Page 4 of Things We Need to Say (Second Chance Love Stories #2)

‘Yes, I am,’ he said, finally pulling his arm away from her. ‘So if you don’t mind, I’d like it if you’d leave my— this kitchen.’

‘Well, if that’s your attitude then I’m better off without you,’ she said as she stalked back across the kitchen.

Jay breathed a sigh of relief as he went back to clearing up the kitchen. To see Susie and feel nothing had finally laid a ghost to rest. And she was wrong. It was he who was better off without her.

* * *

That evening, Jay and Emma lay next to each other on the sofa with the remains of a Chinese takeaway on the table in front of them and some mindless television on in the background.

All night Emma had been trying to put thoughts of Susie and Jay together to the back of her mind.

After the desserts had been served, she’d gone back to the kitchen, to make the coffee for the final stage of the event.

She’d just opened the door when she’d seen Susie in the kitchen, standing so close to Jay, her hand on his arm.

Assuming that Liz had told Jay Susie wanted to see him, and he’d agreed, Emma fled.

Later, when she’d plucked up the courage to go back, Jay was alone.

He hadn’t mentioned Susie’s visit, and had been silent about it all night.

Emma hadn’t the courage to ask him either, imagining that if she did he’d tell he was going back to his ex-girlfriend.

‘You’re quiet tonight,’ Jay said after they had sat in silence for a while.

‘I’m just tired,’ she replied.

‘I know what you mean. Finally we get an evening off together and look what we’re doing with it — slouching on the sofa. Back in the day, an evening off would involve drinking and dancing, not behaving like two old fogies.’

‘I think we deserve to put our feet up after the day we’ve had,’ Emma said. ‘And besides, I’d rather be snuggling on the sofa with you than in some noisy club.’

Jay put his arm around her and squeezed her gently. ‘Would you?’

‘Of course I would. Why do you ask?’

‘I just worry sometimes. You’re only twenty-two, you should be out enjoying yourself. I know I was when I was your age, and I fear that I’m holding you back because I’m over that now. These days I prefer a quieter life, but is that enough for you? You said yourself we’re in a bit of rut.’

Emma had never been a party girl — she too had always preferred a quieter life and she thought Jay knew that.

What she’d tried to explain earlier was that they didn’t see each other often enough.

Now, though, his words made her wonder if this was his exit speech.

Was he going to try to convince her that she didn’t want to be with him, rather than the other way around?

Jay continued when she didn’t answer. ‘I’m right, aren’t I?’

She decided to bite the bullet. ‘No. Actually I was thinking about something else. I saw Susie at the christening today. Did you know she was there?’ She wondered if he would confess about being with her in the kitchen.

‘Yes, Liz told me. And then Susie herself came to see me.’

‘Did you tell Liz you wanted to see her?’

‘I didn’t but she came into the kitchen anyway. So typical of Susie, only ever thinking about what she wants.’

‘And what does she want? To get back with you?’

‘Yes. She said it would be better second time around.’

‘And your reply was?’ Emma held her breath.

‘I told her we were in the past.’ Emma let out her breath in relief. He didn’t want Susie after all. She waited for him to say it was her he wanted to be with, but instead he continued. ‘Susie and I were a definite train-wreck and nothing would convince me to go back there.’

‘Well, that’s good to hear,’ she said. But once again she felt that tears weren’t very far away. What was wrong with her today? She was an emotional wreck. She should be pleased that Jay hadn’t wanted to get back with Susie, whatever the reason.

‘Going back to what we were talking about,’ he said, pushing the Susie issue aside as though it wasn’t important. ‘What are we going to do to make our life more exciting?’

Emma’s head was spinning at the sudden change in conversation. She wanted to delve deeper into why Jay didn’t want Susie, but he’d obviously closed down that conversation. She decided to follow his lead.

‘I know it’s often difficult to get time off together, but, when we do, maybe we should plan to make the most of it?’

‘What? Like date nights?’

‘Yes, something like that.’

He grinned. ‘I like the sound of that.’ He paused. ‘As long as that’s not too staid for you?’

‘Of course it’s not. You know I’ve never been much of a party girl. And I really don’t see our age difference as a problem. Its only eight years.’

‘Um maybe.’

‘You don’t sound convinced. Is it my age that bothers you more than yours? Am I too young for you?’

‘No!’ He sat up suddenly on the sofa and gathered her in his arms, kissing her gently. When he pulled away he said, ‘It’s my age that bothers me. I’m nearly thirty and I don’t feel like I’ve achieved half of what I wanted to by this age.’

‘You’re a partner in a successful business — I’d say that’s quite an achievement.’

‘It still feels more like Liz’s business than mine, though. Well, let’s face it, it is her business, whatever my contribution.’

‘But it wouldn’t be as successful without you.’

‘Yes, I know that but...’ He paused. ‘Take today for instance. Lord Weatherton came into the kitchen and assumed I was Liz’s chef. An employee. It really gets to me. I want to develop my own reputation.’

‘Have you told Liz that?’

‘No. I don’t know how to approach her about it. Or what she could even do if I did.’

Emma was surprised by the look of sadness on his face. ‘If I know Liz, she’d want you to be upfront with her. She can’t deal with something she doesn’t know anything about and she wouldn’t want you to be unhappy. You’re friends as well as business partners.’

Jay sighed. ‘That’s what I’m worried about. I don’t want to lose our friendship.’

‘You’re more likely to do that if you keep things from her. So what are you saying? Do you want to wind up the partnership?’

‘Not exactly, no. Not yet, at least.’ He paused. ‘You know I’ve always wanted to own my own restaurant.’

‘Yes, you used to talk about that a lot.’

‘It just seems so unattainable so I’ve stopped talking about it.’

‘Because you haven’t got the money for it yet?’

‘Exactly!’

‘So you still need to work with Liz.’

‘I do. And I love working with her. I just need to be able to do something for myself too.’

‘Like what?’

‘I don’t know. I was thinking about entering some competitions.’

‘What, like MasterChef ?’ Emma said with a laugh. She remembered Jay’s old obsession with the television programme.

‘No! I don’t think I’m brave enough for that. Not sure I would want to be filmed either. But maybe get some experience in some smaller competitions?’

‘I think it’s a great idea,’ Emma said, cuddling up to him again.

‘You do? I’m worried I’ll need to take time out of the business and that Liz will have to take everything on herself. And what about us? It would mean spending even less time together.’

‘But if you’re happier, then maybe we will be too. And I’m sure you can work it out with Liz. If you do well, it will be a great advertisement for the business.’

‘I hadn’t thought about it like that.’

‘Then you should. We only have one chance at life. Speak to Liz and see what she says. You never know, she might even be able to help.’

‘I will. But what about you? You haven’t seemed very happy recently either. If it’s not us, what is it?’

Emma sighed. ‘It’s work too.’

‘Is Heather still giving you a hard time?’

She nodded and blinked back the tears as she remembered once again the humiliation of the day before.

‘It’s getting worse and I’m not sure how much longer I can carry on working with her.

I dread going into work wondering what she’s going to do next.

’ She told him about what Heather had done yesterday and how it had made her feel. Jay hugged her closer.

‘No one deserves to be treated like that. I think you should make a complaint about her.’

‘I know, but I’m worried it’ll make it worse. I’ve only been there for five minutes. She’s been there for years. I don’t want to be seen as a troublemaker.’

‘You have witnesses, though. That must count for something.’

‘Maybe. But you know what this industry is like. You’re expected to tough it out.’

He sighed. ‘Yes, I do know what you mean. If you don’t feel like you can make a complaint about her now, why don’t you keep a diary?’

‘A diary?’

‘Yes. Write down every time she bullies you. That way, if she carries on and you feel you do need to make a complaint, you have the facts to back it up.’

‘That’s a good idea. Thanks, Jay. I always feel better when we share our problems.’

‘Me too. Trouble is, we don’t get enough time together usually to actually talk.’

‘No, we don’t. So let’s see what we can do next week and plan our date night.’

‘Sounds good.’

Jay yawned. ‘I don’t know about you, but I’m shattered. Fancy an early night?’

By the tone of his voice, Emma knew that he wasn’t talking about just sleeping. She kissed him softly, glad that their relationship seemed to be back on track.

‘Sounds good to me.’