Page 35 of The Wolves of Forest Grove

Jared shut off the ignition and peered over at me in the passenger seat. “You did good on the run,” he said, his eyes shifty and back stiff. “If you want, we can go for another after school? Maybe a bit longer?”

I nodded, offering up a small smile. “Yeah,” I breathed. “Sounds good.”

It had helped. Some of the anxiety trying to rise in my blood, making my breaths come out stippled and shaking, had subsided after we’d come to a screeching stand still next to Jared’s jeep.

I’d probed around inside of myself, searching for that other entity that had been a constant since last week in the woods and found almost nothing.

There only remained a whisper of the wolf within. As though the thing was taking a nap, giving me full control of the reins for a while. I just hoped it would last for an entire school day, and hopefully, for my shift at the shop later this afternoon, too.

“Maybe I’ll even let you drive the Jeep back to the trailhead if you want,” he added in a teasing tone, opening his door to step out. I knew he was trying to lighten the mood, but his offer only made me shrink more into myself.

I stepped out of the Jeep and pushed the door closed behind me as Jared came around to my side. When he caught my expression, his brow wrinkled, “Did I say something wrong?”

“No,” I assured him, slinging my backpack over my shoulder and wondering in the back of my mind how I ever found it to be heavy. It felt like carrying a bag of air now. “It’s just…” I trailed off, trying to fight a blush. “I don’t know how to drive.”

Dad got sick a couple of years back and he’d died just last year, leaving me all alone with my aunt and uncle who couldn’t be bothered to teach me. Most high school seniors I knew either had their full license or were at least on their way to getting it.

I didn’t even have my learners permit.

What was the point? I couldn’t afford a car and Forest Grove had decent public transit. Besides, both Layla and Viv could drive. I didn’t need to.

Jared looked at me like I’d grown a second head. I thought about offering some sort of excuse but thought better of it. I didn’t owe him an explanation.

Once Jared was rid of his initial surprise, he shrugged. “Then you’ll just have to learn,” he said simply.

I opened my mouth again to protest, not wanting to take up any more of his free time than I already was these days, but he continued on talking as though I wasn’t about to say no.

“Clay’s a good teacher,” he mused, and a fraction of a second after he said it, I saw something in his eyes darken.

The twitch of a frown turned down the corners of his mouth.

Jared coughed. “I mean, he’s the one who taught me. But I think I could be a good teacher, too. If you’ll let me?”

I didn’t miss the change of tone when he mentioned Clay. I wanted to ask him what Clay’s problem was. Why he wasn’t talking to either of us. Why he was never home anymore. But I was afraid I already knew the answer.

It was because of me.

Because he couldn’t stand the thought of being mated to me.

Even though I never asked for it—didn’t want it either, the rejection stung.

Rushing to match Jared’s strides as we crossed the lot, I stuttered my response. “You don’t have to,” I told him. “Actually, I’m perfectly fine not driving. It sort of freaks me out. Besides, I can’t afford a car anyway and—”

“Allie,” Jared interrupted again, slowing to look down at me. The sound of my name from his lips rendered me momentarily mute, a warmth blossoming in my belly. Fuck.

Why did being around him have to feel so fucking good?

I grit my teeth, waiting for him to finish while I collected myself.

“It’s no big deal. So, don’t make it one, ‘kay? I don’t mind.”

I nodded numbly, pressing my lips together. “Alright. Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” Jared grinned down at me. “See?

Was that so hard?”

I snickered at him. Let me help you, he’d said to me once.

He’d also called me stubborn and he was right.

I didn’t know how to accept help when it was offered to me.

I’d felt like I was a burden since the time I was old enough to understand the meaning of that word.

And it wasn’t because Dad made me feel that way.

I just knew I didn’t want to be a burden to him or to anyone else.

Not after what happened.

I didn’t want to be a burden to Layla and Viv. Or my aunt and uncle. All this help Jared was giving me since he rescued me in the woods a couple weeks ago made me hideously uncomfortable.

But also sort of warm. Buried beneath multiple layers of discomfort there was something there I hadn’t felt since before Dad got sick; a sense of belonging.

Like, because it was Jared who was helping, it was okay. Or at least, more okay than if it were someone else.

“Hey,” Jared said, turning and coming to a stop only a stone’s throw from the side entrance to Forest Grove high. He adjusted the strap of his pack and searched my eyes. “You okay? You went somewhere dark there for a second.”

“Hmmm?” I murmured, suddenly acutely aware of all the people staring at us as they rushed into the school at the sound of the bell’s ringing. My neck was on fire as stare after stare penetrated my personal space. This was going to be a long ass day.

“Yeah,” I told him, a long sigh coming out with the word. I’d have to get used to him being able to pick up on my emotions now. “I’m good.”

“It isn’t Devin, is it? You don’t have to worry about seeing him here.”

I shuddered. For once, my abusive ex-boyfriend who turned out to be a clinically insane wolf shifter was not what I’d been thinking about.

But I sure was now. Thanks, Jared. “Did Ryland decide yet?” I asked, unable to help myself now that he’d brought it up.

I’d been afraid to ask, but maybe knowing one way or the other would help me get through today.

The memories came back in a flood of dread and my panic rose.

I still didn’t know…

I still wasn’t certain if he’d touched me while I was unconscious in that cave. The warring emotions of anger, disgust, and fear swirled in my belly. A tremor racked my spine and I had to shove down my wolf’s urge to jump to the surface, trying to defend itself from an invisible assailant.

“Did he decide what to do with him?”

Jared frowned, “No. But it’s looking like Ry’s going to banish him like we thought. He won’t be allowed anywhere near Forest Grove ever again. And if he does come back, any one of our pack has the authority to deal with him on sight.”

I knew what he meant by deal with him and I couldn’t deny that was exactly what my wolf—and to some extent, I—wanted.

I had this horrible feeling that he wouldn’t leave so easily.

Maybe for now he would, but one day, when he was stronger and maybe had a pack of his own, he would be back.

People like him didn’t quit until they had what they wanted.

What they thought belonged to them.

My knees quaked and a flashback of the dank, cold cave flashed vividly against my eyes.

“Right,” I said, unsure what else to say. There was nothing I could do about it and I couldn’t think about it anymore or else I wouldn’t be able to keep myself in control.

You’re safe, I told myself, trying to ease the tightness in my chest. He’s not here. Focus on the things you can control.

It was what the therapist dad hired to see me every Wednesday last year had taught me as a way to cope.

Don’t worry about things you can’t do anything to change, she would say as she talked me down from a panic attack over the phone. Instead, think of everything you can control. What can you control, Allie? List the things within your control.

I swallowed hard and pulled the heavy metal door open, but I tugged it with too much force, and it banged loudly against the brick exterior of the building, sending a sprinkle of brick dust to scatter over the blacktop. I grimaced. Jared did too.

“Let’s just get to class before I change my mind.”