Page 14 of Thorns That Bloom (Venusverse #3)

Theo

A couple of guys and I stand around the vending machine by the back door of the manufacturing hall, enjoying our ten-minute break.

Most use the opportunity to go outside for a smoke, including Ben.

I usually just hang out. Now, I’ve got my phone in my face, focused on reading, like I’ve been doing what feels like every free moment of every day.

After a little while, I hear steps and then sense Ben lean over me, blowing the smoke remnants of the cigarette he just finished outside in my face. Coughing, I flash him an annoyed glare. He smirks, his eyes instantly studying my screen.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, this again?” he groans, rolling them into the back of his head.

I half-heartedly push him away. “Leave me alone, man.”

Ben snorts, shaking his head at me. I don’t like the way he brings everyone else’s attention to us. Furthermore, I don’t like his endless mocking, especially when it’s about something that’s important to me. Sometimes, he acts like he’s the younger one, not the other way around.

“Are you reading about that fated mates bullshit again? You becoming a dualist or something? Please, don’t. I can’t stand religious nuts.”

“I’m not joining the dualists,” I say sharply, pushing the words through my clenched teeth.

Most of the time, Ben is fine, decent company.

A good work buddy. Yeah, we hang out outside of it from time to time, but he isn’t exactly someone I would confide in or call for help.

Moments like these, I’m reminded that he’s a good ten years older than me and probably sees me the same way—a kid who’s fun to be around at work, to pass the time while spending half our lives here, but that’s about it.

“Do you gotta keep mocking me about this? I’m just reading.”

Like he realizes I’m serious, which I’m not that often, his expression softens. Sighing, he leans onto my shoulder. “Alright, alright,” he says, making a face that somewhat conveys he’s apologetic.

Frowning and pursing my lips, I stick my phone into my pocket. “I’m going back,” I say and head for the manufacturing floor. I wish I had someone to talk about this, but everyone I know would think I’m losing my mind.

Ben catches up with me.

“Come on, man! I’m just messing with you. It’s weird seeing you this focused all of a sudden, that’s all. You’re always all chatty and jokey on breaks, but now you keep staring into your phone. It’s unsettling.”

For whatever reason, the way he says it makes me chuckle. “Are you saying I’m thinking too much for your liking?”

Ben snorts. “Right. We all like you here like my wife likes you—a cute little entertaining dumbo. Pondering fated mates and other serious shit doesn’t suit you.” He leans in with a playful wink.

I burst out laughing, nearly tripping as we walk through the door onto the main floor.

I guess he really is apologetic, bringing out his wife like that.

Being a beta married to an omega, he does get kinda insecure about it sometimes.

“Did you just call me cute?” I ask with a grin, dropping my voice like it’s some dirty secret.

Discomfort flashes over his face, but the way he frowns is good-natured. “Tsk. Purely platonic. Like you don’t know, pretty boy,” he mutters, a hint of jealousy hidden somewhere behind his words.

Smirking, I glance to the side at him.

It’s not like I can be mad at him. Fated mates is a concept unique to the venusfolk.

I didn’t even realize it might be upsetting to him because of that implication.

An implication that it’s something he could never have with his wife.

“It’s all good,” I say softly before I break away from him and go sit in my spot.

It’s true that I’ve been distracted, maybe to a concerning degree. But it’s all I can think about, and I don’t know how to make it stop.

Sitting in front of my machine, I quickly settle into my rhythm—moving parts, putting things together, getting into the mindless yet focused cycle.

At the back of my mind, Sam is still there. He’s been a permanent feature of it ever since I saw him. That’s not normal. I know it isn’t.

So it must be something like the fated mates shit, no matter how ridiculous that sounds. No matter how little reasonable evidence there is behind it. No matter how few people take it seriously.

Because what else is it if not that? Am I just losing my mind? Did something click wrong inside my head? I can’t believe that. I don’t want to believe that, because that would make me nothing but some crazy stalker.

What else could I call this gnawing, ever-present need to get close to him? To see him and hear his voice and smell his scent and learn more about him? Even after he very clearly told me he isn’t interested.

It hurt. Not at all in that ego-bruising way. It just…hurt hurt.

Not like he was taking away something I deserve to have, or something that is mine, but more like some huge cosmic injustice.

I can’t even be sure of myself anymore. Was it really a hint of hesitancy in his eyes when he said it? Did he say it only because I’m a stranger? Because…someone harmed him in some horrible way? And if the child in his belly is a result of that, it wasn’t too long ago. A few months, maybe.

A lot of people, Ben included, would be telling me to run for the hills if they suspected what I suspect. If they knew how much I just want to get closer to Sam, they'd call me insane. But I still want to.

Oh, I want to be around him so damn bad. Even if I’m like the moon, orbiting him from a distance. That’s fine. Perfectly fine.

The moon exists for no other reason than to rotate around and benefit the Earth. It serves it, gives it light in the dark. I can do that. Maybe that is exactly what I’m here for. To…help him in this difficult time, somehow.

Even if I have to wait a long, long time to maybe come in actual contact, to inch close enough for impact, I can deal with that. If we’re really made for each other—if there’s something special and real about this insane pull I feel toward him—then it will happen, eventually.

I nod to myself, smiling faintly. I won’t pressure him.

I won’t fuck this up. It’s the only time in my life that I’ve felt something this intensely spectacular.

A sensation that feels like it’s coming from somewhere outside of me.

Something greater and more solid than any emotion I could conjure in my own head.

It’s the only way. But it doesn’t mean I won’t try to inch a little closer on the orbit here and there. Because there’s only so long I can struggle against that pull…

The universe throws an opportunity in front of me the very next day. Ever since I offered that one time, it seems like Madison has decided I’m now the person to go to Engineering when something needs fixing.

I’m not even sure why people have been so unwilling to do it in the first place. Each time I go up there, everyone is nice enough. I guess just being friendly from the get-go does a lot, instead of coming in with the mentality of entering some sort of enemy territory.

And, of course, I’m more than happy to do it, because it means I have an excuse to maybe see Sam.

I didn’t see him in the cafeteria for lunch.

I might have missed him, sure, but something tells me he hasn’t been.

So I take the opportunity by grabbing some food I made at home and bringing it to work with me.

A plate of salmon for lean protein, with a side of steamed leafy greens and green sprouts for fiber and vitamins, and some rice.

Plus a few cubes of juicy mango. I remember Pop saying he craved mango constantly when he was pregnant with Gail and me.

From what I read online, this should be a balanced, healthy meal for someone in Sam’s condition. I hope he likes it. I hope he doesn’t have food aversions.

Did I make the meal mostly with him in mind? Ridiculously, absolutely crazily, because that’s what I like doing for the people I care about? Maybe. And how insane is it that I might actually have a chance to give it to him, too?

On my way to his office, I’m so nervous that my stomach feels like I’m on a boat in the middle of the ocean, and the deck is pitching below my feet.

Sam’s door is wide open. I slow my pace, almost subconsciously, and hold my breath, inching toward it.

I hear faint talking, so at first I wonder if he’s there with someone.

When I poke my head in, I see him back there, and my heart flutters wildly in response.

He’s sitting in the chair—having rolled it away from the desk—looking like he’s having a break.

Unaware of my presence, he stretches out, arms flexing above his head, before he bends down again, smiling at his belly as he puts his hands on it.

“You’re awfully busy today,” he says in a voice so soft and tender it makes my cheeks burn. “What are you doing in there, huh?”

Oh, it’s almost like I’m in a trance. And it’s not just because the room is filled with his pheromones; thick and deep as I breathe them in, like I’m savoring aged wine. The blackcurrant is sweet, and the sage’s earthy. The two tones complement each other perfectly.

As I stare at him, I feel something slither at the bottom of my stomach. A wild, overwhelming urge. One that almost reminds me of…

Am I starting my rut? No, that shouldn’t be possible. It’s too early.

Knowing I can’t stand here watching him like a creep, I gently knock on the door. That, and perhaps my movement, makes him glance up sharply. He looks taken aback. Like I interrupted something secret and important.

“Hey,” I say carefully, stepping into the threshold but not moving any further. I feel like a giddy teenager talking to him. I examine his reaction for the slightest show of emotion, hoping for a positive one.

The way he studies me is cold, but not entirely annoyed. More…reserved.

“Theo. Hi,” he says. My name on his lips is like a song. In fact, I have to gulp and blink to not focus on it too much.