Page 27 of To Fall or Not to Fall

“I mean, if all of you can bring in new customers and share the clientele, then hopefully all of you could make more money.”

“You’re a genius.” Her eyes light up as if I’ve just shared the winning lottery ticket numbers with her, and a feeling of dread fills my stomach.

I’m no hero with my advice, and I don’t want her thinking that I am.

I don’t want her thanking me and showering me with gratitude when it’s literally the least I could do.

Guilt consumes me as I think about how badly I wanted her business when I first arrived.

And now, I’m conflicted. All I want is for her to be with me and to be mine, but I don’t know how that can ever happen now.

I just shake my head. “I mean, I don’t know that it would work, but it’s worth a try, right?”

“Why would you even—” she pauses.

“What?” I ask her.

“I’m just surprised that you’re giving me advice.”

“Why would you think I wouldn’t want to give you advice?” My heart stills. Does she know who I am? Does she suspect?

“Oh, only because if I can get the bookstore successful, it’s unlikely I’ll come to New York. But maybe I’ll just have Aria look over the store when I visit you.”

“And then what? You’ll go back to Coconut Beach?” I stare at her. “You’ll spend a week in New York, a week here, and just fly back and forth?”

“No, I couldn’t afford to do that. I would have to… maybe just?—”

“I’d fly you out. You don’t have to worry about the costs.”

“No, you can’t fly me out. I mean, maybe every other time, but not every time. I don’t want to feel like a paid woman.”

I take a deep breath. “You know that what we have has nothing to do with money, right, Ava?”

“I know. And I want to keep it that way.” She smiles at me. “That’s why I’m so grateful to you for not offering me money to help me out.”

“What?” I still.

“I’m grateful to you for not offering me money.

I know with someone who’s got as much money as you, one of the things someone in your position likely would’ve done is just ask me how much I need and write a check.

And I appreciate the fact that you realize that I’m not that sort of woman. I wouldn’t just take money.”

I stare at her for a few moments. She’s given me way too much credit, and I feel like a jackass.

“By the way, are we going to go to the fall festival?” she says.

“I’d love to go with you.” I smile at her. “Just tell me when and where, and I’ll be there.”

I run my fingers across her nipples, and she moans.

I laugh as I run my fingers down her body, slip them between her legs, and rub gently.

She’s wet, and I want to be inside her again.

Being inside of her makes me forget just how shitty the situation is.

That she’s likely going to hate me when this is all done.

“I really enjoy spending time with you, Ava, and I want you to know—no matter what happens—that I think you’re really special.”

“I think you’re special, too, Theo.”

“No, I mean, I think you’re one of a kind. You’re unique, you’re beautiful, you’re wonderful.”

“And Theo, you are all of those things and more. I know you might not recognize it in yourself, but I want to say that you’re a really good guy. You don’t give yourself enough credit.”

“I’m not a good guy, Ava.”

“You are. Trust me, you are. You’re a really, really good guy. And I am starting to fall for you.” She blinks rapidly. “I’m sorry. Was that too much too soon?”

“You’re falling for me?”

She nods slowly. “I know. I probably shouldn’t have told you that. That’s not what we’re meant to do as women these days. But I like to be honest.”

“I’m falling for you, as well,” I say. “Maybe I’ve already fallen.”

“Oh, yeah? To fall or not to fall; that is the question I asked myself just a week ago.”

I smile at her, and she laughs.

“Oh, yeah? To fall or not to fall, huh? And what was your decision?”

“My decision was to fall,” I say, kissing her, loving her, yet feeling like a scumbag.

“Well, maybe you should know that I’ve fallen for you, as well.”

She grins. “By the way, my granny wants to meet you.”

I suddenly tense up.

“But you don’t have to meet her yet. Don’t panic.

” She looks concerned, and I feel like even more of a douchebag.

She probably thinks she’s moving too quickly for me, but really, I know that I’m moving too quickly for both of us, especially considering she doesn’t actually know who I am or why I’m here.

I want to tell her so badly. But she thinks I’m this great guy, and I don’t want to burst her bubble. I don’t want her to think that I’m the worst man in the world. I want to continue being in this delusional state of lovesickness.

I feel like a teenager. I’m finally living, and I’ve waited my whole life to feel like this and didn’t even know it.

I didn’t know such a feeling existed. I didn’t know someone like her existed.

I didn’t know what it was to be in love, and I just want to hold on to it, even if it’s for one more night.

I want to hold on to the sweetness in her smile, the compassion in her eyes, the love in her touch, the sensual duality in her movement. I just want to be with her. I want to feel like the man she thinks I am, even though I’m not.

“Love me again,” she says as she grabs my hand and slips it between her legs. “I want to feel you inside of me, Theo.”

“Who knew that my pumpkin-loving fall queen was such a sex maniac?”

“Me.” She giggles as she touches me on the nose. “I knew. And now I need you to fill me up, Theo. I need you to fuck me hard and fast, because right now, all I want to do is come.”

I grab her hands and position myself over her. I stare down into her eyes, and she stares up into mine, her lips slightly parted.

“Your wish is my command.”

“I hope that’s true,” she says, laughing. “I hope you are my genie in a bottle.”

“Oh, yeah? Why’s that?”

“Because, genie, I have one more wish.”

“Oh?” I say as I thrust inside of her.

“Help me figure out a way to save my bookstore.”

Her eyes widen as I fill her up, and I grunt in response.

“Let’s ensure we can figure out a way that I can keep it and still keep you, because I don’t want to lose you, even if we live in two different places.”

And in that moment, as I slide out of her and thrust into her deep and hard again, I know that I’m the biggest jackass that ever existed. I have to figure out a way to fix this without her getting hurt.

And I have absolutely no idea how I’m going to do it.