Page 5
Story: Through the Flames
This whole foster parent thing was a lot more complicated than I thought it would be, and I’ve been to court more times than I ever thought I would in just four days.
The good news is that the process was almost over. Cole was right: they really wanted to get rid of Amaya. They didn’t care much about how things were going. Yes, it was wrong, but it worked out for me. It also helped that my lawyer was so persistent.
Gabriel was the best player.
The only thing left to do was for a social worker to come to my condo and make sure it was a good place for a child. The smart part of me knew that my flat was fine for a seventeen-year-old, but I still went a little too far.
I wanted everything to be perfect for Amaya, so I bit the bullet and brought my sister down to Portland for a day.
Tessa was my younger sister, and we got along well, all things considered. She was the only family member I still talked to. I tried to fly her in as often as I could so we could hang out. But lately, I’ve been ignoring her. It wasn’t anything personal; I’ve just been really busy with work and the stress was getting to me.
I didn’t want to start yelling at her for no reason and make things worse between us, which was already bad. I began to pull away.
So, she was very surprised when I called her and couldn’t stop asking questions about the “mystery woman” who was “changing” me.
She was smart and quickly figured out that I wasn’t giving her any Cart shit. I let her use my credit card completely, and we spent the whole day yesterday shopping for Amaya. She helped me get my guest room ready and buy food for the week. We also bought Amaya some clothes and shoes to wear until I can take her shopping for herself.
The social worker came this morning, and I was really nervous about the evaluation. She just came in, looked at my fridge, checked where Amaya would be sleeping, tried to flirt with me, and then left.
I guess it went well then?
Now all I could think about was getting Amaya out of the hospital and home to safety as soon as possible.
“I hope you had a good time, pumpkin,” I said as I sat down next to her bed.
“I did, Cartie, but I missed you,” she said with a pout and took my hand, putting it on her chest.
Cole said, “Okay, I think this is where I say goodbye.” I’ve been very thankful for him during all of this. He’s been with Amaya while I’m gone, and I wouldn’t be able to protect her without him.
“Bye bye Cole, come see me later okay.” Cole kissed Amaya on the head, promised to come see her later, and nodded at me before leaving.
I turned back to Amaya and saw that she was already looking at me. Her eyes were still sparkling with the same brightness. I just hope that our next conversation doesn’t take away that sparkle.
“Hey baby, there’s something I need to tell you.” She looked at me with interest, which gave me the go-ahead to keep going. I was praying for the right words to come out of my mouth.
“So the reason I’ve been gone a lot lately is that I’ve been getting ready for you to come stay with me.” As soon as I said this, I realised that I had never asked Amaya if she wanted to stay with me. I felt terrible because I was basically making her do this. Yes, I wanted to keep her safe, but I also wanted to let her speak. I need to let her know that she has options in life and the power to choose what she wants to do.
I still wanted to ask, even though it was too late. “Amaya, would you like to move in with me?”
She stayed quiet while she thought about what I had said, which I had seen her do before.
“Cartie, I would love to come stay with you, but my dad would have to move all of his clothes and things there too. That way, when he brings me food and things, he won’t have to go all the way back home to bathe. Can my dad stay with you too?”
I knew it was time to tell her the truth, and my heart ached and my eyes softened. I knew it wouldn’t be easy, but I had to take the bandage off as carefully and painlessly as I could.
I got into the hospital bed with her, and there wasn’t much room, so she was basically lying on top of me. I put my arm around her shoulder and she snuggled into my chest, letting out a soft sigh.
“Amaya, I don’t know how else to say this, so please be patient and calm with me. Do you remember that I saved you from a fire a week ago?”
She nodded slowly, and I could tell that her mood had dropped to the ground. My happy baby was gone, and in its place was a scared little girl.
“Do you remember anything about the fire, honey?”
She shook her head yes and said she remembered a little bit. I pushed her to keep going.
“I remember falling asleep and then waking up feeling like I couldn’t breathe. There was a lot of smoke in my room, and I tried to get out, but I think I fell asleep again. The last thing I remember is seeing your face. Then I woke up in the hospital.”
“Amaya baby, we could only save you when we found you in that burning house. Your daddy didn’t make it.”
Her eyes shot up to mine, and right away they were full of tears.
“Is Daddy dead? Is he not coming back?”
I didn’t know if she was crying or screaming, but she shook and fell against my chest. I wanted nothing more than to take away all of the pain and sadness in her voice.
If I could, I would do it right away.
I knew that nothing I said would make her feel better right now, because her sobs weren’t getting any better. So I let myself be there in person. I couldn’t take away her pain, but I can be there for her.
I moved so that her whole body was on mine, and I hugged her tighter. She stopped crying and snuggled into my neck, but I could still feel the hot tears running down the side of my neck.
She didn’t deserve any of this.
~ ~ ~
Amaya learnt the truth about a day ago, and she still feels bad. It broke my heart to see her so sad, and I couldn’t stop thinking about how to help.
I had an idea that I thought might work, and thankfully, today is the day she gets to go home. I have her present at my flat, and I just hope it works.
Amaya was saying goodbye to Cole, who was trying to calm her down by saying he would come to see her as often as he could. She didn’t want to leave the hospital, but Cole said that her “injuries” were healed enough for him to give the job to a bumbling fool like me. Not my words.
Tessa and I bought Amaya some clothes, and I brought her a simple blue dress, tights, and a trench coat to wear. It was late November, and the weather was already getting bad. I wasn’t going to take any chances.
Amaya was about 5’6″ tall, and I was well over six feet. So it’s safe to say that she almost didn’t reach my chest. She looked like a little muffin next to me, which only made me want to protect her more.
I held a bag over my shoulder with all of her hospital things and held Amaya’s hand in my other hand. Before we left the room, we said goodbye to Cole for the last time.
The hallways were moderately busy, and Amaya said hello to everyone we passed. It was so cute to see, and she made my day better and everyone else’s day better too.
I thought about how this might be the first time in Amaya’s life that she’s been around so many different people. It was probably very overwhelming, but she was so happy and positive.
The good news is that the process was almost over. Cole was right: they really wanted to get rid of Amaya. They didn’t care much about how things were going. Yes, it was wrong, but it worked out for me. It also helped that my lawyer was so persistent.
Gabriel was the best player.
The only thing left to do was for a social worker to come to my condo and make sure it was a good place for a child. The smart part of me knew that my flat was fine for a seventeen-year-old, but I still went a little too far.
I wanted everything to be perfect for Amaya, so I bit the bullet and brought my sister down to Portland for a day.
Tessa was my younger sister, and we got along well, all things considered. She was the only family member I still talked to. I tried to fly her in as often as I could so we could hang out. But lately, I’ve been ignoring her. It wasn’t anything personal; I’ve just been really busy with work and the stress was getting to me.
I didn’t want to start yelling at her for no reason and make things worse between us, which was already bad. I began to pull away.
So, she was very surprised when I called her and couldn’t stop asking questions about the “mystery woman” who was “changing” me.
She was smart and quickly figured out that I wasn’t giving her any Cart shit. I let her use my credit card completely, and we spent the whole day yesterday shopping for Amaya. She helped me get my guest room ready and buy food for the week. We also bought Amaya some clothes and shoes to wear until I can take her shopping for herself.
The social worker came this morning, and I was really nervous about the evaluation. She just came in, looked at my fridge, checked where Amaya would be sleeping, tried to flirt with me, and then left.
I guess it went well then?
Now all I could think about was getting Amaya out of the hospital and home to safety as soon as possible.
“I hope you had a good time, pumpkin,” I said as I sat down next to her bed.
“I did, Cartie, but I missed you,” she said with a pout and took my hand, putting it on her chest.
Cole said, “Okay, I think this is where I say goodbye.” I’ve been very thankful for him during all of this. He’s been with Amaya while I’m gone, and I wouldn’t be able to protect her without him.
“Bye bye Cole, come see me later okay.” Cole kissed Amaya on the head, promised to come see her later, and nodded at me before leaving.
I turned back to Amaya and saw that she was already looking at me. Her eyes were still sparkling with the same brightness. I just hope that our next conversation doesn’t take away that sparkle.
“Hey baby, there’s something I need to tell you.” She looked at me with interest, which gave me the go-ahead to keep going. I was praying for the right words to come out of my mouth.
“So the reason I’ve been gone a lot lately is that I’ve been getting ready for you to come stay with me.” As soon as I said this, I realised that I had never asked Amaya if she wanted to stay with me. I felt terrible because I was basically making her do this. Yes, I wanted to keep her safe, but I also wanted to let her speak. I need to let her know that she has options in life and the power to choose what she wants to do.
I still wanted to ask, even though it was too late. “Amaya, would you like to move in with me?”
She stayed quiet while she thought about what I had said, which I had seen her do before.
“Cartie, I would love to come stay with you, but my dad would have to move all of his clothes and things there too. That way, when he brings me food and things, he won’t have to go all the way back home to bathe. Can my dad stay with you too?”
I knew it was time to tell her the truth, and my heart ached and my eyes softened. I knew it wouldn’t be easy, but I had to take the bandage off as carefully and painlessly as I could.
I got into the hospital bed with her, and there wasn’t much room, so she was basically lying on top of me. I put my arm around her shoulder and she snuggled into my chest, letting out a soft sigh.
“Amaya, I don’t know how else to say this, so please be patient and calm with me. Do you remember that I saved you from a fire a week ago?”
She nodded slowly, and I could tell that her mood had dropped to the ground. My happy baby was gone, and in its place was a scared little girl.
“Do you remember anything about the fire, honey?”
She shook her head yes and said she remembered a little bit. I pushed her to keep going.
“I remember falling asleep and then waking up feeling like I couldn’t breathe. There was a lot of smoke in my room, and I tried to get out, but I think I fell asleep again. The last thing I remember is seeing your face. Then I woke up in the hospital.”
“Amaya baby, we could only save you when we found you in that burning house. Your daddy didn’t make it.”
Her eyes shot up to mine, and right away they were full of tears.
“Is Daddy dead? Is he not coming back?”
I didn’t know if she was crying or screaming, but she shook and fell against my chest. I wanted nothing more than to take away all of the pain and sadness in her voice.
If I could, I would do it right away.
I knew that nothing I said would make her feel better right now, because her sobs weren’t getting any better. So I let myself be there in person. I couldn’t take away her pain, but I can be there for her.
I moved so that her whole body was on mine, and I hugged her tighter. She stopped crying and snuggled into my neck, but I could still feel the hot tears running down the side of my neck.
She didn’t deserve any of this.
~ ~ ~
Amaya learnt the truth about a day ago, and she still feels bad. It broke my heart to see her so sad, and I couldn’t stop thinking about how to help.
I had an idea that I thought might work, and thankfully, today is the day she gets to go home. I have her present at my flat, and I just hope it works.
Amaya was saying goodbye to Cole, who was trying to calm her down by saying he would come to see her as often as he could. She didn’t want to leave the hospital, but Cole said that her “injuries” were healed enough for him to give the job to a bumbling fool like me. Not my words.
Tessa and I bought Amaya some clothes, and I brought her a simple blue dress, tights, and a trench coat to wear. It was late November, and the weather was already getting bad. I wasn’t going to take any chances.
Amaya was about 5’6″ tall, and I was well over six feet. So it’s safe to say that she almost didn’t reach my chest. She looked like a little muffin next to me, which only made me want to protect her more.
I held a bag over my shoulder with all of her hospital things and held Amaya’s hand in my other hand. Before we left the room, we said goodbye to Cole for the last time.
The hallways were moderately busy, and Amaya said hello to everyone we passed. It was so cute to see, and she made my day better and everyone else’s day better too.
I thought about how this might be the first time in Amaya’s life that she’s been around so many different people. It was probably very overwhelming, but she was so happy and positive.