Page 33 of Thorns That Bloom (Venusverse #3)

“Their brain is developing at an incredibly fast rate at this point in time. The baby can track light, process information from their five senses, and... Oh, let me take a picture for you before they move! What a lovely memory to have,” the doctor mutters, quickly doing whatever she does on the machine to produce an image.

I’m still all gooey and teary-eyed by the time she’s done with the usual measurements. “Everything’s looking and measuring exactly as it should, Mr. Snyder. From what I can tell, you have absolutely nothing to worry about.”

“Good,” I say with a sigh of relief. “That’s good.”

“Indeed. Before I wipe you down, have you changed your mind on knowing the gender, or are we still leaving it a surprise?”

Even the baby stirs inside me in response to the question.

Catching my breath, I tighten my hold on the shirt I’m holding rolled up and dart my eyes across the screen.

Without thinking, without understanding why, the next place I look is Theo.

As if, subconsciously, I’m primed to go to him for advice.

He still seems so excited. His brows are raised, and his eyes buzz with energy like he’s on some drug. “Do you not want to know?” he asks, his voice low and understanding, with a hint of curiosity.

I blink and let out a trembling exhale. “I-I do,” I whisper.

“It’s not like it really matters, does it? As long as the baby’s healthy.”

The carefree way he says it touches something within me. He’s right. It doesn’t really matter. It changes nothing. Why did I worry it would? “You’re right,” I say, almost to myself, and finally meet the doctor’s gaze. “I’d…like to know the gender, if that’s okay.”

The doctor smiles, shifting the probe against my skin again. She moves for a few moments to find the right position. “To confirm the notes I’ve already made after one of your previous anatomy scans… Here, you can see quite clearly that you’re having a baby girl.”

If oxygen filled my lungs before, now it’s all helium, expanding rapidly and filling my chest with joy. A baby girl. I feel like I could float away with happiness, and also like I’ve never had deeper roots in this world, in this life.

My girl. I’ve never loved anything or anyone more. I’ve never understood the meaning of the word properly until now.

“Oh,” is all that comes out, because words don’t do it any justice.

“A girl,” Theo whispers, looking down at me. His eyes soften as he meets mine, and for a moment, I swear I see him tearing up just as I do.

I smell his pheromones. They wrap around me like a blanket; intense but comfortable. When I blink and look down, I notice that—somehow, some way—he’s holding my hand and…I just let it happen.

“Have you given any thoughts to names?” the doctor asks while wiping my stomach.

A girl. My little girl. It keeps sounding inside my head like a lullaby. “Not really,” I mumble, dazed.

“There’s no rush. You still have time, but things are going to start moving quickly. You can get down now. Let us discuss some vaccinations and your birth plan before you go.”

The rest of the appointment passes in a blur. I barely pay attention to what the doctor says. Questions about a hospital bag, birth plan, or baby’s positioning and when to start worrying about them—her—turning the right way for birth all get lost in the fluffy cloud of euphoric haze.

So many questions swirl inside my head once we leave the office.

Should I change the nursery? So far, I’ve bought mostly beige, yellow, and pale green toys and clothes. Not like she will care. Not that it matters at all.

Oh god, will I be able to bring up a girl by myself? Again, it wouldn’t be that different from a boy, but—

I shiver at the thought that comes into my mind next: Am I a bad person for being glad somewhere deep down that it isn’t a boy? For not having to fear that he’d grow up to look exactly like one of those men whose faces are burned into my mind?

“You haven’t thought about names at all? You must have some that you like, surely,” Theo says. Until now, he’s been walking next to me, staring at the ultrasound picture of the baby sucking her finger with an amazed grin, nearly bumping into walls and people.

I shake the doubts out of my head and try to focus on what Theo is saying.

“To be honest, I’ve been thinking of the baby as this almost genderless…concept. I know it sounds weird, but I think it hasn’t really hit me yet that they’ll…she’ll be out at some point. A little baby girl…” I clutch my stomach and feel a faint movement inside.

“It’s incredible. What you can do, I mean. Being able to create life. I’ve never realized how mind-blowingly complex it is. And how much the pregnant person endures. It’s unreal!”

We lock eyes for a fleeting moment. The intensity of his gaze is almost too much, but not in a bad way. In a ‘making my heart flutter and my face grow hot’ way.

“Anyway, I suppose I should start picking out names. I want something…” I go quiet, embarrassment flushing through my chest at the word I want to use.

It’s silly. The whole idea that she’s the thing that saved me. It almost feels wrong to put her in that position. She’s more than an excuse for me not to have broken down after what happened, but I will never be able to put into words how much her being here, no matter the reason, means to me.

Theo stops in the doorway out of the obstetrics unit, holding it open for me, and raises his brows, still waiting for me to finish the sentence.

I watch that lovely face of his, and it hits me he might be the only person I don’t actually feel embarrassed around voicing it, so I do.

“Something whimsical. Whimsical and meaningful. Not just a boring, normal name.”

“Like Sam?” he says with a grin, and I burst out laughing.

“Yeah. Nothing like Sam,” I say with a roll of my eyes.

I walk through the door and wait for him to catch up with me on the other side. Theo studies my expression, clearly pleased by my lingering amusement, and hands me the sonogram picture back. “I do love your name, though. It suits you. Sam.”

I like the sound of it from his lips. It comes out so effortlessly. Like pouring honey. Always gently. With care and affection.

For whatever reason, I find myself just standing there, mere inches away, staring at him.

The lovely food he cooked for me still sits in my stomach.

The enthusiasm he showed today has made me feel like I’ve been living through a regular experience like everybody else.

Like those loving couples who decided to bring new life into the world, nothing but happy and secure and content.

I part my lips, drawing in the scent of his pheromones.

They’re faint. I can tell he’s minding himself every time he’s around me.

Alphas usually smell stronger, even when they just go about their day.

They can’t help it. Their powerful, rousing scent is supposed to draw people like me in.

It’s meant to be magnetic and alluring to attract omegas on the most primitive, innate level.

Offering everything that matters in life.

Protection, care… Connection.

For the first time since the moment that shattered my world, I let myself be pulled in. Because…I want to. Theo’s eyes narrow and fixate on me as I lean closer. I swallow hard, suck in a deep breath, and when I exhale, I move toward those luscious lips of his.

I take his mouth in a hot kiss. The press of his lips against mine is somehow soft and solid all at once, and it sends a burst of electricity down my spine, out to the very tips of my toes.

Heat surges through me when his tongue slips over the seam of my mouth, asking—gently, so very gently—to be let in.

And by god, I open for him. A needy, pathetic moan escapes me as I close my eyes. Theo kisses me back. He kisses me back hungrily and tenderly, and his scent invades my senses.

It’s only when his hands hesitantly rest against my hips that I break the kiss, waking up from whatever dream I voluntarily stumbled into.

With a strangled gasp, I pull away until my back meets the wall.

“I…”

What the fuck am I doing? Friends. We are supposed to be friends. And I just…

Theo’s hands go up between us in a calming gesture.

Even though he looks almost as spooked as I feel, he puts on that caring mask with admirable swiftness.

“Hey, that’s…that’s alright! This isn’t a big deal, really,” he assures me with a smile.

“All those pregnancy hormones…I get it! You’re all over the place, you’re stressed out and tired, and it-it didn’t mean anything. ”

I nod slowly, even as the world still spins around me.

How could I let myself be swayed by whatever that was? After telling him that we can’t be together. After…

“I’ll take a taxi back to work, okay?”

“N-no, I can—”

“Sam.” His voice does that thing when it goes smooth and low, sending shivers all the way to my heels.

With a serious face, he steps closer to me again, touching my wrist so gently he might as well not be touching it at all.

“It’s fine. I’m a big boy. I can get back by myself.

Besides, my shift doesn’t start for a while. ”

His ability to put on that smile without a hint of any other emotion is exceptional. I can hardly see the disappointment behind it, but a dullness in his soft blue eyes betrays him.

I know he won’t change his mind, and I know that I’ve had enough stress for today, so I nod again. Theo steps away with an exhale.

“Drive safe,” he says. Putting his hands into his pockets, he flashes me one last smile and heads for the main entrance, where he’ll be able to get a taxi.

I don’t know if he walks so quickly because he doesn’t want to upset me any further or if it’s because what happened, what I did, has rattled him as much as it did me.

I’m afraid to find out which one it might be.