you are not going to enjoy standing here for much longer.”

The thought sobers me up. I grab a pen and paper. I need to start coming up with some more plans. I have to figure out a way.