Page 18
Story: Through the Flames
I stepped into the flat slowly, terrified of what Amaya would do to me.
One reason Amaya still goes to therapy every Saturday is that she hasn’t learnt how to deal with her anger. She didn’t see a lot of anger growing up, and I quickly learnt that when she got angry, she got really angry.
To cut a long story short, Amaya had a huge fit.
When I walked in and saw that my clothes were all over the flat, I wasn’t too surprised. I put my hand over my mouth to keep from laughing so she wouldn’t think I wasn’t taking her seriously.
I followed the noise of clanging and ended up in the kitchen. There she was, unpacking all of our groceries and every piece of tableware we owned.
I thought this would be easier than it was.
“Amaya,” I said, but she didn’t even look up. “What are you doing?”What
I decided to use some of the techniques her therapist told me to use when she still didn’t answer me. I was supposed to get her angry and make her “talk” it all out, which usually meant screaming it all out. After that, I had to calm her down and make her see reason.
“Amaya, don’t you think you should say you’re sorry for how you acted at work today?”
As she slowly looked up at me, her hand and the plate in it froze in midair.
In the morning light, her eyes were green, and in the dark of night, they were a beautiful brown. But I’ve never seen her eyes glow like fire before. They looked orange.
I didn’t have time to enjoy it, though, because the plate in her hand flew right at me. I ducked as it broke above my head and fell on me.
“Say sorry? FOR WHAT?”I ducked again when a glass came right after.”
She ran out of the kitchen, and I followed her right away.
“Hey Carter, you know what?She suddenly stopped and walked right up to me. “You are a very bad man!””She hit me everywhere she could, and I tried to stop her, but she wouldn’t stop.
“You don’t value anything I do. I make you lunch! I look cute! I go there by myself! AND FOR WHAT?”
She screamed and ran away, and I tried to catch up with her, but she was as fast as she was small. I might have fallen while running because I slipped on some of my clothes on the floor.
She ran towards the bedrooms, but I didn’t know which one. I knew she was probably hiding, though.
I yelled at her, but she didn’t answer. I looked in what was supposed to be her bedroom first. Amaya has never slept here since that first night when she had a nightmare.
Tessa lived with us for a few months when she first moved to Portland. This was her bedroom. Now, all of Amaya’s things are in our bedroom.
I checked under the bed and in the closet, but I couldn’t find my girl. I was about to check our bedroom when I heard a small sniffle coming from the closet.
I sat by the door and listened to her quiet sniffles.
My heart sank.
“Amaya, why are you mad?”
“No! Get out of here!”
“I won’t do it until you tell me what’s wrong,” I said.
For a short time, all that could be heard was her sniffling. Then she groaned and blew up.
“You’re the problem!” You didn’t stand up for me in front of that mean old lady!”
So this is what it’s all about? She was making a big deal out of nothing.
“Just go away Carter! You’re just making things worse. I don’t want to see you right now!”
It didn’t make sense to talk to her right now. I had to wait until she calmed down.
“Amaya, I’m going to leave now, but I’ll be right outside when you’re ready to talk.”
I spent the next few hours putting all of my clothes, groceries, and dishes back in their boxes. I also cleaned up all the broken glass, which took longer than I thought it would because it went everywhere.
Amaya was a crazy little girl, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I turned on the TV and sat down on the couch after I had cleaned up the flat. I fell asleep while watching an episode of this dumb show that Amaya has me hooked on.
It didn’t surprise me to find a small body on my chest under the blanket when I woke up.
I held her close and enjoyed the warmth she gave me. She stuck her head out from under the blanket, and when I saw her puffy, red eyes, my heart sank.
I held her face in my hands and kissed her all over.
“I’m really sorry I threw a plate and a glass at you, Cartie.” I knew she was using her extra cute voice to get me to feel bad, and I also knew that it was working. “I’m also sorry that I put all of your clothes in different places around the flat and that I unpacked all of our groceries and dishes.”
She started crying again and turned so that she was lying on my neck.
“I’m a bad girl, Cartie. I don’t deserve you,” she cried, her tears soaking my skin.
“Aw baby,” I hugged her tighter and patted her back to calm her down. “Amaya, you’re not a bad girl. A little crazy, yes, but not bad.”
My words didn’t help at all, and she started crying right away.
“Is that why you didn’t stand up for me? Because I’m a little crazy?”
I had to laugh. I tried to hold it in, but Amaya was too much. Too cute, too unstable, too crazy, and yes, too cute.
I turned us over so that she was under me. I lay down on her body, knowing she wouldn’t mind because she had told me before that she likes it when I crush and smother her. It makes her feel warmer in some way.
I kissed her cheeks and wiped the tears from her eyes, but they kept coming back.
“Amaya, I’m really sorry I didn’t defend you today. Things got out of hand so quickly that I didn’t want you to get arrested for kicking a detective in the throat. I was trying to keep you calm and safe, but then you ran away. After you left, I did defend you.”
“That’s not the point!” she groaned, and I felt like I was out of my depth.
“What’s wrong, Amaya? You tell me.”
“The problem is that you keep acting like I’m your little sister or daughter. You never treat me like an adult!”
I was shocked by her outburst, but it was like I had pressed play and couldn’t stop.
“I try to dress like a grown woman. I go to work, cook for you, and cuddle with you. I wear bras so you won’t be uncomfortable. But still, you don’t look at me the way I want you to. I want you to look at me like a woman, not a girl.”
Her breathing was quick, and every time she took a deep breath, her chest pressed against mine. As my internal restraint fell apart, I looked into her eyes.
I gave her a kiss.
When her soft lips met mine, it felt like everything that was bothering me just melted away. They looked and felt just as soft and supple as they looked, and I was hooked right away.
This is why I fought so hard for so long. I knew that once I tasted it, I wouldn’t be able to stop. I wanted to make sure she was ready for everything I would bring to the table.
Thank God the day had finally come.
When I leaned over, her eyes were glazed over and her lips were slightly open.
She couldn’t believe it.
“Do you still feel like a little girl?”
I leaned back in and worked harder when she didn’t answer. She opened her mouth for me, and I didn’t waste any time looking around inside.
I was bothered that she didn’t answer, so I slid my hands up her waist, which made her sigh softly.
I sucked on her tongue like it was my favourite candy while I rubbed her side with my thumb.
I asked, “How about now?” as I moved to s**k on her neck, wanting to leave as many marks as I could. “Do you still feel like my sister?” All I got back was a whine as she rubbed her hands against my body and tried to take off my shirt.
One reason Amaya still goes to therapy every Saturday is that she hasn’t learnt how to deal with her anger. She didn’t see a lot of anger growing up, and I quickly learnt that when she got angry, she got really angry.
To cut a long story short, Amaya had a huge fit.
When I walked in and saw that my clothes were all over the flat, I wasn’t too surprised. I put my hand over my mouth to keep from laughing so she wouldn’t think I wasn’t taking her seriously.
I followed the noise of clanging and ended up in the kitchen. There she was, unpacking all of our groceries and every piece of tableware we owned.
I thought this would be easier than it was.
“Amaya,” I said, but she didn’t even look up. “What are you doing?”What
I decided to use some of the techniques her therapist told me to use when she still didn’t answer me. I was supposed to get her angry and make her “talk” it all out, which usually meant screaming it all out. After that, I had to calm her down and make her see reason.
“Amaya, don’t you think you should say you’re sorry for how you acted at work today?”
As she slowly looked up at me, her hand and the plate in it froze in midair.
In the morning light, her eyes were green, and in the dark of night, they were a beautiful brown. But I’ve never seen her eyes glow like fire before. They looked orange.
I didn’t have time to enjoy it, though, because the plate in her hand flew right at me. I ducked as it broke above my head and fell on me.
“Say sorry? FOR WHAT?”I ducked again when a glass came right after.”
She ran out of the kitchen, and I followed her right away.
“Hey Carter, you know what?She suddenly stopped and walked right up to me. “You are a very bad man!””She hit me everywhere she could, and I tried to stop her, but she wouldn’t stop.
“You don’t value anything I do. I make you lunch! I look cute! I go there by myself! AND FOR WHAT?”
She screamed and ran away, and I tried to catch up with her, but she was as fast as she was small. I might have fallen while running because I slipped on some of my clothes on the floor.
She ran towards the bedrooms, but I didn’t know which one. I knew she was probably hiding, though.
I yelled at her, but she didn’t answer. I looked in what was supposed to be her bedroom first. Amaya has never slept here since that first night when she had a nightmare.
Tessa lived with us for a few months when she first moved to Portland. This was her bedroom. Now, all of Amaya’s things are in our bedroom.
I checked under the bed and in the closet, but I couldn’t find my girl. I was about to check our bedroom when I heard a small sniffle coming from the closet.
I sat by the door and listened to her quiet sniffles.
My heart sank.
“Amaya, why are you mad?”
“No! Get out of here!”
“I won’t do it until you tell me what’s wrong,” I said.
For a short time, all that could be heard was her sniffling. Then she groaned and blew up.
“You’re the problem!” You didn’t stand up for me in front of that mean old lady!”
So this is what it’s all about? She was making a big deal out of nothing.
“Just go away Carter! You’re just making things worse. I don’t want to see you right now!”
It didn’t make sense to talk to her right now. I had to wait until she calmed down.
“Amaya, I’m going to leave now, but I’ll be right outside when you’re ready to talk.”
I spent the next few hours putting all of my clothes, groceries, and dishes back in their boxes. I also cleaned up all the broken glass, which took longer than I thought it would because it went everywhere.
Amaya was a crazy little girl, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I turned on the TV and sat down on the couch after I had cleaned up the flat. I fell asleep while watching an episode of this dumb show that Amaya has me hooked on.
It didn’t surprise me to find a small body on my chest under the blanket when I woke up.
I held her close and enjoyed the warmth she gave me. She stuck her head out from under the blanket, and when I saw her puffy, red eyes, my heart sank.
I held her face in my hands and kissed her all over.
“I’m really sorry I threw a plate and a glass at you, Cartie.” I knew she was using her extra cute voice to get me to feel bad, and I also knew that it was working. “I’m also sorry that I put all of your clothes in different places around the flat and that I unpacked all of our groceries and dishes.”
She started crying again and turned so that she was lying on my neck.
“I’m a bad girl, Cartie. I don’t deserve you,” she cried, her tears soaking my skin.
“Aw baby,” I hugged her tighter and patted her back to calm her down. “Amaya, you’re not a bad girl. A little crazy, yes, but not bad.”
My words didn’t help at all, and she started crying right away.
“Is that why you didn’t stand up for me? Because I’m a little crazy?”
I had to laugh. I tried to hold it in, but Amaya was too much. Too cute, too unstable, too crazy, and yes, too cute.
I turned us over so that she was under me. I lay down on her body, knowing she wouldn’t mind because she had told me before that she likes it when I crush and smother her. It makes her feel warmer in some way.
I kissed her cheeks and wiped the tears from her eyes, but they kept coming back.
“Amaya, I’m really sorry I didn’t defend you today. Things got out of hand so quickly that I didn’t want you to get arrested for kicking a detective in the throat. I was trying to keep you calm and safe, but then you ran away. After you left, I did defend you.”
“That’s not the point!” she groaned, and I felt like I was out of my depth.
“What’s wrong, Amaya? You tell me.”
“The problem is that you keep acting like I’m your little sister or daughter. You never treat me like an adult!”
I was shocked by her outburst, but it was like I had pressed play and couldn’t stop.
“I try to dress like a grown woman. I go to work, cook for you, and cuddle with you. I wear bras so you won’t be uncomfortable. But still, you don’t look at me the way I want you to. I want you to look at me like a woman, not a girl.”
Her breathing was quick, and every time she took a deep breath, her chest pressed against mine. As my internal restraint fell apart, I looked into her eyes.
I gave her a kiss.
When her soft lips met mine, it felt like everything that was bothering me just melted away. They looked and felt just as soft and supple as they looked, and I was hooked right away.
This is why I fought so hard for so long. I knew that once I tasted it, I wouldn’t be able to stop. I wanted to make sure she was ready for everything I would bring to the table.
Thank God the day had finally come.
When I leaned over, her eyes were glazed over and her lips were slightly open.
She couldn’t believe it.
“Do you still feel like a little girl?”
I leaned back in and worked harder when she didn’t answer. She opened her mouth for me, and I didn’t waste any time looking around inside.
I was bothered that she didn’t answer, so I slid my hands up her waist, which made her sigh softly.
I sucked on her tongue like it was my favourite candy while I rubbed her side with my thumb.
I asked, “How about now?” as I moved to s**k on her neck, wanting to leave as many marks as I could. “Do you still feel like my sister?” All I got back was a whine as she rubbed her hands against my body and tried to take off my shirt.