Page 13 of Things We Need to Say (Second Chance Love Stories #2)

Jay was faffing. He knew he was faffing, checking and double-checking everything he needed for the day ahead, but he couldn’t help himself.

He’d barely slept all night and, when he did finally fall into a fitful slumber, he’d dreamed about turning up without a vital ingredient and everything going wrong.

For about the hundredth time he wished he’d never entered this competition. Just what did he need to prove anyway?

‘Do you want me to come with you?’ Emma asked quietly.

‘No. I need to do this on my own!’ The moment the words were out of his mouth, he regretted them.

She’d been nothing but supportive in recent weeks, dealing with his moods swinging from elation when things had gone right to downright despair when they hadn’t.

‘I’m sorry. I know you’re only trying to help and I do appreciate it, but I’m no company and I’d rather be on my own. ’

‘I understand,’ she replied good-naturedly. ‘But I’m not in work today, so if you need to ring me, at any time I’m here for you.’

Jay reached out to give her a hug. He had to admire how calm she always was with him. He wasn’t sure he would have handled it so well if it had been the other way around.

He sighed. ‘This whole competition seems to have taken over our lives.’

‘It’s important to you and I understand that. At least you know you’ve got the dishes down to perfection. You could cook them in your sleep.’

‘Hopefully.’ He secretly thought to himself that he was so wound up with nerves, he didn’t think he’d remember his own name later, let alone how to cook.

‘No hoping about it. And the dishes are wonderful — I can testify to that.’

‘You should do, you’ve eaten them enough times.’ He’d barely cooked anything at home other than his entries for the competition recently and she’d always been a willing guinea pig for his trials.

‘True, and they are delicious, but I must admit that I won’t miss them after today. Although, taking in spare treacle tart to work has made me very popular. Even Heather seems to have thawed a little.’

‘Wonders will never cease.’

‘And if it was down to a public vote, you’d definitely have the Rosemont Hotel voting for you.’

‘Good to know,’ he said. His mind wandered again, as he wondered if he’d forgotten anything.

‘Give me your list,’ Emma said.

‘What?’

‘Give me your list of everything you need to take and I’ll tick it off as you put it in the van. That way you’ll know you haven’t forgotten anything.’

He smiled and wondered what he would do without her. ‘Thanks, Em.’

‘Nothing to thank me for.’

‘Yes, there is — you’ve been brilliant.’

‘And you’re going to smash it. And in anticipation of that, shall I book us a table somewhere tonight and we can eat out for a change?’

‘I might not feel up to it.’

‘Okay, well, I’ll cook for you, then. I’ll get a bottle of wine in and we can have a relaxing evening at home together.’

‘Perfect,’ he replied as they loaded up the van.

On the journey to Greenwich, where the heats were taking place, Jay thought more about Emma and how grateful he was that she was in his life.

If he’d still been with Susie, there’d have been nothing but arguments, tantrums and complaints about being neglected.

Instead, Emma had taken it in her stride, especially while he was still working crazy hours as Liz’s morning sickness continued.

He knew Emma was suspicious and had taken to calling Liz most days to see how she was.

He hated lying to her and on more than one occasion had been tempted to come clean.

But it wasn’t his secret to tell and he had promised Liz.

Thankfully she was going for her twelve-week scan today, so soon the secrecy would be over.

The satnav announced he’d arrived at his destination and he looked up at the large warehouse where the heats would be taking place. He pulled up beside a man wearing a high-vis jacket and wound down the window.

‘Are you a competitor?’ the man asked.

Jay’s throat was dry with nerves. ‘I am.’

‘Go down that road there, take the first left, then right, and you’ll be in the car park at the back. Go through the door and register, and then you’ll be able to bring your stuff in.’

‘Thanks,’ Jay replied. He contemplated driving straight on and not bothering with the competition after all. But deep down he knew he couldn’t do that.

He parked up and walked towards the entrance, where a metal door was propped open. Inside, a young woman was seated at a circular table with a clipboard and a box of name tags in front of her.

‘Are you a competitor?’ she asked.

‘Yes, Jay Williams.’

She looked down her list and then ticked him off. Another young woman in a white shirt and black skirt with her hair tied back into a neat ponytail appeared from further down the corridor.

‘Leanne will show you where your workbench and the changing rooms are, and then you can bring your ingredients in and start familiarising yourself with the equipment. After that you can get changed, and the heats will begin at eleven o’clock. Okay?’

‘Yes, that’s fine,’ Jay said. His legs trembled as he allowed himself to be led down the corridor. Treat this like a normal function , he told himself as he resisted the urge to ask where the nearest toilets were so he could be sick.

Leanne led him into a room containing eight large workstations, surrounded by cookers, fridges and equipment, with a long table and three stools at the front.

His stomach churned again as he imagined the stools occupied by the three judges, watching the competitors’ every move as they cooked.

Get a grip, he told himself as he remembered Emma’s words about being able to cook these dishes in his sleep.

He certainly hoped she was right and that once the competition started his muscle memory would kick in.

For the time being, he would concentrate on getting himself organised and try not to think about what lay ahead.

Jay managed to distract himself for the next half an hour and then changed into his chef’s whites, tying his traditional navy-and-white headscarf around his auburn curls to keep them in check and to stop him running his fingers anxiously through his hair.

So far he’d managed to avoid talking to the other competitors.

He was afraid that would make him even more nervous, so had merely nodded at them politely.

But as they all gathered in the small lounge off the changing area, conversation was unavoidable.

There were eight of them in total — six men and two women.

Two of the men he judged to be in their early thirties.

One of them, Ben, had worked briefly at La Emporium.

He had short dark hair and a neatly clipped beard, and wore chef’s whites that looked brand new.

Jay recalled that he’d been quite fastidious by nature, but lacked creative flair.

He also remembered Ben as being cocksure, but that his skills weren’t as good as he gave himself credit for.

The other man of a similar age was in complete contrast to Ben.

As he’d shaken Jay’s hand he’d said his name was Demetri.

He looked scruffier than Ben, with long hair tied back in a ponytail.

His whites were older and bore the marks of food stains that hadn’t quite come out in the wash.

He wore his sleeves rolled up, and his arms and hands were heavily tattooed.

The two younger men looked to be in their early twenties, both with traces of acne still on their skin.

One, Andrew, was tall and thin with pale hair, freckles and a Scottish accent, the other more thickset man, was Dan, but they both seemed nervous and could barely look anyone in the eye.

There was one Asian man who had shyly introduced himself as Rav.

He had a few streaks of grey in his thick, dark hair, which was swept back from his forehead, and Jay guessed he was in his forties.

He smiled a lot and Jay wondered if it was from nerves.

Of the women, Lucy was perhaps in her mid-thirties.

She was short and thin, with mousey blonde hair in a scruffy bun, while Sarah was in her fifties, tall with short silver hair in a neat crop.

‘Well, there’s no going back now,’ Andrew said. He jiggled his leg nervously from his position on the sofa

‘No,’ Sarah replied. ‘I did this because I thought I needed a challenge, but now I’m beginning to wonder what I’m putting myself through.’

Jay agreed readily. ‘Me too.’

‘Life is boring if you don’t challenge yourself,’ Ben said in his overly confident manner.

Jay remembered something his mum used to say to him before an exam.

‘Just do your best — you can’t do any better than that.

’ He nodded to himself as he thought of her.

Although they were still at a tentative stage it was good to have her back in his life.

He hadn’t met up with his stepfather yet, but he knew that would have to come eventually.

In the meantime, he was happy enough to head into the competition with his mother’s wise words in his ears.

Leanne appeared at the door and said, ‘If you’d all like to come through, the judges are ready for you.’

Jay felt his stomach lurch again as he stood up. They all muttered hesitant wishes of good luck before following Leanne into the kitchen.

Jay positioned himself behind his workbench at the back of the room. He was glad he wouldn’t be in full view of the judges as they were seated at the table, although he knew that they’d be going around the room and speaking to each competitor, so he wouldn’t be entirely out of their gaze.