Page 44 of This Kind of Forever

“I’ll be there,” I say. “I’m not sure about Gabe’s work schedule, but?—”

“I’ll make it work,” he declares. Because he knows going alone would be too much for me.

The guilt sinks its claws in deeper. But of course, I won’t refuse his help.

“Perfect.” Caitlyn smiles fully now. “I’ll get your number from Dad and send you the details.”

Her casual use ofDadthrows me off, and I’m unable to form a reply.

“How did you two meet?” Gabe asks her, saving me. Always saving me.

Amara smiles, and Caitlyn’s eyes dance. They both look so happy and in love. For a moment, I’m envious, but I stuff those feelings down. I don’t want to feel any bad emotions toward my half sister. It’s certainly not her fault I messed things up with Gabe and haven’t been able to move on since.

“We were assigned as roommates when we were both in residence our first year at Queen’s,” Amara replies. “We got along well and became friends, but we went our separate ways after graduation.”

“Then by chance, three years ago, we were both attending the same work conference,” Caitlyn continues. “We spent all our free time together that weekend, and the rest is history.”

“What about you?” Amara asks us.

Oh, God. I begin to sweat a little. Of all the things I thought about, I didn’t think to create a cover story. How stupid.

“My sister claims Hallie as her best friend,” Gabe says, “but I like to think she was mine first.”

Mine, mine, mine. The word plays on a loop in my head.

My gaze swings to him, trying to catch his eye. I have no idea where he’s going with this.

“We met the first day of kindergarten. Clara, my twin sister, was sick the first week, so I had Hallie all to myself. That quickly changed when Clara came to school, but Hallie was always there as we grew up. She moved to Toronto when we were eighteen, and we lost touch. She was never far from my mind, though.” He turns to me, a soft smile on his lips. “I tried to move forward, and I did for a while. We both did. But when she came back to Kip Island, it was like no time at all had passed.”

They say a good lie is rooted in truth, but I hate hearing these words pass his lips. Because while Gabe has my father and his family fooled, I think he may have me fooled, too. I want so badly to believe him. Believe he means what he says.

But he didn’t tell them how I broke his heart.

“That’s so sweet,” Caitlyn gushes, hand on her chest.

“Do you have any wedding plans yet?” Kevin asks.

“Not yet.” I can feel my smile wobbling, but I hold on to it for dear life. “We’re enjoying being engaged for now.”

Until my lie has run its course.

“Well, when the time comes, I’m here if you need any tips. Mom and I spentmonthsironing everything out for ours,” Caitlyn says.

My stomach twists, and I’m struck with how sisterly her offer feels. How badly I wish I could actually take her up on it, for no other reason than to know what it feels like to have an older sister giving me advice. Maybe one day, I’ll be engaged for real, and have an actual wedding.

It just won’t be with Gabe.

The conversation shifts then. Bryan talks a bit about his work as a veterinarian, and my siblings and father ask Gabe what it’s like working for the fire department. I know that part is nice forGabe. They have no idea who his brother is, so the conversation doesn’t get pulled in that direction for once.

I try to engage as much as possible, but it’s hard when I feel Dana’s eyes boring into me, and the weight of my lies threaten to bury me.

You don’t have to lie forever. Just a little while longer.

SEVENTEEN

GABE

Silence suffocatesus as soon as we get in the truck. That dinner was something else. I’m trying not to judge, butfuck, Dana made that hard not to do.