Page 38 of Thorns That Bloom (Venusverse #3)

Theo

When I see those lush chestnut coils, sunlight reflecting off of them, I can hardly believe Sam really is sitting there.

Overcome by a pulse of unease, I stand in the hallway, staring at the glass wall and the balcony behind it, where he thankfully can’t see me.

I was convinced that this would stop after the mess of our call on Friday.

But then, he texted me late last night, asking what food I’m planning to make for Monday, and when I responded, he sent a thumbs up.

I look down at the two containers of gnocchi with browned butter and walnuts that I’ve spent the morning anxiously preparing, hopefully to perfection. Martin’s mumbling and bitching about how I flooded the entire house with my pheromones over the weekend definitely hasn’t helped in making me calm.

Not as calm and relieved as I feel now, knowing Sam is waiting for me.

With another reminder to self to stop fretting, I make my legs move and reach for the door to the balcony. He looks up, fluttering those beautiful, long lashes at me as his lips part. It takes all my willpower to smile and hide the absolute panic happening inside me.

And even more to force myself to forget about all the things I imagined when I was horny out of my mind on the phone with him.

“Hey,” I greet him, my heart inside my throat.

As always, I hand him his portion and sit down next to him. Sam flashes me a smile. His eyes linger on me only for a second before he focuses on studying what I brought. “Mhmm…smells buttery.”

“I tried not to overdo it, you know…so it stays healthy. But I do love me some butter.”

He’s acting normal. Which is insane, really, considering how badly I fucked up.

I don’t even remember what exactly I said to him.

Looking back at that evening is like trying to pull memories out of a thick, dense fog.

His voice was like a soothing, lovely, perfectly mouthwatering haze that came out of my phone like notes from a siren.

The rebound rut was kicking my ass before he called, but after he did, I became nothing but a horny, mumbling mess.

“I’m past caring about healthy right now,” Sam mutters, taking in a mouthful.

A smirk tugs at the corner of my lip. He’s so damn adorable. And I’m a monster for touching myself like that while on the phone with him.

For some reason, he told me to forget about it.

Maybe he really didn’t hear me? Or he didn’t realize what I was doing.

I should want to believe that. I was so out of it I couldn’t even hold my phone.

It was on the pillow next to my head as I stroked my cock with one hand and had the other arm resting over my face, trying to hide my shame.

So, maybe he’s telling the truth, and that’s why I’m sitting with him right now. Why he still feels safe around me.

When I focus back on him instead of torturing myself internally, Sam’s contentedly chewing, the container already half empty.

“You should probably slow down,” I say as I dig into my meal.

He snorts. “Yeah. I keep getting heartburn.” He slows a little, but I can almost see the feral hunger in him and his hand twitching down to scrape up more before he’s even finished the food in his mouth.

The memory of him lying on the examination table at the doctor’s office, his round stomach exposed and so beautiful, sends a wave of heat through me.

Don’t even go there. You’ve jerked off enough over the weekend to give yourself a damn friction burn.

“So, have you thought more about names? Now that you know you’ll have a girl?” I ask, mostly to propel the conversation forward. I can’t imagine anything worse than silence right now.

Sam hums vaguely, shrugging. “It’s hard.

Harder than, um…than I thought. I want a meaningful name.

A unique name, like I told you. But then I start thinking about the fact that she’ll be an adult at some point, with her own life, walking around the world with that name, and I start worrying about choosing the right one for her.

A part of me fears I won’t know for sure until I hold her in my arms,” he says, glancing down at his stomach with the sort of endearing smile that makes me all warm and tingly.

I wish I could kiss him. Hug him and tell him it’s going to be alright.

“That’s fair. I mean, some people decide only after leaving the hospital.”

Sam glances at me, seeming pleased with that answer. He nods and goes to take another bite before he twitches slightly and lets out a low groan, rolling back his shoulders.

“Are you feeling okay?”

He shakes his head as if it’s nothing. “Just the aches and pains that are my life now. Only—ugh—this one is a little annoying. Think I slept wrong. Woke up with this uncomfortable ache running down the back of my neck and into my shoulder. Probably a pinched nerve or something. I’m sure it’ll go away.

” Discomfort still flashes across his face, even as he tries to wiggle and settle into some semblance of comfort.

I know that I’m on thin ice right now, after what happened, but I can’t help myself from…

“I could try to massage it out. My pop used to be a massage therapist before he changed jobs. It was wreaking havoc on his hands and his joints, apparently. Kind of ironic, I know,” I say with a chuckle, realizing that I’m just going on about nonsense again, “He’s, um, shown me a thing or two. Only the basics.”

Sam’s reserved expression tightens, and his eyes dart toward me.

“Only if you want, of course,” I add firmly.

He lowers his gaze. “I guess you could try. It’s pretty uncomfortable. Especially sitting in an office chair looking at the screen all day,” he says, and before I can even blink, he’s put his food down next to him and is taking off his warm jacket.

I part my lips with a sharp inhale, watching him turn his back to me, his long, lean neck exposed above the collar now that he only has a dress shirt and a woolen vest on.

With desperation, I briefly close my eyes and urge my body to relax.

There are still some residual hormones floating around me at a higher level than they usually would.

And an omega presenting the back of their neck to an alpha is considered incredibly sensual and intimate by some.

But I’m not an animal, and I most definitely don’t want to hurt Sam, only help him.

I raise my hands slowly. “I’ll touch your shoulders and work up toward the neck, feeling for knots, okay?” I wait for Sam’s nod before continuing. “Try to relax.”

Sam exhales, his shoulders drooping.

I’m no professional, but I try to remember what Pop taught me. I warm him up with slow, broad strokes first. As I glide over his trapezius muscle, I feel the tension beneath his skin. “Tell me if the pressure is too much and I’ll stop.” Without meaning to, my voice keeps dropping lower and lower.

“Okay,” Sam says, also nearly whispering.

He flinches slightly in a certain spot, and I draw my brows together and focus on it. Pop said people like hearing what’s happening. Makes them more at ease. “I can feel a small knot in your muscles right here. I’ll try to work it out.”

Sam just nods again, and I use my thumbs, digging in gently to make slow, deliberate circles. I’m not sure if I’m actually helping that much until Sam’s head jerks back. He lets out a low, controlled moan.

“Good?” I ask, feeling the blood rushing to my cheeks in response. I’m glad he can’t see me.

Another nod.

“Sitting and staring at the monitor all day obviously isn’t the best. My pop always says that a desk job is the worst thing in the world. He’d put under-desk treadmills and exercise balls into every office if he could,” I say, letting out my anxiety with a faint chuckle.

After a moment’s resistance, the muscle finally relaxes, so I go in a little deeper, stretching out the knot.

Sam makes a…not exactly a yelp, more of a hiss. “Does it hurt?” I blurt out.

“Mhm. No. It’s…I think it’s helping,” he murmurs.

His shiny, thick hair is in my face, and so is his scent.

Blackcurrant, sweeter than ever before, with an afternote of sage that’s like balm on my soul.

Determined to make him feel even better, I knead around the surrounding muscles, trying to release the tension by working it outward.

‘No problem in the body is about one isolated spot,’ I remember Pop saying while he massaged my back in a similar way.

‘Every problem, sore area, a knot—they spread like a web through the nearby areas of the body.’

Sam keeps tensing up. I hope it’s for the right reason.

“Take a deep breath,” I encourage him.

He does. He inhales, and when he breathes out, the knuckles of my thumbs sink deeper into the tissue where the knot was, breaking up the remaining tension that lingered there. I feel the muscles flex and then loosen under my touch.

With a little shudder, Sam releases more than just the discomfort. His pheromones flood my nostrils, making me shiver in a different way. I flex my muscles and give his shoulders a few lighter strokes to ease him out of the massage.

He smells so damn good. I just want to bury my face in his hair and press myself into him…

As he lets out a gasp, I halt my movements.

He must have realized how much he let his pheromones go, because I see the sides of his neck and his ears flush with a glorious, lovely shade of dark pink in real time. “I— I’m sorry, I got…I got too comfortable and—”

“It’s okay,” I say quickly, even if my mouth waters.

“It’s okay, you’re…safe,” I whisper, perhaps a little too close to him.

I figure that when goosebumps bloom across his nape.

With a painfully awkward tap on his shoulders, I pull away.

“We’re all done, anyway. I say that as if I have any qualifications,” I pause with a snort, “but I did my best, and it should feel a little better at least?”

Sam shifts his shoulders, moves them up and down, then his head. He quickly puts his jacket back on, back still to me.