Page 44 of Timber's Line

“Take some time, but my advice, which I know you miss, don’t let the past define you.”

He heads off to his cabin, and I just watch him go. From the darkness of the tree, I see Timber leave the barn. Her blue dress makes her look like an otherworldly being, haunting and beautiful. I watch as she crosses into the house.

I will never admit it, but the guys are right— I can’t let the past define me. Now that I finally figured that out, I have to figure out how to move on.

CHAPTERNINETEEN

TIMBER

I roll out of bed, tired, hurting, confused.

“Timber, your dad is here,” Ever calls out.

“Okay, I’ll be down in a bit.”

I haven’t seen my dad or siblings in a couple weeks. I try to stay away, not needing my mother’s scrutiny or harshness. I wasn’t her perfect angel. I was nothing to her. She made sure I knew it too. To be honest, my mother has always hated me. I always thought a parent should love their child no matter what.

My eyes catch a glimpse of silver, my razor. A thought crashes into me—I haven’t cut myself since the show started. I’ve thought of it, but when I’m around Dayton, it becomes a fleeting thought, like I didn’t think of it.

I push the thought aside, get dressed, and hurry downstairs.

“Daddy.” I hug him as he turns around.

“Hey.” He pats my head, but something is off.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” he quickly replies.

“Okay.” But I know either something is wrong or he’s angry at me.

“How are things on the show?”

“They’re okay. I guess you’re here for the huge BBQ potluck?”

“Yes, Shane asked me to help, and I wanted to see you.” He smiles kindly at me.

“I know I haven’t been by as much as I should be,” I start to tell him.

“I know.” He ruffles my hair.

“Good morning.” Shane pours a cup of coffee and joins us at the table. I study both of them. If I didn’t know better, I would think they were brothers. They look so much alike.

“It’s impolite to stare.” Shane chuckles.

“Sorry. You just look like brothers,” I say. Both tense for a moment, but it passes quickly. Weird.

“I’m going to go check on the animals,” I tell them, and they nod. I leave them to sort out the day. I’m kind of nervous. I will meet the ten other suitors today, without the cameras, but I won’t have my next date until after the BBQ. Sal wants everyone to have a day of relaxation. Some of us need it.

I feel bad for the cameramen having to follow us around all day. I wonder if this is what they trained for, to follow a bunch of women and men around and film them making fools of themselves.

I feed the chickens and put new hay in the stalls. I’ll need to clean them out this week.

“The guys can do that,” Sal says, making me jump.

“I must have said that out loud.”

“It’s alright, seems everyone around here has a bad habit of it.” He chuckles.