Page 55 of Things We Need to Say (Second Chance Love Stories #2)

Heather laughed. ‘Says you. With your youth, your looks and your slim figure.’

‘Looks aren’t everything.’

‘They are when you haven’t got them.’

‘So what are you going to do? Wallow in self-pity for the rest of your life?’

Heather sighed. ‘What choice do I have?’

Emma stood up again. ‘You have the choice not to be bitter and twisted. You have the choice to concentrate on what you do have and make the best of it. Make a real go of your life, rather than sitting here in your own mess, thinking how badly everyone has treated you and taking it out on everyone else.’

‘Hah, you make it sound so easy.’

‘No, it’s not easy.’

‘And how would you know?’

‘Because, Heather, I don’t have the perfect life you’ve imagined.

No one does. I’m on my own too. My parents live abroad and don’t give a stuff about me.

My ex-boyfriend was obsessed with his career so now I’m living in staff accommodation in one tiny room, that most of the time I daren’t leave in case I get pounced on by someone who won’t take no for an answer.

But it’s not always going to be like this.

I’m going to make the most of every opportunity and do something with my life. ’

‘Good for you. But I don’t have your opportunities.’

‘Opportunities don’t just come along,’ Emma replied. ‘You have to make them happen.’

‘There you go again, thinking you know everything. Sit down and I’ll tell you about opportunities or lack of them.’

Emma sat down and Heather continued.

‘You say your parents don’t have time for you, but at least you have parents.

I didn’t know my father. In fact, I don’t think my mother even knew him.

He was just someone she slept with when she was blotto with drink.

She loved a drink, did my mother. In fact, she loved the drink more than anything else, including me.

Even when I was little she’d leave me on my own for hours, often days at a time, when she was on a bender.

And when she came back, it was me who looked after her rather than the other way around.

She died of liver failure when I was twelve.

Looking back, it was amazing she even lasted that long.

‘After that I went from one foster home to another. No one loved me enough to keep me and then I went into a children’s home with all the other kids that no one wanted.

And if you think I was a bully, you don’t know how bad bullying can be.

Most days, I just didn’t want to live. But then I met someone.

He was called Billy. We fell in love and I thought that was it, that we’d be together for ever, just like in the films. But he left the home before me and got into a bad crowd.

’ She paused and Emma could see she was struggling with her emotions.

‘One night, I was waiting for him at the precinct after school, but he didn’t turn up.

I was devastated. I thought he’d gone off me.

Like everyone else, I wasn’t good enough for him.

Later I found out he’d been in a fight. The other boy had a knife and that was the end of my Billy. ’

‘Oh, Heather, I’m so sorry.’ Emma wanted to hug her, but didn’t think Heather would welcome it.

‘And that was that. I realised then that the only person I could ever rely on was myself. And so I did. I got myself a job and I worked my way up. But I never made friends. I couldn’t trust anyone to stick around and I’ve been lonely all my life.

I admit I took my unhappiness out on the staff I was supposed to be managing because I was jealous.

Not very attractive I know, but I can’t help the way I am.

And you. I was more jealous of you than anyone else.

With your fancy friends and your connections.

I couldn’t figure out why you’d want a job as a trainee manager at the Rosemont when you had all those endless opportunities.

And then you tried to befriend me and that made me even angrier.

I didn’t want your pity and I’d never trust someone like you.

I went out of my way to make your life miserable.

’ She paused. ‘So there you have it. I’m not a nice person and I deserve everything that’s happened to me. ’

‘No, you don’t,’ Emma said quietly. Heather looked up. ‘Yes, you’ve done some nasty things. In fact, I used to dread coming in to work, not knowing what was in store for me each day. But at the back of my mind I always knew there must be a reason for it. And now I know.’

‘Good for you. You’ve salved your conscience, so you can go now.’

‘And what about you?’

‘What about me?’

‘Are you going to sit here wallowing in self-pity or are you going to clean yourself up, get out there, get yourself a job, and make something of your life? Maybe even find yourself some friends.’

Heather laughed. ‘Who would want to be friends with me?’

‘Me for a start,’ Emma said. ‘Now, get yourself in the shower, wash your hair and put on some fresh clothes while I start cleaning up this place. It stinks.’

Heather stared at her open-mouthed for a moment, then turned on her heel and walked into her bedroom.

Smiling, Emma went into the kitchen. But her smile quickly slipped as she took in the devastation. It was far worse than the living room. She found some bin bags tucked away in a drawer and started by tipping all the rubbish into them.

Three big bags were stacked by the back door by the time Heather emerged from the shower. Her hair was wet and she was wearing clean clothes and smelling much fresher.

‘Better?’ Emma asked.

‘Much,’ Heather replied. ‘Why are you doing this?’

‘Because everyone needs some help from time to time. And I’m not doing it out of pity before you say anything. I’m doing it because I think that you deserve a second chance. You’ve had it tough.’

Heather shook her head in disbelief. ‘I don’t get why you want to help me.’

‘Well, I do,’ Emma said. ‘But don’t think I’m doing all this clearing up on my own.’ She threw a clean tea towel at Heather. ‘You’re on drying-up duty.’

Together they cleared up the flat and an hour later it was looking — and smelling — much better.

‘Thanks for this, Emma,’ Heather said when they decided to call it a day. ‘I got myself into a rut and I didn’t know how to get out of it.’

‘I’m glad I came. You’ve helped me too, you know. I was carrying around so much guilt about the way you left, but now I understand what was going on.’

‘That I was being a complete bitch.’

Emma smiled. ‘You were, but at least I know why. Now, I don’t know about you but I need a cup of tea.’

‘You’ll be lucky,’ Heather replied. ‘There’s no milk or much of anything to be honest.’

‘Then we’ll go to the shops?’ Emma asked.

‘Let’s go to the pub first. There’s one down the road that isn’t too bad and does okay food. I’ll get you a meal and a drink, and then I’ll get some stuff to tide me over until I do a proper shop tomorrow.’

‘Okay, then,’ Emma said. She felt pleased that Heather seemed keen to get out of her rut. ‘But you don’t have to pay for me.’

‘Yes, I do. If only to thank you for everything you’ve done for me today.’

* * *

Emma sat back, full after eating an enormous plate of pie and chips, and drinking two glasses of wine from the bottle she and Heather were sharing.

She smiled. ‘You know, you’re surprisingly good company when you make the effort.’

‘You aren’t so bad yourself,’ Heather replied. ‘Maybe I should have taken you up on your invitation before.’

‘Maybe you should. But let’s not dwell on the past.’

‘Well, that’s a thought. Might be a hard habit to break. But you’re right, I do need to focus on the future.’ She paused and then almost whispered, ‘Emma, you won’t tell the others about my past, will you.’

‘Others? You mean the staff at the Rosemont.’

Heather nodded and Emma put her hand over hers. ‘I know you must find it difficult, but you can trust me. And, no, I’m not going to go tittle-tattling back to the staff at the hotel. I wouldn’t even if I had anyone to tittle-tattle back to.’

‘But you’re great friends with the crowd, aren’t you?’

‘Not really. I’ve been out with them a few times. And I really like Jenny in HR. But apart from that, they’re really only work colleagues. I wouldn’t call them friends.’

‘And what about Nick? He was always drooling over you like a little lost puppy dog.’

‘Ah, yes, Nick. He’s the one who won’t take no for an answer, even though I’ve made it perfectly clear that nothing is ever going to happen between us.’

‘I thought you liked him.’

‘I was lonely and I wanted some friends. Jay was always far too busy, especially when he got involved with the competition. And, yes, I admit, like you, I was jealous. He shut me out of his life, celebrated his successes with his fellow competitors and made me feel like I didn’t count.

So I ended it and that’s why I’m living at the Rosemont. ’

‘But you’re still in love with him?’

Emma nodded and felt herself well up.

‘And are you sure it really is over between you? From what you’ve said, it sounds as though there might still be a chance for you two.’

‘I don’t know. His work will always come first.’

‘And you’re pretty work-driven from what I can see.’

‘I am, but it’s not just that.’

‘What is it, then?’

Emma stared into the depths of her wine glass. ‘Okay, this is going to sound silly, but I felt like he didn’t love me enough. He made me feel like I didn’t matter, and I loved him so much that I couldn’t cope with that.’

‘We all need to feel as though we matter,’ Heather said.

‘He kept saying he’d change, that he’d try harder, but he never did. And besides, if he had really loved me he wouldn’t have had to try so hard. That’s why I can’t go back to him. I can’t risk getting hurt like that again.’

To Emma’s surprise, Heather burst out laughing. ‘We’re more similar than I ever expected.’

Emma smiled back. ‘Maybe you’re right.’

‘And yet, you’re prepared to give me a second chance, someone you don’t even like, but you’re not prepared to do that for the man you love.’

‘That’s because I have too much to lose if I do give him another chance.’

‘Looks to me like you’ve lost everything already. So in that respect you don’t have anything to lose.’

‘It’s not that simple.’

‘Then make it simple. Give him a chance to talk to you. You might find that he loves you more than you think he does.’

‘That does make sense, I suppose. I still value him as a friend.’

‘There you go, then. Practise what you preach and take the opportunity.’

Emma nodded. ‘Maybe.’

‘Good.’

‘And what about you? What are you going to do?’

‘I’m going to get myself a job. Maybe not in management.’ Heather laughed. ‘I don’t think I’m very good at that. And something that doesn’t involve a lot of paperwork. I hate that.’

‘I had noticed.’

Heather’s smile faltered. ‘I know you think it was because I was lazy. But it’s actually because I’m dyslexic.’

‘Oh! Why didn’t you say something? I could have helped.’

‘I didn’t want your help, remember?’

‘Yes, okay, but I’m here to help now if you need me.’

‘Thanks,’ Heather said. ‘I’ll bear that in mind. But I need to get back on my feet through my own efforts.’

‘But you’ll stay in touch?’

‘Of course I will. I want to hear what happens with you and Jay.’