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I moved closer to her, but she pushed me away and told me to stay on the other side of the bed.
She cried out loud and wiped her face with her hands to stop the tears from flowing.
She was always so pretty. She was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen, even when she was crying. Her hair has grown out a lot in the last few years, and it was longer and thicker than ever. It fell all over the place, giving her the look of a warrior bunny from another world. Her nose was red from crying, and her cheeks were red from working too hard.
Very beautiful
“Of course I want to get married—
“Don’t say that, you liar!” she screamed and threw the pillow in anger. “You told me that actions speak louder than words, but all you’ve said lately is a bunch of horse shit!”
How did we even get to this point? We were just having a nice, fun breakfast, and now we’re yelling at each other.
“Believe what you want, Amaya, but what I say is true whether you believe it or not. I want to marry you, and I will. There is no doubt about that. I will marry you when the time is right,” I said, and she rolled her eyes up to the sky.
“You’re not going to marry me. You don’t want to have s*x with me. You might as well be dating your sister.”
There she goes again with this sister stuff. Every time she says it, I feel like my balls are going to shrivel up because I can only see Tessa’s dumb face.
“Then why do I kiss my sister Amaya? Answer that!”
“I don’t know! Maybe it’s because you’re too scared to f**k her!” Amaya yelled.
I groaned and pushed the heel of my hand into my eyes.
“Stop talking about this sister shit,” I told her, really sick of the things she was saying.
She yelled, “Don’t tell me what to do! You’re not the boss of me!” and crossed her arms.
“That’s why I won’t marry you! You’re such a f*****g kid!”
As soon as I said the words, I felt bad. She looked like her heart was broken.
“Amaya,” I whispered, and I quickly crossed the small space between us.
She tried to run across the bed, but this time I was faster than her. She fought hard to get away from me, but I held her down on the bed.
“Don’t touch me!” she cried. “You still think I’m a little girl!”
“Amaya, stop it. I’m sorry for what I said. I didn’t mean it.” I said this in a desperate tone as I tried to fix what I might have broken.
She knows just how to get me to snap, and I need to work on that.
“Is that all you do now? Talk about things you don’t mean?”
It seemed like I had gone back on so much of what her therapist had been working on. I was supposed to help her, not hurt her.
Amaya was sure that I thought of her as my daughter or sister when we first got together. I worked hard in the last six months to change that.
I don’t want to blame anyone, but I do blame Tessa for everything. I think she’s been putting ideas in Tessa’s head lately, and now my little angel baby thinks that the only way I love her is if I marry her or have s*x with her.
I don’t know why Tessa thinks she can give anyone life advice when she can barely take care of herself.
It just makes me more sure that Amaya isn’t ready to get married.
I was able to calm her down by holding her hands above her head and covering her body with mine.
I said firmly, “Amaya, you are being childish,” and the pout on her face did not help her case. “That’s why I won’t marry you right away, but it’s also one of the main reasons why I will.”
“What do you mean? You’re talking in riddles,” she said in a low voice.
“I love how childish you are. It drives me crazy, but I love it. Amaya, I don’t want you to change that part of yourself, but at the same time, that part of you can’t make all your decisions.”
I said, “You are not a child, so you can’t make childish decisions. Marriage is a big deal. Having s*x is a big deal. I believe in your progress, Amaya, but I don’t think you’re ready for such big changes.”
She mumbled defiantly, “You don’t know that.” “I believe I’ll be a great wife and mother one day.”
“Yes, you will. You don’t need to tell me that. But I don’t think it’s right for two babies to be throwing tantrums in our house right now,” I joked.
She huffed and tried to shrink away again. But I held her in place.
“Amaya, answer this: do you want to have a baby with me or do you just want to have s*x with me?”
Her silence only made me more sure of what I thought.
Tessa, you bloody
“Can’t you just f**k me and get it over with?” she begged, her eyes begging me to do what she wanted.
After this, no one could ever say that I don’t have any self-control. I should get some kind of award for my strong will.
I don’t think any man could have resisted what I’ve resisted.
“Amaya, I won’t have s*x with you until I put a ring on that finger,” I said, and I meant it.
I couldn’t do that to her. I wanted more than just s*x with Amaya. She meant the world to me. I loved her more than I can say. I could never want her more than I wanted to keep her safe and happy.
Amaya’s growth has always been my top priority. To me, she’s more than just a girlfriend. She has always been and always will be.
“Please put a ring on my finger already,” she begged.
I smiled softly.
Amaya still had a lot to learn, and it was my job to make sure she kept growing. That meant being strong and firm even when she said crazy things.
I kissed her lips and then her nose and said, “And that’s why I won’t give you the ring just yet.”
“I love you more than anything else in the world. You’re my little angel. I want the best for you all the time. I’m sorry I hurt your feelings, and I’m going to stop making fun of you for wanting to get married.”
She sniffled when I let go of her hands. I turned us over, and now she was lying on my chest while I rubbed her lower back gently.
“I just want to do something to show you how much I care,” she said softly.
I moved quietly so that I was sitting against the headboard with her on my lap.
“Do you love me, Amaya?” I asked plainly.
“Of course I love you. I love you so much it drives me crazy.”
I teased, “So it’s your never-ending love for me that drives you crazy.”
She bit her lip and wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling her body closer to mine.
“Maybe,” she said quietly. “Thinking about you with another woman makes me think of some violent things.”
I laughed at how sure she looked. I didn’t need her to tell me how violent she could be. That little spark in her eye was all the proof I needed.
I told you, “Knowing you love me is all the commitment I need.”
I leaned in and kissed her softly, enjoying the happiness I felt.