Page 90 of The Wolves of Forest Grove

With the bone set and my arm splinted and in a sling, the pain subsided quickly. Well, quickly enough anyway. The feeling of bone and muscle knitting themselves back together was almost just as bad, though.

Not painful exactly. Just cringeworthy.

Stella lent Clay her niece’s bike. Clay wanted to get us back as quickly as possible. Shifting wasn’t an option, and running wouldn’t allow for my arm to heal properly.

I couldn’t remember the last time I sat, perched atop the slim handlebars of a peddle bike. Probably not since I was eleven or twelve. Vivian was the one peddling back then.

Now, it was Clay. His frame dwarfing the bike as he stood up on the pedals to push us up an incline in the road, barely breaking a sweat.

The little white basket and frilly ribbons hanging from the front of the handlebars bobbed with each pump of his thighs.

The streamers glinted with silver and hot pink, trailing to either side.

His expression was unreadable in the first traces of sunrise.

The chilly air made the tips of my ears burn and clouds of air puffed from my lips.

The backroads were entirely clear of traffic at this hour of the morning.

Our only company for the ride were the sounds of our own breathing, the beginning of birdsong rising from the trees, and the chirp and croak of insects and other small creatures waking to start a new day.

So peaceful.

I could almost pretend my world wasn’t shattered and burning.

I realized where we were a few minutes later, recognizing the slim bus stop sign that Maggie used to drop me off at weeks ago. My lips parted and whirled to face Clay.

“What are you doing?” I demanded. “Why are you taking me to the cabin?”

My pulse spiked as I turned to glare at him, shuffling on the handlebars and jostling my arm. I winced.

“There’s not enough room in the Jeep for all of us,” he grumbled in reply, not meeting my gaze. “I’ll go pick everyone up—”

“Bullshit.”

Clay’s face darkened, and I lowered my leg enough that if he kept going, he was going to see me knocked to the ground. He grunted and slowed, cursing as he came to a stop.

“Allie,” he warned, his eyes glowing a dangerous blue as he tightened his grip on the handles.

I hopped off, grinding my teeth as I held my arm tight to my chest. “Clay,” I mocked, using the same dangerous tone.

“I’m going back with you,” I told him. “You really think I’m just going to wait at the cabin? Sit there and twiddle my thumbs while you go back there?”

Was he insane?

A muscle in Clay’s temple twitched, and in the glow of the early morning, I saw how his tan flesh paled.

Something tugged in my chest, and it took me a minute to realize what it was.

Fear. Clay’s fear.

Shared with me through the mate bond. My brows furrowed.

“I don’t want you near Ryland right now,” Clay began, enunciating each word as though he needed me to understand their full implication.

I tried not to let the bubbling rage in my gut come out my mouth. I wasn’t sure I’d ever felt fear from Clay before. Not like this. I couldn’t ignore that. But he needed to understand something…

“I don’t want you near Ryland right now.” His brows lowered.

He knew exactly what I meant.

Groaning, Clay threw a fist through his hair. “Why do you always have to be so goddamned difficult?”

“Why do you get to make my decisions for me?

Hmm?”

Exasperated, Clay let his head fall back and sighed. “If you think—”

“I can control myself,” Clay said, completely cutting me off. He leveled his blue eyes on me, fixing me with a pointed stare. “I can walk in there, and I can take his bullshit, and I can get your friends back to the cabin.”

I opened my mouth to disagree, but he stopped me with a look, continuing. “I can do that as long as you aren’t there.”

I cocked my head at him, confused.

“If Ry tries to punish you more than he already has…if he,” Clay swallowed.

“If he hurts you again, I won’t be able to stop myself, or my wolf, from trying to rip his throat out.

Jared’s uncle or not, Allie, if he moved against you again and I haven’t been commanded into stillness… ” Clay trailed off, shaking his head.

“I need you to stay at the cabin. It’s the safest place right now. Everyone’s at camp. They’ll all be waiting for us to get back.”

“And do you think Ryland’s going to be happy when you return without me?”

“I don’t give a flying fuck,” Clay bit out. “And I doubt Jared will, either. If he has a problem with it, he can take it up with us.”

I ground my teeth. I didn’t like this. Not one bit.

Even though I understood why Clay couldn’t have me return to camp, I still didn’t like the idea of him going back there.

Especially due to the fact that he’d be returning without me.

Ryland was going to be furious about that.

And Clay would be on the receiving end of that wrath.

“Maybe I should just go back and get them alone,” I muttered, knowing that the words were going to fall on deaf ears. “Jared and I can—”

“Fuck no.”

I sagged and a ball formed in my throat. My chest ached and as much as I tried to hold it back, my eyes burned as they welled with angry, pain-filled tears.

This wasn’t supposed to happen.

The crushing weight of everything that’d happened pressed down on me. I’d been numb to it before. It had been easy to focus on the agony of my physical pain, but as that began to wane, the reality of everything was setting in.

Layla and Vivian…

Oh god.

“Allie?”

A sob broke free from my chest, and I clutched at it, gasping at the sensation of a knife twisting somewhere unreachable beneath the bones of my ribcage.

How could this all be happening?

How had I allowed this to happen?

The bike fell to the side, crashing into the gravel along the side of the road. Clay’s arms circled me gently, being careful of the sling. He tucked my cheek against his chest and wrapped himself protectively around me. His comfort only made me sob harder, my whole body shaking.

I didn’t bother trying to keep it in anymore. I didn’t bother holding back. I screamed into his chest, clutching at him with hard nails. Needing to feel something solid. Something steady.

I screamed until it hurt to scream anymore. Until my voice was hoarse and my lungs felt like they might give out if I made another sound. All the while, Clay held me there against him, not speaking. Not moving. Just being there.

When my breathing began to even out, he moved just enough to kiss the top of my head.

Pressing his warm lips against my temple.

“I’m so sorry,” he said, his voice a gruff whisper.

His body was completely rigid beneath me.

I’d been so consumed with my own emotion that I hadn’t felt his seeping through until now.

Guilt. Anger. Pain. Fear. Loathing.

I shook my head, smearing tears over his bare chest as I pulled away, wiping my nose. Suddenly eager to be alone with my thoughts, I gulped hard and heaved a sigh.

“I’m sorry,” I managed, the words coming out jagged and watery.

Clay’s warm hands cupped my cheeks, prodding me to meet his gaze. “Don’t you dare apologize,” he said, his eyes hard and beginning to glow around the edges. “Not to me. Not ever.”

My chest ached again, but this time for an entirely different reason. I pressed my cheek into his palm and gave a little nod.

“I should go,” he whispered after a moment more. “Let me get you home and then I promise you, I’ll get your friends to you.”

I needed him to promise me something else, too. One more thing before I could watch him leave. “I need you to promise me that you’ll be with them when they come.”

His lips pressed into a firm line, and he dropped his hands.

“I couldn’t take it if anything happened to you.”

I needed everyone else I loved to be okay. I couldn’t take any more of this. The edge of my breaking point was near. That dark place in the back of my mind where the ugly thoughts lived had grown. I’d fought for years to keep that place at bay. To keep it contained.

It was too close to the surface for comfort now. The fluttering in my chest told me that if I wasn’t careful, I’d soon be consumed by it. Unable to think. Unable to breathe. The panic would take over until dark spots crowded my vision and I fell into that dark place. Plummeted into the abyss.

And if I fell, this time, I wasn’t sure if I would be able to rise again.

“Promise me,” I demanded. “Or I’m just going to follow you.”

Clay nodded once. A slow, measured movement.

I stood on tip toe and pressed my lips to his. Even a kiss as brief as this sent a wave of ecstasy rolling over my flesh. I broke the kiss and whispered, “Thank you.”

Clay shook his head. “Don’t thank me yet,” he replied. “Thank me when I get all of us back here.”

I nodded.

“Come on,” he said and lifted the bike from the gravel ditch at the side of the road. “Let me get you home.”