Page 145 of The Wolves of Forest Grove

“Nothing,” Charity reported, head bent and cheekbones flaring as she clenched her jaw. “Not a fucking thing.”

Vivian stalked away from the search party, going to return to her cabin with a black cloud hanging over her head. She hardly left her cabin anymore, unless it was to join a search. She ate in there. Slept in there. I didn’t think she’d showered at all since Destiny vanished.

I sighed and gripped Charity’s shoulder, trying to lend her strength that I didn’t even have to give. “Thanks. Go get some rest and some food.”

“Want me to get a new party out while we’re taking a break?”

I ground my teeth, staring in the direction Vivian went. We’d had at least one search party going every minute of every day since Destiny vanished, but we were all at the end of our rope. The pack was exhausted. Underfed. Worn out.

We all needed a reprieve.

“No,” I said finally, though it hurt me to force the word out. “Take a rest. It’s almost noon now. We’ll send out another search party after dinner.”

Charity grimaced and pushed her heavy dreadlocks back from her face with a nod before departing. The others dispersed, too. Gone to fall into their bunks for a long nap. No one looked particularly excited for food, and I couldn’t blame them. One could only eat so many goddamned potatoes.

The hunting party managed to snag a deer in the early hours of the morning, though, so tonight at least, the pack would be well fed. Tomorrow, too, if we stretched it out. But I had a mind to let everyone eat their fill. They’d earned it. They needed it.

And in a few more days, we’d have our replacement meat order from Portland.

Hopefully, we’d only need to order from them a few more times before Sal had his cooler installed.

We’d had to pull back our pack from helping him for the time being, but he assured us that all he really needed was a workable space and his cooler and he could at least supply us with what we needed, even if he couldn’t operate for the general public yet.

I hesitated before heading after Vivian, wanting to check on her even though I knew I was probably the last person she wanted to see right now. A ball formed in my throat and sweat beaded at my brow that had nothing to do with the sweltering heat beating down on me from the afternoon sky.

I knocked twice on the door before entering, finding her sitting on the edge of the double bed she and her mate shared, her back bent. Head resting in her palms. She’d put on a t-shirt that I recognized as Destiny’s, and my heart ached at the sight of her in it.

“Viv,” I hedged. “Can I get you anything?”

She dropped her hands and twisted her head to flick her cutting gaze to me. “What do you want, Allie?”

“I just…”

What did I want?

To help her. But I knew damn well that there was nothing I could do except get Destiny back. Nothing else would ease the pain.

Vivian’s brown eyes narrowed on me, and her upper lip curled. “Just go, okay. Tell someone to come get me when the next search goes out.”

I stepped into the shadows inside and closed the door behind me, swallowing hard to try to rid myself of the still-growing lump trapping all the words I wanted to say from coming out. “The next search isn’t going out until after dinner. You should rest and eat, while you can.”

It seemed to take a moment for her to register what I was saying, moving slowly until her spine was erect, showing me just how much she needed to eat.

She looked rail thin. The hollows beneath her eyes were turning a bruised purple, and her hands were shaking even though she was clearly trying to force them still, clutching at her thighs.

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

My lips parted, but I wasn’t sure what she meant. “What do you—?”

“You’re not sending another party out?” Her tone was accusing, haughty with disdain that made my skin crawl. I’d heard Vivian use that tone on others. Her father. Assholes at school. But never me.

I steeled myself against the rise of panic in my chest and leveled what I hoped was a calm stare on my friend. “They need rest. Between the doubled patrols, the hunting party, the search parties, and extra security at camp, the quarry, and the pub, we are at the end of our—”

“No,” she seethed, getting unsteadily to her feet. Her face paling. “You aren’t giving up on her, Allie. You can’t.”

I held my hand up. “I’m not, Viv. I just need to keep us whole. We can’t find her or protect ourselves if we’re spread too thin.”

The pale tone of her skin quickly turned green, and I only just made it to her side before she fell to her knees and hugged a small trash bin to her chest, heaving bile into it.

I rubbed a hand up her back, bracing her as her body wracked and squeezed, twisting every last drop of whatever she’d managed to consume today out.

When she was finished, she wiped the back of her hand over her mouth and sat back heavily, uncaring as she knocked hard into the wood of her bed. “Please, Allie,” she begged, a deadness in her eyes. “I need to find her. I can’t...I can’t…”

Her shoulders shook, and I pulled her in tight, hugging her to me as she began to cry. My own eyes burned too, sharing the pain of my friend, but they burned with fury, as well. My wolf and I not at war for once, but at peace with the promise to destroy whoever did this to us.

“She’s gone…” Vivian sobbed. “She’s really gone…”

She sniffled, clutching on to me so tight I thought she might leave bruises, but I didn’t care. “What if she never comes ba—?”

“Don’t say that,” I interrupted, squeezing her tighter and then unable to help it, I did the thing I promised I wouldn’t. Vivian deserved to know. She had to know or else she was going to go insane. I couldn’t give her details or a name, but I could give her this little piece of hope.

“We have a lead,” I whispered so low that I wasn’t sure if she heard me until she stiffened, my words registering.

She pulled back, still shaking, but the tears at least had stopped. “What do you mean? Who? Who is it? Do you know?”

I shook my head. “I can’t tell you more than that yet.”

I implored her to understand with a look I hope conveyed everything I couldn’t say. Viv was always the best at understanding what I meant with a single look, but she was also the first one to beat the details out of me when she knew I was hiding something from her.

“I can promise you that as soon as I know something concrete, you will be the first to know.”

She opened her mouth, and I could see the fire of a coming argument in her eye and stood, shaking my head once, sharp. “Don’t say anything to anyone. Not yet. This stays between us. I should know more in a day or two and then, if I’m right, we might know exactly where Destiny is.”

Her eyes went wide at that and some color returned to her cheeks.

“Okay,” she said simply, the complete opposite of what I was sure she wanted to say, and it just made me love her even more.

When push came to shove, Vivian knew that I would do everything within my power to get her mate back.

That there was very little I wouldn’t sacrifice to do it.

“Okay,” I repeated then gestured to her bed. “Get some rest. I’ll have someone bring you in some venison when it’s ready.”

“And wake me up when it’s time to leave?” she added, and I could tell by the hard set of her stare that she wouldn’t even dare try to sleep unless I promised her.

“Yes. I will.”

She nodded solemnly to herself, and I watched as she pulled herself back up onto her bed and took a long drink out of a bottle of water before lying down.

I shut the curtains and grabbed the stinking trash bin from the floor before closing the door behind me and sighing.

I set the bin down outside and took a moment to compose myself before heading back across camp.

I sensed their eyes on me as I passed. From the windows of the cabins. From the footpaths, their footfalls pausing, not daring to come near as I wandered on numb legs through the zigzagging pathways.

The guilt gnawed at me. I didn’t have to be in my wolf form to know what they were thinking. They blamed me for what was happening. They wondered why I hadn’t found our missing kin yet. Why I wasn’t doing more.

My fault.

All of it was my fault.

How could I have let this happen?

I startled as someone appeared at my side and broke free of the dark thoughts swirling within at the sight of silvery hair pulled into a loose braid.

The lightest of the strands reflecting the sunlight.

Hazel hobbled along next to me, a sour look on her face as she bared her teeth at a trio of shifters near the fire ring who all ceased their conversation to stare openly as we passed.

“Little heathens,” she muttered. “Don’t pay them any mind.”

She patted my elbow and glanced up at me with her blind eyes. “You’re doing great, child,” she said. “You’ll find them all. I know you will.”

I smirked coldly at her, wishing I could be as confident in myself as she seemed to be. “Thanks, Grams.”

“You go rest now. Seth and I are whipping up a nice venison bourguignon. I’ll be sure to put extra wine in it. Everything tastes better with booze in it.”

A small laugh escaped my lips at that, and she clapped me on the ass, sending me off toward the cabin. “There you go. You’ll be right as rain after some rest and food. Get some nookie, too, while you’re in there. I’m still waiting on those grandbabies.”

I flushed scarlet, wishing she could see the glare I shot her way before traipsing up the stairs and inside. Jared and Clay were sitting at the kitchen island, the pair of them sending me knowing looks that told me they’d heard everything Grams had just said.

“Grandbabies, eh?” Jared asked, a brow raised as he peeled a label off of his beer bottle. “How long has she been pushing you for pups?”

I rolled my eyes. “Awhile.”

“Fucking terrifying,” Clay grumbled, shuddering as he took a swig of his beer, earning himself a hard elbow from Jared.