Page 31 of Things We Need to Say (Second Chance Love Stories #2)

Emma came home to find Jay in the living room. He’d sent her a brief text to say he’d got through to the next round, but that was all she’d heard from him. ‘Congratulations on getting through.’ He looked up from his laptop.

‘Thanks.

‘You must be really pleased.’

‘I am.’

‘You don’t sound it.’

‘There’s still a lot of work to be done. Where have you been?’

‘I went for a drink with people from work.’

‘Was he there?’

She bristled at his tone. She didn’t feel as though he had any right to question who she was with when he was often so distant. ‘Who?’

‘Him. The one that walked you home the other week.’

‘Nick? Yes, he was there. Among others.’

‘And did he walk you home again?’

‘No. He didn’t. I got the Tube. Let’s not go through this again, Jay. You know you can trust me whoever I’m with. And for information, I was out with a group of colleagues to celebrate me finishing my four-week stint on Reception — in case you’re interested.’

‘Em, don’t be like that. Of course I’m interested.’

‘You’ve got a funny way of showing it.’

He shook his head. ‘I’m sorry. I’ve been caught up in—’

‘The competition.’ She cut him off. ‘And I also know how important it is to you, which is why I haven’t complained about the fact that I often feel like we’re just sharing a place to live, not in a relationship.

Once this competition is over, Jay, we need to sit down and have a long, honest conversation about where our relationship is going.

But until then, I think we should just try to get on with each other.

Which means that I won’t complain about your infatuation with this competition and you don’t complain if I occasionally go for a drink after work with my colleagues. ’

‘Fair enough,’ Jay said softly. ‘But just so you know, Em, I do love you and I do want this relationship to work.’

‘Sure.’ She left him to whatever he was doing.

* * *

As she lay in bed, Emma tried not to think about their conversation.

She’d told Jay that they needed to get through the competition before they made any decisions.

For now, she just wanted to push everything to the back of her mind.

She was drifting off to sleep, a combination of early starts and a couple of glasses of wine lulling her into slumber, when Jay came into the room.

As he changed and climbed into bed, she slowed her breathing so that he would think she was asleep.

But she need not have worried. Jay turned so that he was facing away from her, and kept himself to his side of the bed.

Immediately she wanted to reach out and hug him, to make everything all right between them.

But everything was not all right and she didn’t know how they were going to change that.

And even though Jay was lying in bed beside her, she couldn’t have felt more lonely.

* * *

Jay couldn’t sleep as he listened to the sound of Emma breathing.

He didn’t know what he was doing anymore.

This competition had become all-encompassing and he was neglecting every other aspect of his life: his business, his relationship with Emma and even his family.

He felt guilty that he hadn’t been to see his nan for weeks now.

And as for his mum, well, they’d exchanged a few texts, but he hadn’t had the time or headspace to meet up with her and talk properly.

A conversation that he knew was long overdue.

Why was he neglecting everything that was important to him?

So that he could massage his ego in a competition he could get kicked out of at any moment.

Initially he’d been overjoyed when his name had been called out and he’d realised that he’d got through to the next round.

Then he had felt a little bit daunted when he’d realised what it would entail.

But he knew that, with his experience of mass catering, he was better equipped than most to deal with it.

And he’d been delighted when he’d realised who his team members would be, as he knew they would work well together.

He was confident that the dishes they had chosen were good ones and that they’d be able to deliver them on time.

Once next week was over, he told himself, he would start concentrating on his real life and everyone around him who deserved better from him.